Do you

Snowie

Wondering lurking in the ladys lounge at thread the do you want kids one came up :eek:......

So lads do you want kids?

but before that, I know a few people now adays with kids im slightly affriad of them. well baby's that is (I might brake them or something)... they just seem to fall into this rut with in life, of no having fun being sensible. etc etc... Which is great but as parents you gotta live to, To many fathers and mother live there life through there parents eyes be it education sport or mapping there hole careers out.

which to me sounds barmey but its a fact....

My opinion over the last few years has always been yeah I would like to be a father. But it comes at a cost no more off piste powder days because ive got a 3 year old son whos more important then anything else on this planet kinda thing.

To me there's a lot of commitment with in father hood... that most blokes pay little or no attention to. they place there fertilizer and well that's it the wife/gf does the rest. But thats not the case and genrally things go a bit wrong in some cases from that attitude.

While i would be prepared to make that commitment. its 16 to 18 years of pure work... food on the table clothes bills, school nappys cars sports yada yada yada... From the perspective it kinda intimidates me there's no more I'm sick of work I'm taking a sabbatical.....

but then I guess there's things like teaching a sprog how to ride a bike or ya know.... its a bit mad...

to me it sounds so nice but it also seems very strained. and full of moments of maddness etc... But also fun ..
Would you agree?

whats your take?

Wibbs

Personally no I don't. Not at the moment anyway. It's possible I would want children if I met someone I wanted to have children with, if you know what I mean? But kids themselves no.

Snowie

Wibbs wrote: »

Personally no I don't. Not at the moment anyway. It's possible I would want children if I met someone I wanted to have children with, if you know what I mean? But kids themselves no.

Yeah man I get you its kinda like, My thread "My Fear" that 100% of wanting to have kids is more about the woman apposed to everything else that goes on...

I forgot to point that part out.

I hear ya.

Dr_Phil

I don't think I do, the one I have is more than I need. My wife pushes me for another one so I probably end up having antoher, but this is not something I would dream about.

BopNiblets

I think I might eventually, maybe a little girl to melt my manly heart of stone.
Not sure though.

Homer: Kids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the Internet and all.

krudler

Some day maybe, not now though. But I love minding my nephew, he's 6 and full of questions and comes out with the funniest stuff you've ever heard in his innocence but at least I get to give him back at the end of a day :pac:

amacachi

Definitely want kids, just need to trick some chick into wanting them with me some day. :pac:

Odaise Gaelach

No children for me, thanks.

Handsome Bob

My opinion varies depending on the kids I come across in my day to day travels. I mean there are times when I come across absolute little demons and say to myself "fcuk that, I never want one of them." Then there are times when you come across kids where, well, you just want to shake the hand of both parents. When those instances occur I soften towards the idea of having kids.

But right now as of this moment, hell no, it will be (hopefully) a very long time before I have to worry about it.

suey71

I've got 4 myself, 2 boys and 2 girls between 8yrs and 7mts and they're great. I'd hate not to be a dad.

To me my kids are like a packet of Revels, they're completly different to each other and your never sure of what your gonna get from one day to the next.

Uriel.

I am really not sure at all. You could ask me once a week for a year and at the end you will probably have a bunch of yes, maybes and nos.

I think like Wibbs said earlier it could very well be down to meeting the right girl whom I would want to have kids with.

Galvasean

Eventually. Not for a few years anyway. Need a bit of stability in my life first. I'll try hang on to a woman for more than a few months before I think too seriously into the matter.

myflipflops

Yes, definately. That's probably to do with the massively positive influence my father was/is on myself and my siblings. My brother had an 'accident one' not too long ago and he has taken to fatherhood brilliantly.

Mackman

Yes i do want kids. 2/3 hopefully. I used to be like you Snow-Monkey, scared of them, scared i might break them or teach them something wrong, but after spending a couple of years seeing my future neice and nephew growing up, i really cant wait for it.
Yes they're a lot of work, and its a lot of responsibility, but i think the end result is worth it

nkay1985

Yeah I absolutely want kids. I'm getting married in 5 weeks' time so am obviously in a stable relationship! If I could pick a timeline, I'd like it to be two or three years from now. I'll be 27/28 then. Since I came out of college I've lived my life, alright, but I've also spent a lot of time saving hard so the long-term things I want are easier financially than some people make them. So now I'd like a couple of years where I can be relaxed again and enjoy my life with my wife before we become Mammy and Daddy. Because the reality is that Snow Monkey's got a point: with babies comes huge responsibility and a loss of independence.

