Worst/most embarrassing bout of vomiting you have ever endured?

tommy21

If you passed a man inexplicably screaming over the side of the Connor Pass today in Kerry, that was me suffering from food poisoning ... 5 hours to get back to Cork and 8 scenic stops along the way. I have aged ten years. Thankfully it didn't progress further than throwing up!

A few bus loads of tourists passed too, all agog but was too sick to care.

Now that I can converse for a few minutes without destroying my laptop with projectile vomiting, what is the worst or most embarrassing bout you have ever experienced?

Being in the middle of jervis one day and just barely managing to make it to a bin

horrible tummy bug, was in bits for days

AckwelFoley

Middle of 3rd year french... projectile...

Teacher treated me like i had AIDS.


Lucky guess i suppose

admiralofthefleet

did a vurp (a burp that brings up some vomit) in the back of a taxi but held it in my mouth til the car stopped at the lights. wound the window down and set it free

Superbus

Middle of a football match, while I had the ball.

CreepingDeath

College days, many, many years ago.
Got the last bus home after drinking far more Guinness than could be comfortably accommodated.
I was in a packed bus (the number 7 from city centre to Ballybrack).

Luckily I was upstairs and the very back row.
Ended up puking on myself and the floor around Dun Laoghaire.
Still had another 20 mins of bus journey to go.

Luckily every was stating intently ahead and ignoring me.
But I had a walk of shame past everyone on the way out.

Ruu_Old

Taxi from Chicago O'Hare to the city center. Flippin' airline food came up. The driver was a gent though, pulled over to the side in mad Chicago traffic so I could get the last of it out of my system and gave me a bottle of water. The fare was about $40 (incl. soil charge:o). I gave him $60 for his troubles, he refused but I told him to keep it.

Rented Mule

Super Bowl Sunday 1993 - started drinking @ 10:00am) - cases of beer (48 x 350ml) into the game (I used to be a bit of a drinker), I happen to get a tickle in the back of my throat causing me to cough relentlessly.

Let's just say that the wallpaper on my friend's parents house have never been the same.

Dallas won the Super Bowl causing another bout of the 'chucks.

Dunjohn

On a bus, into town, after work, when I was about sixteen. I'd felt poorly all day but the rumbling of the bus just did me in. I had to jump off half way and It Began as I was getting off. Most of it landed on the ground or the railings, but some landed on my legs. Everyone on the bus saw me, and I had to hang around there in the open for ten minutes while my mother came to collect me. I was laid up for a few days after that.

admiralofthefleet

CreepingDeath wrote: »

College days, many, many years ago.
Got the last bus home after drinking far more Guinness than could be comfortably accommodated.
I was in a packed bus (the number 7 from city centre to Ballybrack).

Luckily I was upstairs and the very back row.
Ended up puking on myself and the floor around Dun Laoghaire.
Still had another 20 mins of bus journey to go.

Luckily every was stating intently ahead and ignoring me.
But I had a walk of shame past everyone on the way out.

my mate did that on the 46a years ago on the way to wesley, he was drinking guinness from the can and brought it all up. the horrible part was when the bus accelerated the river of guinness puke flowed back down the bus and when it slowed down the river flowed back up to the front

chirogirl

as a Kid I used to suffer with bad motion sickness on coaches. So end of year school trips were usually eventful for me especially enroute to the likes of Alton Towers and Blackpool

Riesen_Meal

Pulling over after the toll on the M50 northbound and hurling at the side of the road at 3pm on a Saturday, self inflicted of course....

jokettle

In front of my boyfriend when we'd been together, oh, maybe a month? It was at a bus stop one morning, I fainted just as the bus pulled up too. Thanks to all the lovely commuters who stared with their mouths open instead of offering any help to the very clearly ill young woman.

Also thanks to my boyfriend for reminding of that incident last night Apparently, that's when he decided I was a keeper. Score :cool:

Brendog

at funderland.

got on a ride and almost puked. once the ride stopped I turned to the hot chick beside me showered her in "homemade vegetable soup".

