No one is interested in listening

LegacyUser

Lost someone close to me last week and I find friends do not want to listen. When I say I am upset they immediately suggest therapy and bereavement counseling. Now I feel like I have no-one to turn to, as they all suggest therapy instead of speaking to them - it is only a week; surely its acceptable to need friends? People got through death before counseling was around with the support of friends, its just adding to the sense of loneliness that I have no-one to speak to and support me. I will probably have to resort to speaking to a stranger (counsellor) out of desperation even though they don't know me or the person I loved but I want to just talk to someone that cares and that would put an arm around me to comfort me. I know this isn't what counseling provides so it makes me feel thoroughly lonely.

axel rose

Hi, sorry to hear that you lost your friend. I'm equally sorry to hear that you don't have anyone to talk to about this.

Unfortunately many people are afraid of people who are experiencing grief. They feel uncomfortable and awkward and often they just want to avoid it or ignore it. It doesn't make them bad people or even bad friends, they are just bad at supporting you through this.

Is there a family member you could talk through about how you are feeling. Also don't forget us . I imagine that many of the boardsies that read and post on this forum have lost someone they loved-It may not be face to face chat but it can be cathartic to get it all out. There is sticky at the top of the forum called 'Tell us about them' or you could start a new thread.

Anyway take care, maybe we'll chat soon

Deki

I've lost quite a few friends. One of the sweetest people in the world from an aneurysm, very unexpected. Some people find it very hard to face the fact that young people die. The fragility of life frightens them. They don't like to think about it let alone talk about it. If you want to get your feelings out I'm ready to listen:) Consider yourself hugged.

andrew cross

sorry for your loss in our society there is less time for grief the pressures of the public gaze dictate correctness even in such a private and personal experience people just dont understand i guess

Sardonicat

So sorry to here about your loss, OP. It must be very hard to feel shut down whenever you try and express your feelings.

I think alot of people,especially younger people, are afraid to engage with someone expereincing grief because they are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and making the bereaved person feel worse. This is usually because they have little or no experience of it themsleves and feel overwhlemed by the raw emotion that they see in front of them, and, like I said, don't want to make you worse.

Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk to somone.Also, don't be afraid to talk to a bereavement counsellor. I know you feel let down by your friends and feel that you shouldn't have to go. Honestly, I think that they don't mean to let you down, just that they are too afraid of hurting you.

Bereavment counselling is different from ordinary counselling and you recognise yourself that you need to share your feelings with someone who will listen. If the burden becomes too much for you please consider giving it a shot. Not because there is anything "wrong" with you but because grief hurts and everyone needs a bit of support so they can heal after someone they love dies.

All the best