With all that being said, if my fiancée got pregnant in the morning it wouldn't be the end of the world and I'd love and care for the child as much as I ever would. I love children and love the idea of being a father, particularly while I'm still quite young as I want to have the energy levels to do all the things I want with them.

Otis Driftwood

Definitly would like to have kids at some stage in the future but as others have mentioned,it would be ideally in a loving and stable relationship.

Who knows though,I could end up with someone that couldnt have/didnt want them,I could end up not being able to have them myself or I might never meet anyone that Id want to raise a family with.

I certainly wouldnt want them just for the sake of having them though.

OldGoat

Pre kids I was always a bit ambivalent about having some. I'da been happy enough either way. Now that I have a pair of them I'm really glad that we did. They make me angry, sad, mad and on one occasion vomit with anxiety. But sitting down to dinner with the kids is the best part of my day, each and every day.
And, conceited as this might sound, we've reared two ubercool kids.

Greyfox

No way, their too expensive and too noisy and far too time consuming, lifes already too short as it is!

Logical Fallacy

No kids for me thanks. Not my bag. Thankfully the siblings have already rendering grandkids for my rents so they are firmly off my back about the whole thing.

The mildly annoying part is conversations like this in real life, my answer is met with "Oh, but you will some day". No, i really ****ing won't.

magneticimpulse

what a scary thread...argh.

29 female nearly 30 and have lots of single female friends same age group and not one says they want kids. We all have a fear of them. See so many threads with guys our age complaining that "women our age" just want kids.

I think its easy for a guy...it would be easy to say yes.

A woman? Having something grow inside, then pushing it out...then feeding it everynight, and you got to do the breast feeding otherwise people would look down on you...so then you have something sucking on your nipples everyday, them going hard because of it. The sleepless nights, ****ty nappies, screaming, crying. On top of it have a job. No more random last minute holidays skiing or last minute back packing trips around the world. No alcohol for 9 months ;( Spending mad money on buggy...like 1000 euro or whatever. prob 10 euro for a pack of nappies.

Oh no no no. Maybe when Im 40 (and my friends might consider) and even then might get surrogate mother to do it for me.

suey71

I've done everything you've mentioned apart from the giving birth(I'm a guy) and the breast feeding. Everything.

Sanctamonious women give women a bad name, always moaning about the things you should be enjoying. like having kids, damn, its not a chore, its love, so stop your moaning and enjoy being a parent, it really isn't that hard, its in our nature to nurture. Well in some of us anyway.

IrishEyes19

magneticimpulse wrote: »

what a scary thread...argh.

29 female nearly 30 and have lots of single female friends same age group and not one says they want kids. We all have a fear of them. See so many threads with guys our age complaining that "women our age" just want kids.

I think its easy for a guy...it would be easy to say yes.

A woman? Having something grow inside, then pushing it out...then feeding it everynight, and you got to do the breast feeding otherwise people would look down on you...so then you have something sucking on your nipples everyday, them going hard because of it. The sleepless nights, ****ty nappies, screaming, crying. On top of it have a job. No more random last minute holidays skiing or last minute back packing trips around the world. No alcohol for 9 months ;( Spending mad money on buggy...like 1000 euro or whatever. prob 10 euro for a pack of nappies.

Oh no no no. Maybe when Im 40 (and my friends might consider) and even then might get surrogate mother to do it for me.

I wouldnt take not breast feeding into account or what people say about it. Thats not the most shocking or important part of having kids tbh. Thats a personal choice. Its your body, your child and no one's business but your own and your partners.

Back to the thread. It's really interesting to see what guys think because as a woman, yes I do want kids in the future. And even more interesting to see most of you arent decided on the issue yet. I would have thought it would be an overwhelming no.

CDfm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

what a scary thread...argh.................Oh no no no. Maybe when Im 40 (and my friends might consider) and even then might get surrogate mother to do it for me.