Adam

on the train to school from skerries to connolly, half seven in the morning. i had decided to have breakfast that morning, speacial k if i recall correctly. mind you, breakfast never really agreed with me! this train would hit all the stops before howth junction and then non stop to connelly, and just before howth junction i started to feel lightheaded, probably from the disgustingly overloaded commuter route train with no open windows (god forbid the people in their lovely seats should get a breeze on them! :mad:) so i nearly pass out, and a gentleman notices and asks am i ok. i nod in the affirmative and he suggests i sit down, but with not even room to do that i merely hunkered down with my back to the pole behind me. gazing at a sea of feet, i slowly realised i was going to upchuck, so i braced myself, took aim, and fired at some poor lady's expensive looking shoes and suit trousers! que the special k...now i have terrible circulation in my legs, i cant sit cross-legged for five minutes without pins and needles, but i was so embarrassed i couldn't bring myself to stand nose to nose with this poor lady, who never even reacted, bless her cotton socks (although i bet she wished she were actually wearing socks that morning!) so i stayed in that position for an agonizing twenty minutes, until we finally reached the station, at which point i lifted myself slowly and nearly fell off the train because i couldn't feel my legs! i then sat on a bench, waited for the next train back to skerries and went to bed!

sorry lady...

Sanjuro

I was sitting on the bus, a little inebriated after the first outing in college. Sitting across from this elderly woman, I felt the usual rubling that precedes vomiting. I tried to hold it, but it began to erupt from my gut. The elderly woman noticed my increasingly wobbly and grey person. Noticing that she noticed, I put my hand over my mouth, and held up my finger in a 'got it' motion. It was only then that ol' faithful erupted and I vomited straight into my mouth. My mouth couldn't handle the volume of puke, and since I had my hand over my mouth, the vomit came streaming out both sides of my hand like some sort of pea soup fountain. I fell off the bus at the next stop. Which happened to be two stops after where I should have left the bus.

admiralofthefleet

jokettle wrote: »

In front of my boyfriend when we'd been together, oh, maybe a month? It was at a bus stop one morning, I fainted just as the bus pulled up too. Thanks to all the lovel commuters who stared with their mouths open instead of offering any help to the very clearly ill young woman.

Also thanks to my boyfriend for reminding of that incident last night Apparently, that's when he decided I was a keeper. Score :cool:

i did the same when my missus had mixed her drinks in rathmines a while ago. she was puking every few seconds and we were both covered. i didnt mind at all because i just wanted to make sure she was ok.

BrokenArrows

Was out one night for a few pints. Only had 3.
After returning home and going to sleep a few hours after i awoke with a weird feeling.

I went to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach;
and so began the on the hour every hour of getting sick for about 10-12 hours.

I had to force myself to drink loads of water just so i wouldn't be dry wrenching.

I was glad then what i over.

kowloon

Got a bad case of something and had to rush to the porcelain throne, had just started to go when the cramps got too bad and I started getting lightheaded.
I couldn't get off the toilet to get sick in it so I ended up vomiting straight forward into my jocks and trousers which were around my ankles.
I continued to squirt out both ends for what seemed like a lifetime, I felt like a tube of toothpaste that had been squeezed empty.
Had to spend the night lying in the bath, the bout continued for another two days.

selfbuildkk

At a wedding in Italy. It was being held in the brides house,(I was friends with the groom, didnt really know the bride). Earlier on in the day I had been coming out of the shower wet towel in hand and the mother of the bride (in italian, translated by the bride) started going mental that there was water dripping on the highly polished wooden.
Back from the church and we were treated to the most amazing ten course meal, the usual in Italy im told. Being adventurous i tried all the food and all the different wines for each course.
Having a ball, the out comes the grappa. Assuming it was just another wine, cue me drinking wine glasses of the stuff (that far on at this stage i could have been drinkin petrol).
Priding myself on knowing "the one thats one too many" I headed for bed,I was staying in the brides younger sisters room) Hopped in to bed happy out, until the dreaded spins started. Up I lept, unable to find a light switch i had no option but to spew beside the bed. It was coming up in bucket loads, projectile. During a break, i found the light swtich. It was everywhere,walls, of course those highly polished floor ran throughout the house! Freaked out and started cleaning up with a small packet of Kleenex.One sheet did not do plenty.
Started off again, not wanting to get any more on the floors i had to do it in my suitcase, which was full before long.
The chap staying in the room with me (the grooms brother) came in. freaked out me still vomiting,called his brother up, along with the bride!!! Long story short (sorry) ended up bride scrubbing up my puke still in her wedding dress for fear the mother would find out. Mortified needless to say.
This couldnt get any worse,you might say.What i should have mentioned was her younger sister was an artist. I managed to cover her entire portfolio with the entire contents of my stomach, and probably one or two of my internal organs.
Needless to say it took a lot of coaxing to get me down for breakfast the next morning, when i eventually did, fearing for my life over the state of the room, sat at the table, brides Dad comes over and plonks a bottle of grappa on the table for my breakfast and burst out laughing! Oh the relief! (apologies for the long post)

