Toilets.

WeeBushy

Mardy Bum wrote: »

50 posts and counting about toilets? Has this got a wee bit embarrassing yet?

Seeing as the average person spend 5% of their life on the bog, there's not enough posts imo. Its a very important aspect of our lives and I for one applaud a man who aims to improve the experience (for us all) of squeezing one out.

Ruski

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Not in the slightest, horse.

Your avatar is VERY relevant to this thread.

FlutterinBantam

Ruski wrote: »

Your avatar is VERY relevant to this thread.

:eek:

You must be a post grad. student such is your awesome perceptibility.


High achiever eh?

Ruski

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

:eek:

You must be a post grad. student such is your awesome perceptibility.


High achiever eh?

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

parker kent

Ruski wrote: »

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Particularly unfunny sarcasm as witnessed above.

FlutterinBantam

Lads, don't be so frikken anal about a post.

Talk about pointing out the obvious.

Loosen your thongs and keep sleddin' ok.

Sorry for upsetting you .

1.1 men surely:cool:

parker kent

Wasn't really getting at you, more defending the honour of sarcasm. Biggest cliche in the world to call it the lowest form of wit. Bad sarcasm is low, good sarcasm is great.

As a regular contributor to this thread (including the addition of the information that O'Reilly Hall is where Kings go to crap) I am hardly a dry shíte. Although I am sure that I have probably caused many a dry shíte to occur on O'Reilly Hall as students are renowned for not getting enough roughage in their diets

TimeToShine

TOILET UPDATE TOILET UPDATE:

As morally and ethically wrong as it may seem, the toilets downstairs in the Arts building (down the steps behind the reception) are truly top class. Nudging aside the "handicap" sign one enters to see a glorious square shaped cubicle of 2 or 3 metres length and width. Sitting in the corner is an absolutely spotless and unused toilet. No need to worry about splash from those retárds who can't aim for a circle from 4 centimetres away, no need to worry about catching AIDS from sitting on those nasty shít stained seats, a perfectly clean flawless blue, easy on the eye and easy on the cheeks.

The best thing about these toilets? the sound-proofing. No need to worry about people hearing you in the next cubicle and thinking "who's that weirdo?". One can heave and pant all he or she wants as they desperately try to lodge that fudge monkey who just refuses to budge. Grunt, moan, pant, or just plain old shouting, your shít lodging methods are safe here.

Upon finishing, one can wipe ones ass with some sublimely soft tissue. Never again will you feel newspaper-esque Lidl quality tissue scraping the inside of your cheeks, all whilst you long for a softer touch. These tissues provide just that, and maybe a bit more.

Another interesting feature I enjoyed was the handles on the sides of the toilets, clearly there for disabled people but most helpful in releasing violent túrds. The idea that every action has an equal and opposite reaction applies here, meaning the handles can be held onto for comfort and support as you blow that fúcker out the other end.

I will report soon with regards to the next big place to take your hard earned shíts. You paid good money for the food you ate, and it's only fair that it's sent off in a fitting manner.

Mardy Bum

WeeBushy wrote: »

Seeing as the average person spend 5% of their life on the bog, there's not enough posts imo. Its a very important aspect of our lives and I for one applaud a man who aims to improve the experience (for us all) of squeezing one out.

Ok my pun obviously didn't hit home for anyone.


Note to self: Don't use puns

FlutterinBantam

Excellent report TTS...Indeed, fanned out many a gout of ripe runny stuff there in my day .

Speckled the back wall on occasions too.

RandolphEsq

TimeToShine wrote: »

Another interesting feature I enjoyed was the handles on the sides of the toilets, clearly there for disabled people but most helpful in releasing violent túrds. The idea that every action has an equal and opposite reaction applies here, meaning the handles can be held onto for comfort and support as you blow that fúcker out the other end.

I love that

delta_bravo

Saw someone eating a sandwich today in the jacks near copi print. Very poor toilet etiquette

HavingCrack

delta_bravo wrote: »

Saw someone eating a sandwich today in the jacks near copi print. Very poor toilet etiquette

Eugh, eating a sandwich in the same toilet as where Time To Shine is doing his poos :pac:

Bobby42

Chet T16 wrote: »

Second (or is it first) floor gents in the science hub has got to be the worst toilet ever.

couldn't agree more!

FlutterinBantam

I agree, went in to 'cut some rope' there last week and a log the size of a baby seal was wallowing in the shallows.

Fcuker who dropped it must have an arsehole like the sleeve of an overcoat.