I have kids and love em. The downside as a bloke is massive on a relationship break up.

dotz

im only 22 so not at the moment but i would like to have two kids max. the whole thing of them being healthy would be my concern. a friend of mine has a 4 year old sister with down syndrome and very poor hearing. the parents are wrecked from trying to keep her under control. its an awful thing to see and i would hate to see anyone in that position. would anyone else be thinking the same way??

5live

I am a father of 4 guys and i can sympathise with all the different thoughts on this. I love my bunch even when i have to turn over the tv from a match to watch Ben and Hollys little kingdom. I like a bit of down time but apparently its a few years off yet. The last time my wife and i had a conversation was about 2 years ago:( but in the middle of money pressure and work and trying to get things done around the house one of them will walk by, stop and give a big hug and move on again. I cant put a price on that. There is a whole different world out there when you eventually have them. The pay back is huge. Absolutely massive. For me anyway:D

Bottle_of_Smoke

Yes I do

I mean I'm sure the extra responsibility will be annoying but worth it.

On the other hand, get someone pregnant, leave her, pay measly maintenance . . . best of both worlds?

(just kidding)

5live

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

On the other hand, get someone pregnant, leave her, pay measly maintenance . . . best of both worlds?

I am sure the kids would be thrilled at the prospect of an absent father. If you commit the 'crime' you have to do the time IMO. Lots wont agree i know but the absence of a male role model for a lot of kids today can lead to problems in the future but thats going off issue. If you are ready great. If not, great too. My two cents worth anyway;)

CDfm

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Yes I do

I mean I'm sure the extra responsibility will be annoying but worth it.

On the other hand, get someone pregnant, leave her, pay measly maintenance . . . best of both worlds?

(just kidding)

Hi BoS

The world has changed and wouldnt you agree that lots of guys want to be more involved than bringing home the bacon as would have happened in the past.

New men have been around for years and are now old men- so lets hear it for Dads.

Hail 2 Da Thief

I would like to have kids at some point.
The most important thing for me would be having them with a girl who I think would make a good mother.
It would be a real nightmare experience having kids with the wrong person.
I know people who have had kids with partners who show little interest in raising the kids. Surprisingly enough alot of them are women!

Sugar Free

I really don't know anymore. If I do it certainly won't be until 30++.
Could well cause relationship issues though, with the biological clock not really being an issue for my own body.

Bottle_of_Smoke

CDfm wrote: »

Hi BoS

The world has changed and wouldnt you agree that lots of guys want to be more involved than bringing home the bacon as would have happened in the past.

New men have been around for years and are now old men- so lets hear it for Dads.

Yeah totally. I actually think I'd definitely be up for being a house-husband.

KilOit

Not right now, im 27 now but i feel i need to get more free easy time out of my system before i'd have kids, i'd love to have some in my early 30's if i meet the right person, it would be great doing the whole bringing kids to football and plays and what not, the whole dad thing seems great but only when i'm ready.

amacachi

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Yeah totally. I actually think I'd definitely be up for being a house-husband.

Aye, same here.

Taltos

Never.
Went and got the snip last year to ensure there were never any "accidents".

An accident is something you might walk away from, a kid is something you want to run from...

IrishEyes19

Taltos wrote: »

Never.
Went and got the snip last year to ensure there were never any "accidents".

An accident is something you might walk away from, a kid is something you want to run from...

It's all personal choice in the end. Theres nothing wrong with having kids either. That's a brave move, Taltos, would be heartbreaking though if you changed your mind later on in life. Or if great relationships ended on the basis that you couldnt provide children.

CDfm

amacachi wrote: »

Aye, same here.

Hey, I want to be a house husband too. I am on for coffee mornings

BopNiblets

This sounds like the man date thread...

I'm in, forget the girls and babies.

amacachi

CDfm wrote: »

Hey, I want to be a house husband too. I am on for coffee mornings

Long, long time away. :pac:

alex73

I could never think of my life without kids... Each day is an adventure with them, full of surprises.

Men who go into their 40's with no kids end up alone and lonely in their 60's .

