Pregnancy & a 9 Year Old

angelfire9

Since we told our daughter that I was pregnant there have been some interesting convos in our house

I am seemingly not as "fat" as most pregnant women

It appears that pregnant women are supposed to get cranky and i'm "not that bad YET"

When we started clearing out the spare room for babs she was a bit peeved at having to find room in her own room for her toys but that was to be expected :rolleyes:

Her first question was how did I get pregnant which i answered off the cuff by telling her that "when 2 people love each other the way your mammy and daddy do then sometimes they have babies"

This satisfied her initially but she has in the last few days come back looking to know how EXACTLY (her words not mine) the baby ended up in my tummy :eek:

Anyone got any suggestions?
She's only 9 and while she is probably academically advanced for her age she is a thinker which means whatever I say she will listen to, go away and digest and return with further questions

January

A book maybe the best bet!!

http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-When-Mommys-Having/dp/0060538023/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1284486231&sr=1-2

I know it says for 4-8's on it but it explains how the baby got in there, might be appropriate!!

moldypeach

lol funnily enough we just had the same conversations with my 6 year old.

First was how does the baby get out, which i replied hmm ask daddy. Then she said no daddy just says it comes out of your bum! i nearly died laughing

How it got in there was explained by me when a mummy and daddy love each other they kiss and that makes alove seed that grows a baby in the mummys belly. That was after the stork story didn't work

girlyhappyface

What about telling her there's a special cuddle that a woman and man can do when they really like each other.
You could expand by saying they touch "private" parts or whatever if she needs to hear more info.

If kids are old enough to ask the question, they're old enough to hear the answer!

Chuchoter

9 is old enough to know the nuts and bolts of it. Give her one of those books and say she can ask you about anything she doesn't understand.

Nevyn

I just told mine the dr took the baby out and left it as that unilt on seeing thier aunt very pregant they asked me if the belly button opened up like the iris on the stargate and then the dr lifted the baby out. So then I just told them that the baby comes out the birth canal and they were happy with that for a long time.

Cat Melodeon

She may enter puberty in another 2 years, so you could go down the 'biology of the female' route. My 8-yr-old nephew asked my sister about it when I was pregnant. The conversation was something like this:

Nephew: So mam, how did the baby get in there?
Sis: Every month the woman lays an egg. She has a special organ inside her that makes eggs.
Nephew: An organ like at mass?
Sis: No, an organ is a part of your body with a special job, you heart is for pumping blood, your lungs are for breathing and so on. Girl's have an organ that makes eggs.
Nephew: Like chickens.
Sis: Kind of. They're much smaller and don't have shells.
Nephew: Do they have a yolk?
Sis: Not really.
Nephew: Could you scramble them?
Sis: No.
Nephew: How do you lay them?
Sis: Well. You know the way you have a place where wee comes out and a place where poo comes out?
Nephew: Yeeeah.
Sis: Well girls have an extra place where eggs come out if they're not used. If they are used, they stay inside the woman in a special kind of a tummy thing where they grow for nine months and then when they're ready they come out the same place that the unused eggs come out.
Nephew: Oh. Is it a really big place that the baby come out?
Sis: No. It's very small, but it's sort of elasticky and can stretch.
Nephew: Can I see yours mam?
Sis: No. Go out and play.


So it's kind of an immaculate conception explanation, but it works. The question of how it happens that an egg is used or not didn't come up.

wolfpawnat

Cat Melodeon's post is the best.

I went to London this year and went to the Science museum. In the section about reproduction, they had everything laid out quiet well on boards with a section through the man and the woman and lights showing the sperm and the eggs and both making their journeys into the fallopian tube.

There was a man there with his 7-8 year old son and explained everything honestly. The son turns around and asked is his urine sperm, the dad explained no its not and showed the little blockage that happens to prevent both mixing during sexual intercourse and the boy turned around to him with a serious face and asked "So that's it, thats what mum and Mrs. Andrews (I assume his teacher) were so scared to tell me?, I thought it would at least be something better than peeing in a girl!!!" I was nearly on the floor in stitches and swore I would go there to tell my son!