Cool_CM

The reason I no longer buy kebabs in Ireland, Tonis Papamio near St. James' hospital.

Shocking take away.

Sea Sharp

I got sick on the floor of a pub in front of a family eating dinner. It was around 3pm in the day. Shouldn't have mixed Guinness and Budweiser.


(I was only 16 in fairness though. )

Truley

Having picked up some sort of bug on holiday in New York I puked on the top of the Empire State Building (not off it - that would have been cool!) Headed back to the apartment puking in every bin along the way :cool:

Celly Smunt

Truley wrote: »

Having picked up some sort of bug on holiday in New York I puked on the top of the Empire State Building (not off it - that would have been cool!) Headed back to the apartment puking in every bin along the way :cool:

i puked off the CN tower,beat that,that was probably my most famous one :cool:

one,one night stand i puked all over the girl under me,poor girl cried grabbed everything and ran out the door,but during this i was still puking all over my bedroom

PeterIanStaker

I puked off a bridge one time, dont know if there was anyone under it, probably not.

Celly Smunt

PeterIanStaker wrote: »

I puked off a bridge one time, dont know if there was anyone under it, probably not.

troll

AlmightyCushion

I was in first year and it was the first day of rag week so of course we got absolutely ****faced. We ended up drinking some evil concoctions (vodka, whiskey, scotch, brandy, some cheap baileys crap, wine, mickey finns etc). Any who, one of my friends was having a house party for his 18 birthday so I saunter over to his place drunk as the proverbial skunk.

It turns out no one came to his party so it was him, his two housemates (all of which were sober) and a stupendously drunk me in his flat. At this stage I had enough alcohol in my system to paralyse a small horse. I was sitting on a chair in his kitchen slipping into an alcohol induced coma. Then I felt the urge to get sick. I got up and ran over to his sink and puked all over it. Unfortunately he had a basin in his sink with a load of dishes in it so I covered them in vomit. At this point I can't remember anything so I'm relying on what others have told me. It turns out that I went to one of my classmates (he was one of the ones that I was drinking with earlier in the night) flats and got sick in his place a few times. He wasn't too annoyed when he found out (he also doesn't remember this) as he got sick all over his place as well. There was sick everywhere in his place. It was the most I ever threw up but still a great night.

Cat Melodeon

When I was pregnant I had no real symptoms, no morning sickness, mood swings etc. Bar one morning when I was driving to work. Spinning along at 100km, listening to some morning radio show and Eminem's Slim Shady came on. I suddenly started thinking about the video for the song and that bit where they gob into the fat woman's burger. Something about the mental image made me gag and out of the blue I hurled all over the steering wheel and windscreen. And on and on it went, like the bloke at the end of The Meaning of Life, my eyes watering and nearly blind, heaving to the extent that I could barely hit the brakes. Lucky it was a quiet morning and a country road. I didn't go to work that day. Only time in my adult life that I've had non-alcohol-related puking!

fonecrusher1

I vomitted in front of a girl i was on a second date with a few years ago. I absolutely couldn't help it, one minute i was fine, the next im fighting to contain the contents of my stomach. Happened on a main street so i attracted a lot of attention. Poor girl pretended not to be bothered but i knew she was freaked out.

We parted company, i got the bus (got sick into a plastic bag twice on the way) home & went straight to bed & puked all night. I also had the scuts.

Never go to a bbq where the cook is drunk. 4 other people at the bbq were also sick.