Left the kip rapidly, and hosed out a peppery lad in the building behind it .

smk89

delta_bravo wrote: »

Saw someone eating a sandwich today in the jacks near copi print. Very poor toilet etiquette

Im sure this is completely innocent but how did you see someone eating a sandwich? Do you mean in the toilets or in a cubicle?

RandolphEsq

smk89 wrote: »

Im sure this is completely innocent but how did you see someone eating a sandwich? Do you mean in the toilets or in a cubicle?

I would imagine that eating whilst sitting on the loo is quite a practical way to eat; it allows for the food to go in one orifice, and out another with minimal delay

TunaSaladBB

Sneak into any of the girls' jacks to practice your brown magic. Be sure to go at a really busy time and they won't notice you. Also, Quinn used to be a good one but haven't been in there in a few years.

Might I suggest a discussion on best place to do a fart on campus? The cash desk in the arts cafe at 1pm on a rainy Tuesday in November would be my personal favourite.

parker kent

TunaSaladBB wrote: »

Sneak into any of the girls' jacks to practice your brown magic. Be sure to go at a really busy time and they won't notice you. Also, Quinn used to be a good one but haven't been in there in a few years.

Might I suggest a discussion on best place to do a fart on campus? The cash desk in the arts cafe at 1pm on a rainy Tuesday in November would be my personal favourite.

I took a part time job cleaning in UCD, trust me the girls toilets are not beacons of cleanliness!

craggles

At least 5 of the best locations have not been mentioned yet.

I'm keeping the best two to myself. I'll take them to my grave.

TimeToShine

Share the toiletary wealth, everyone on this thread is 100% devoted to ensuring your dumps are as high quality as possible, and by giving us this privileged knowledge you too can become one of us.

FlutterinBantam

TunaSaladBB wrote: »

Sneak into any of the girls' jacks to practice your brown magic. Be sure to go at a really busy time and they won't notice you. Also, Quinn used to be a good one but haven't been in there in a few years.

Might I suggest a discussion on best place to do a fart on campus? The cash desk in the arts cafe at 1pm on a rainy Tuesday in November would be my personal favourite.

Agreed there Toon, wafted out a sour turnipy queefer there a few months ago.

Sort of ran along the surface of the desk and invaded the nostrils of the bint behind it.

Could see the bint's eyes watering as the whiff became fetid and cloying.


Good times:D

FlutterinBantam

TimeToShine wrote: »

Share the toiletary wealth, everyone on this thread is 100% devoted to ensuring your dumps are as high quality as possible, and by giving us this privileged knowledge you too can become one of us.

Quinn School of Business..some very well appointed shitters congruent with that building.

Nice and solid well heated, perfect place to back out a burnished glistening bolus.


Don't say I didn't tell ya!!

CROP DUSTER

First post yeah

Take the lift to the 2nd floor of the admin building
take a left to the Gents outside the presidents office.

The seat of Power.

TimeToShine

What building is the admin building?? I've never heard of it and I'd rather die than let this fabulous shítting opportunity pass.

**Timbuk2**

TimeToShine wrote: »

What building is the admin building?? I've never heard of it and I'd rather die than let this fabulous shítting opportunity pass.

It's the Tierney building - straight across from the Newman building, even a long bridge/tunnel connects the AB block of the Arts building with the 1st floor of the Tierney building.

jimmyfixit

Admin faces the arts building they are linked by the bridge.

TimeToShine

Ah I see, never fear my fellow students, and in depth report will be delivered within 48 hours critically assessing this new contender for the best place to take a shít on campus.

Ruski

TimeToShine wrote: »

Ah I see, never fear my fellow students, and in depth report will be delivered within 48 hours critically assessing this new contender for the best place to take a shít on campus.

Post pics this time. I'm finding it difficult to see how your reviews could even be valid without photographic evidence.

TimeToShine

Or better still, just bring your laptop in with you so you can turf 'n' surf, then and only then can you get the full effect of one of my reviews!

Ruski

TimeToShine wrote: »

Or better still, just bring your laptop in with you so you can turf 'n' surf, then and only then can you get the full effect of one of my reviews!

Squat n' surf on webcam? You, sir are a genius.

unknown13

CROP DUSTER wrote: »

First post yeah

Take the lift to the 2nd floor of the admin building
take a left to the Gents outside the presidents office.

The seat of Power.

Why on earth would you want to take it the president immediately. Take it to someone much lower than the president first.