Honesty is often best, they are smarter than they are given credit for and they can just google it if they are not satisfied with our answers!

Fittle

CatMelodeon's post made me laugh out loud...:D

At the age of about 4, my son started to ask those questions. Myself and his dad split when I was pregnant and he was wondering more about his dads input in his 'creation' than anything (considering he hasn't ever met the man:().

Can't remember where I read it, but I told him that I had an egg in my belly, and his dad had a seed inside him. Because we loved each other, we got the seed to 'meet' the egg and then he was made. So that's how he was half of me, and half of his dad. At that time, I also told him that babies come out of your belly, and that the doctor cuts a tiny hole to get babies out (which isn't really a lie!).

More recently,(8 now) he started to probe a bit more, so I told him that some babies come out of bellies but that most babies come out of that other tiny hole that mammies have. He looked a bit shocked, but I explained that it's very elastic-ish, and it stretches real easy so he could get out.
I also told him not to chat about this to his pals (he has some 6/7yr old friends on the road) because this was something that only older boys like him, could really understand, and that their mammies would tell them when they were 8.....

He thought about it all for about 20 minutes and said 'So how old will I be when you tell me EXACTLY HOW the seed GETS to the egg........':eek:

MzFit

@Fittle - you've got a smart little cookie there love it!

talkin

yeah i think 9 is old enough to get the talk,,i got the talk when i was about 7

Tanzi

"If kids are old enough to ask the question, they're old enough to hear the answer!"

I agree with this!
My daughter is 10. She asked me when she was 8 and I told her it was when a man and woman are in love and are old enough to be good parents sex is a way that they can make a baby. I told her about the physicalities of it only recently. But I think as a parent it is important that you teach your daughters or sons about these things on a personal level, as it is a personal subject. It should not come from a book or tv or internet. If parents don't then kids will find out anyway, be it in school from other kids or elsewhere, and most likely it wont be explained to them as delicately as you would have wanted, so best to be honest I say.

Yawns

Is it ok that I had the birds & the bees talk with my 2 yr old? Now I can say I had the conversation with him and any further questions he can ask his mammy

Well he did sit there listening and saying yep so that's my excuse!

FoxT

All,
some great posts & lovely stories here. OP, I'd suggest going with the book - but read it with the girl, I wouldn't just hand it to her. Watch her reactions & respond to any questions she has.

It is also a good opportunity to explain a little about boundaries - ie what is private, what they can chat with their friends about.

Finally - I have ben surprised at what they pick up from TV....so really important to be available to answer Q's. My most memorable incident of this was when I was driving the car, with my then 6yo in the back.

Son: 'Hey dad, whats a Lesbian'
me: ( stifling a splutter) ' A lesbian is a lady who prefers to have relationships with other ladies, most ladies prefer to have relationships with men. uhhh, where did you come across that?'
son: ' Ohhh the Simpsons'
me: 'Ah! OK'

pause.

Son: ' Dad, what is a relationship? ' :eek:

Sometimes you can't win!


- FoxT

How Strange

Kids are so funny sometimes. My 9 year old nephew keeps looking at me in a weird way and I'm always half expecting him to ask me a 'awkward' question. He's made a few comments on the size of my belly and was delighted when I asked if he wanted to put his hand on it to see what it felt like.

He's looking forward to a new cousin and hopes it's a boy and has already said he's up for changing nappies!?! We'll see how long that lasts. He has other cousins but I get the feeling it's an adjustment for him to see me having a baby.

barbiegirl

When my sister was expecting her second her first was three/four and still liked to be carried up to bed. Eventually she had to explain that Mammy had a baby in her belly so she couldn't carry him up the stairs any more. His response nearly killed her "Don't be silly Mammy you can't eat babies"
Then as she got bigger, and at seven months was asleep snoring soundly in front of the fire, she woke to a toy ladder being shoved down her throat. It was for the baby to crawl out
Since then baby number three arrived, and on coming home, the same child, then seven, announced that Mammy and Daddy could have as many more babies as they wanted, but he wasn't minding them they were going to an orphanage:D
I love him he comes out with the best stuff