I still get paranoid at bbq's.:(

Susannahmia

When I was 7 I had some kind of virus that eventually landed me on hospital. Remember projectile vomiting one night, from one end of the kitchen to the other, went at least 10 feet and lasted ages. Even at at the time mid puke I thought it was epic.

strokemyclover

I had the great misfortune to see a mate absolutely hammered taking a dump in an open stall in a nightclub in town. The poor bastard was so plastered he forgot to close the door while sitting on the throne so we all got a great view when he totally lost control of all bodily functions and ended up getting sick into his trousers which were conveniently placed around his ankles.

Sure enough, he had to pull them up and stumble home. I don't think we ever told him the full story as he thought himself to be quite the drinker at the time!

Jev/N

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

There was sick everywhere in his place. It was the most I ever threw up but still a great night.

LOL, reminds me of a Simpsons quote...

It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer Goes To College

I'll post my story later

Adam

kowloon wrote: »

Got a bad case of something and had to rush to the porcelain throne, had just started to go when the cramps got too bad and I started getting lightheaded.
I couldn't get off the toilet to get sick in it so I ended up vomiting straight forward into my jocks and trousers which were around my ankles.
I continued to squirt out both ends for what seemed like a lifetime, I felt like a tube of toothpaste that had been squeezed empty.
Had to spend the night lying in the bath, the bout continued for another two days.

strokemyclover wrote: »

I had the great misfortune to see a mate absolutely hammered taking a dump in an open stall in a nightclub in town. The poor bastard was so plastered he forgot to close the door while sitting on the throne so we all got a great view when he totally lost control of all bodily functions and ended up getting sick into his trousers which were conveniently placed around his ankles.

Sure enough, he had to pull them up and stumble home. I don't think we ever told him the full story as he thought himself to be quite the drinker at the time!

???

ringadingding

Years ago when i was about 17, i went back to this girls that i worked with parents house We were pretty pissed and were proper horny, no jonnys, so i offered a deal that i get a BJ and after i go down on her, stupidly, she agreed. I got my BJ in the living room of her parents bungalow and it was time for me to go down on her, well i went down and put my head right in there, and man what a smell of pungent smoked fish, i threw down some seriously spontaneous vomiting all over her poont@ng, legs belly, everywhere, she started screaming and her auld feller came booting out of the bedroom to find his 16 year old daughter naked, being puked on by some random guy, he chased me around the garden before slipping over in the mud and giving up.

I had to face her in work the next day.

Saw her on facebook recently, she's a right munter.

titan18

I was about 8 or 9 when this happened to me.Not sure what I ate or drank either.

Was asleep at night when my stomach decided to projectice vomit all over my bedroom.Ceiling,floor,curtains,walls,me all covered in vomit.Woke up when my dad came in.He had to clean it up after :eek:

Despite all the cleaning and everything, my duvet, a very nice Manchester United one, had a UFO shape right at the end of it afterwards and would never come off.

threein99

Puked in a crowded lift when i about 12, I never seen as many people scatter with no where to go in my life

nachoman

It was after I consumed a flagon of vodka mixed with coke and large amounts of snacks in the cinema
that I began to feel a little queasy.
When I got the bus home initially I began to feel heavy and bloated.
But the hot weather that day combined with the stifling heat on the bus triggered it.
I began to fill a paper Easons bag to the brim with puke on the stairs of a crowded bus.
When the sick began seeping through the thin paper I began to panic,
so I quickly deposited the bloated bag of sick on the stairs avoided eye contact with the passangers and
quickly legged it off the bus - the smell must have been all over the bus on a humid swelting day like that and
I can only imagine some poor victim slipping and sliding on that puke bomb left on the stairs - teehee.

Novella

Had food poisoning a few years ago. I worked in River Island at the time and the January sales were starting so I couldn't ring in sick. Went to work, shop was insanely busy, really warm, people everywhere etc. I told my manager I didn't feel too well being on the shop floor... so she decided that the best place for me was on the tills...

She was wrong.

Cantona's Collars

Puked relentlessly over the wall of the local church on a Sunday morning as everybody headed to mass-it was like a scene from a horror movie,was waiting for the priest to come out and perform an exorcism,it was the last pint that did the damage the night before.(always is)

Saila

In a pub drinking jack daniels and pints for about 10 hrs, puked in a big coke container on a table..and staggered out soon after

Agricola

Chatting to my mother one sunday morning when I was 17 or 18 after a hard night on the tiles. All of a sudden becoming nauctious, running to the sink and projectile vomiting on top of a load of cups and saucers! She had a face like the world was about to end.