Ruski

unknown13 wrote: »

Why on earth would you want to take it the president immediately. Take it to someone much lower than the president first.

Why bother with the rest when you can have the best?

unknown13

Ruski wrote: »

Why bother with the rest when you can have the best?

What if he tells you to fúck off. No, toliet solution and you look like a right fúcking ejit.

Ruski

unknown13 wrote: »

What if he tells you to fúck off. No, toliet solution and you look like a right fúcking ejit.

The worst he can say is no. You can wait until he leaves then come back to the throne. And why exactly would you look like an eejit?

TimeToShine

With great risk comes great reward, and as those of you who are roaming this particular thread are clearly of immeasurable intelligence, I think we all know that the reward on offer here is truly awe-inspiring. Be-gone with your nay-saying, us valiant warriors will fight on. If worst comes to worst I'll take it upon myself personally to study the presidents daily routine and post up a personalised timetable every week ( or daily if he's a frisky one) outlining when you can use The Throne of Power.

Shít on my friends, shít on.

FlutterinBantam

Little tip

A bag or two of 'Bombay Mix' ingested circa 4 hours before the dump will ensure a ripe thick spicy stink in the shitter stall for up to an hour ,without the intervention of aerosol dispersion.


can be difficult to shift.

Bobby42

avoid the gents on level 2 of the james joyce library, disastrous today, be warned!!!

FlutterinBantam

Bobby42 wrote: »

avoid the gents on level 2 of the james joyce library, disastrous today, be warned!!!

Tks. bro.

YouthNovel

I had arrived slightly early for a morning lecture, so decided to have a nice peaceful 'deliverance' in the male toilets outside elements in the science block. It was a bit of a tough passage, but I didn't mind as to my knowledge there was nobody else in the lavatory.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, came a flood (of two) men. Before I knew it in the stalls on either side of me, two gentlemen joined the mornings proceedings swiftly. However, what made me finish up quickly, in more ways than one, was the start of a conversation between the two lads. Apparently they have some sort of shiting club. They gather in the cubicles at the same time to share the joys of excretion; farting loudly without a care, discussions over the consistency, and just general chit chat. How fun! I wanted to join but unfortunately had to leave for the aforementioned lecture.

Do ya think we could all have a 'crap club'. Who knows, a Soc for next year?!

FlutterinBantam

YouthNovel wrote: »

I had arrived slightly early for a morning lecture, so decided to have a nice peaceful 'deliverance' in the male toilets outside elements in the science block. It was a bit of a tough passage, but I didn't mind as to my knowledge there was nobody else in the lavatory.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, came a flood (of two) men. Before I knew it in the stalls on either side of me, two gentlemen joined the mornings proceedings swiftly. However, what made me finish up quickly, in more ways than one, was the start of a conversation between the two lads. Apparently they have some sort of shiting club. They gather in the cubicles at the same time to share the joys of excretion; farting loudly without a care, discussions over the consistency, and just general chit chat. How fun! I wanted to join but unfortunately had to leave for the aforementioned lecture.

Do ya think we could all have a 'crap club'. Who knows, a Soc for next year?!

Great idea pal, I'll check on Feedback see would they be up for a 'Cummunal Shitting' forum.

A load of lads and lassies could line up in the stalls and 'clear their throats' to perhaps, some baroque music.

We could have a winner here.

delta_bravo

http://dublin.craigslist.org/cas/2027001726.html

Found this on Craigslist thread on After Hours so no jokes please!

Ruski

delta_bravo wrote: »

http://dublin.craigslist.org/cas/2027001726.html

Found this on Craigslist thread on After Hours so no jokes please!

That's brilliant!

delta_bravo

I never liked those communal showers. There always seems to be a large congregation of old men in them at all times during the day playing astro and squash and hanging around for ages in the dressing rooms.

RandolphEsq

Shat myself whilst ranting to myself about the flamingoes. Luckily, and I stress 'luckily', I had a spare pair of cacks. The best place to wipe yourself off in case of an accident is the 4th floor of AD.

Avoid library toilets. Found a naked girl on printed out paper last year, dripping in jizz, in my cubicle. Disgusting!

FlutterinBantam

delta_bravo wrote: »

I never liked those communal showers. There always seems to be a large congregation of old men in them at all times during the day playing astro and squash and hanging around for ages in the dressing rooms.

Well observed, went in there one afternoon and saw an aul lad removing a layer of cheese from his bell-end.

Didn't even look up, the dirty auld gimp.