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

When I think about what I'd have to do to raise them I get a bit queasy! But I've always thought my life would be empty without kids so... very much undecided! Dosen't really matter for me though, plenty of time to decide.

Logical Fallacy

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

It's all personal choice in the end. Theres nothing wrong with having kids either. That's a brave move, Taltos, would be heartbreaking though if you changed your mind later on in life. Or if great relationships ended on the basis that you couldnt provide children.

The snip can be reversed, and women who want kids shouldn't get involved with blokes who don't, or vice versa.

Communication is awesome.

Herbal Deity

alex73 wrote: »

Men who go into their 40's with no kids end up alone and lonely in their 60's .

It was nice to get to 37 posts without a snide comment from a parent with a superiority complex. Pity you ruined that.

I'm undecided, but I think that the idea that kids are the single most fulfilling thing that life has to offer is way off the mark, and I really, really abhor a lot of parental attitudes (turning incredibly selfish and not giving a crap about anyone else besides themselves and their kids, thinking they have life all figured out just because they popped one out and sanctimoniously starting sentences with "As a parent..." etc. ) and really don't want to end up that way.

cruizer101

I want a whole gaggle of kids, if I had 11 I could have my own football team

More realistically I suppose looking at 3 or 4. Only 26 now so ideally not for at least another few years.

First things first need to find a nice oven for my buns

amacachi

cruizer101 wrote: »

I want a whole gaggle of kids, if I had 11 I could have my own football team

More realistically I suppose looking at 3 or 4. Only 26 now so ideally not for at least another few years.

First things first need to find a nice oven for my buns

Same, I'd love to have a load of kids, at least then the odds of not having at least one good kid go way down. :pac:

Snowie

cruizer101 wrote: »

I want a whole gaggle of kids, if I had 11 I could have my own football team

More realistically I suppose looking at 3 or 4. Only 26 now so ideally not for at least another few years.

First things first need to find a nice oven for my buns

3 or 4 :eek: what do you want to like bread a small country or something 2 is enough any more and your dropping into people carrier terittory do you really wanna be one of them





your madder then a bag of swedes

Joey the lips

I went from stages of wanting no kids to wanting 1 kid to wanting 10 kids... My 10 stage kid lasted a long time as i was lonely as a young lad and always wanted loads of brothers and sisters...


However I have 2 now. Wife wants 2 more but i think 1 will be our lot...


I love kids dont get me wrong but they are hard work..

Khannie

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

3 or 4 :eek: what do you want to like bread a small country or something 2 is enough any more and your dropping into people carrier terittory do you really wanna be one of them

I have 3. We're definitely going to have at least one more. I'd hope for 2 more. If we were younger I dunno where I'd stop. :eek:

2 is grand. You're back in lie-in territory within 5 years if you time it properly. I found the shift from 2 to 3 tough enough. I expect the shift from 3 to 4 to be more or less effortless (just another one). Yes we'll need a bigger car, no I don't care. Yes the house is somewhat mad, but I not only don't care but am dreading the day when it's too quiet! Cost ceases to be an issue beyond 3 really (you already have everything and childcare is already prohibitively expensive at that point so we're down to one income).

The kids are great fun though. Today I went on a rope swing about 50 times, went blackberry picking, screamed at a football match (hate football generally) and had a bunch of other laughs. Yes I was up at 8am. Yes I changed nappies. I suppose it's swings and roundabouts / good and bad.

Herbal Deity wrote: »

really don't want to end up that way.

That's easy. Just don't be an ass. I'll bet the people you refer to were asses before they were parents...they just continued being asses after they became parents.

Darlughda

alex73 wrote: »

Men who go into their 40's with no kids end up alone and lonely in their 60's .

I will never be able to fathom people who justify havingt children with this kind of reasoning in their minds.

Can there be a more selfish reason to reproduce?

And sadly for many, many neglected and lonely pensioners, this is blatantly untrue. In our child obsessed culture, elderly parents are far too often left uncared for and alone.

Darlughda

Taltos wrote: »

Never.
Went and got the snip last year to ensure there were never any "accidents".

.

Taltos, will you marry me?:D

Contrary to popular myth, it is nearly impossible to find men who don't want children. Even more rare, are those who prove it by this action