Son Of A Vidic

Halls of Residence in my London days, after drinking the local dry. Didn't we all decide to converge on a room back in the students res. I remember consuming a bottle of pink Vodka, which proved to be the final straw for me. Feeling the 'hurl' coming, I decided the best course of action would be to jump down 4 flight of stairs to my ground floor room. Upon arrival, I rapidly approached the window, opened it and proceded to vomitt like a demon.

Two important points here, which compounded matters.
1) My ground floor room window, opened on to a communal courtyard area.
2) Sure hadn't we lost track of time, so dawn had come and gone. So the courtyard was only full with about 30/40 students, as I hung out my window doing my possessed demon impersonation.

Mint Sauce

about 13/14 years old, was a fundraiser concert, closest thing to hand was my baseball cap, didn't even make it out of the row i sitting in.

OPENROAD

Sea Sharp wrote: »

I got sick on the floor of a pub in front of a family eating dinner. It was around 3pm in the day. Shouldn't have mixed Guinness and Budweiser.


(I was only 16 in fairness though. )

You shouldn't have been drinking Budweiser full stop.

starlit

Had three embarrassing ones. One of which was when I was at a school mass, second occassion was when I was at a nightclub, just sipped a shot and it never reached very far down to my tum but luckily made it to the toliet bowl before I did any damage! Thought I wouldn't make it! Third time was when I was walking down a set of stairs in a hospital had an anesthetic that day. Just got very ill all of a sudden and the unthinkable happened. Any other time was the usual, either bug/alcohol/eating too much/migrane induced!

Aidric

In the back of a taxi in the college days. Myself and 2 mates had just polished off a bottle of tequila before getting in the taxi in to town. We were but a couple of minutes from our destination when the hurls came. The drivers overpowering pine of the forest didn't help matters. A good forty seconds of projectile all over the back floor.

He demanded 60 punts and being a student I said I don't have that sort of cash. His next move was to radio and then drive up to Henry St garda station and park outside. A cop came out and we compromised a soiling charge of 50 quid. My mates had to chip in to get it paid.

I haven't touched tequila since.

DazMarz

It started out about 4 months before the actual puking... We were in a bar I owned a stake in. A friend of mine was being insulted about getting a shinebox from his house by a guy who had been released from prison. My friend flipped a bit, but returned later, and proceeded to whack the guy in question!:eek:

We had to bury the body way out in the sticks, so the guy's crew (he was connected) didn't find out he was dead.

Then, we get word that they're gonna build luxury apartments where we buried this fúcking guy's body! We gotta go and dig that fúcker back up, and I mean we had to do it now.

So me and the two guys I originally buried the body with went out with our shovels to get to work. They had no problem with the putrifying corpse (that had to be loaded into the back of my fúcking Cadillac, I might add!) but I found myself regurgitating my prosciut' all over the place! How embarrassing in front of the guys!

Spewed all over, while Jimmy and Tommy just laughed it up, asking me if I wanted a leg or a wing! Fúck... that just made me puke harder!

You ain't smelled nuthin until you've smelled a six month old corpse...:(


:rolleyes::cool:

RolandIRL

This - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvMduWKHNpY

up for anything

Years ago when working in Germany after a night drinking Sekt (at DM1 per bottle you couldn't fault it) an Italian lad made spaghetti bolognese. I wolfed it down and about five minutes later it came right back up again. I was hanging over the sink with spaghetti hanging out of my mouth and the other end still somewhere in my throat trying to spew it up. Eventually pulled it all out with my hand.

lilblackdress

^ Quite possibly the funniest story here.... Sick (literally) but very funny!!

sidneykidney

up for anything wrote: »

Years ago when working in Germany after a night drinking Sekt (at DM1 per bottle you couldn't fault it) an Italian lad made spaghetti bolognese. I wolfed it down and about five minutes later it came right back up again. I was hanging over the sink with spaghetti hanging out of my mouth and the other end still somewhere in my throat trying to spew it up. Eventually pulled it all out with my hand.

I had to log in just to thank this....lol