What age to leave kids home alone?

melissahodson

Hi

Can anyone tell me what age they feel its ok to leave children home alone for a few hours?

I was away at the weekend and my hubby left our daughter who is 9, (10 in November) home alone while he went to a neighbours house to watch a football match with our other 2 children! He called twice to make sure she was ok, and she knew not to answer door etc, and she had his num to call him in emergency, but I was livid as feel she is far to young, she still believes in Santa for goodness sake!

Am I over-reacting?

astra2000

No your not overreacting she is too young. Personally I would think 12 depending on the child. 9 is very young.

melissahodson

thanks Astra2000, no laws or guidelines on line anywhere, but my gut reaction was NO, I think 12 - 13 myself too, depending on the child.

mike65

A child is old enough to be left home alone when they are either able to put out the fire they accidently start or know who to call and how to call for help.

silja

Depends on the child and the setting.
A responsible almost ten year old child, with a parent next door at the neighbours, I would think is ok to leave alone for a little bit, if she does not mind. She only has ten yards to go to get her dad after all. It would be different if the dad went into town or it was overnight or whatever. But you know your kids best, and I do realise many ten year old could not be left alone.

m'lady

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/courts/burglar-gets-seven-years-for-abusing-children-1661638.html


A couple of years ago I would have thought it would be ok if the parents were near by etc until the above happened in the area I was living at the time. This seriously frightened the hell out of me because it shows how things easily can happen. I'm not being over dramatic, or trying to scare monger. I have a 9, nearly 10 year old and I would not leave her in our house alone for another couple more years.

So no, op I certainly don't think your over reacting!

mollzer

I always imagine the worst could happen if I were to leave my kids (8 & 9) in the house on their own.

If one of them fell down the stairs? or if a fire were to start would they know what to do?

I have tried to teach my kids about what to do in the case of an emergency but I couldnt live with myself if anything happened because I left them 'home alone' to go next door to watch a match (90 mins) or have a cuppa or go to the shops around the corner etc etc.

I know it does depend on the child too, some kids are more mature than others but they are still kids. I'll be waiting until my eldest is 12/13 before I would leave him home alone.

talkin

9 sounds a bit young id say 11 but it also depends on the child some children (9year olds) would be well capable and others just shouldnt,,ive a partner he's27 n i sometimes dont like leaving him in the kitchen cooking by himself i think ul know by your child! a few hours of responsibilty i suppose

melissahodson

I should have said was not at a neighbour next door but around the corner, so our house not visible from their house which concerned me, too.

thanks for all the comments, I'm glad people think that children should be a lot older if left home alone

melissahodson

m'lady wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/courts/burglar-gets-seven-years-for-abusing-children-1661638.html


A couple of years ago I would have thought it would be ok if the parents were near by etc until the above happened in the area I was living at the time. This seriously frightened the hell out of me because it shows how things easily can happen. I'm not being over dramatic, or trying to scare monger. I have a 9, nearly 10 year old and I would not leave her in our house alone for another couple more years.

So no, op I certainly don't think your over reacting!

OH MY GOD, I am feeling even sicker now after reading that! I was thinking more if she had hurt herself/fire started etc. NEVER again will she be left on her own!!!!

anthonymax

You're not over reacting at all in my opinion. I would leave my ten year old alone while I'm maybe dropping my seven year old to football training or something like that (two mins there and back!),but I would be as livid as you if I were in your situation. I don't think a 9 or 10 year old is mature enough to cope with every eventuality that could easily occur in the home. Isn't there some statistic about most accidents occurring in the home? Don't remember any facts and figures I just know it's quite high,that alone would be enough to scare the bejesus out of me!

Fittle

m'lady wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/courts/burglar-gets-seven-years-for-abusing-children-1661638.html


A couple of years ago I would have thought it would be ok if the parents were near by etc until the above happened in the area I was living at the time. This seriously frightened the hell out of me because it shows how things easily can happen. I'm not being over dramatic, or trying to scare monger. I have a 9, nearly 10 year old and I would not leave her in our house alone for another couple more years.

So no, op I certainly don't think your over reacting!

:eek::eek::eek:

I have left my son alone for 2/3 minutes when I've run to the shop - the door is locked, he has his phone - I ring about 3 times before I return.

But I'll NEVER EVER do it again after reading that article!!!! Not till he's at least 11/or 12....that's horrendous and something you'd never think could happen. My biggest fear for those 2/3 minutes is that he could set the house on fire...though we've no matches or lighters in the house...and he wouldn't know how to turn on the cooker, nor would he even try:rolleyes:

Anyway, yes OP, I'd be annoyed at your hubby too - a match is an hour and a half??? Though your daughter is almost 10...but it's still way too young to be left home along for that length of time.

mymo

I have only recently(last six months) started leaving my 12 yr old alone for short amounts of time, less than an hour, but more often a few mins to the shop. The only reason I'm confident doing it is because I have 2 dogs, that won't let a soul in without permission.
She is well able to use the phone, usually spends the time on skype chatting to her friends, and is very sensible. She isn't allowed to open the door and is allowed a friend in, but they have to be there when I leave and wait for me to come back before going out.
We're in a small town, in terraced houses, and her grandparents live less than 100m away.
I have to say even as sensible and careful as she is, I wouldn't be confident leaving her if it wasn't for the dogs.
I don't think you are over reacting, you know your child.

TheQ47

We've left our 10-y-o home alone when dropping the 7-y-o to brownies/footie training, Etc. She usually doesn't want to come and would kick up more of a fuss about having to leave the computer/TV then the 2-y-o! She knows the rules, which we reiterate every time, "don't answer the phone", "don't answer the door", "don't let anyone except grandparents in", and "don't set the house on fire".

So far, so good!

stovelid

Depends on the child but I would say 10. Hard to say as my children are not that age yet though.

I was left alone at 10 with my younger sister sometimes and nobody died or left traumatized.

silverharp

the way I look at it I could dig out a headline where a kid has been injured/killed becasue, a swimming pool collapsed, hit by a cricket ball etc........ however if everyone was to react to any crazy event that happens somewhere, we'd never let the kids out of our sight, not for 1 second, even when they are asleep.

I have on the odd occasion that I have needed to go down to the shops for something important left junior aged 6 alone. Personally I think its good training. I trust him because he's sensible, in the 6 years I've known him, hes never gone into drawers, put things in sockets etc. and he knows the drill.

However the Op's husband's reason seemed a bid dodgy , leaving kids home to go watch a football match somewhere else or to go to the pub is not responsible

LegacyUser

silverharp wrote: »

the way I look at it I could dig out a headline where a kid has been injured/killed becasue, a swimming pool collapsed, hit by a cricket ball etc........ however if everyone was to react to any crazy event that happens somewhere, we'd never let the kids out of our sight, not for 1 second, even when they are asleep.

I have on the odd occasion that I have needed to go down to the shops for something important left junior aged 6 alone. Personally I think its good training. I trust him because he's sensible, in the 6 years I've known him, hes never gone into drawers, put things in sockets etc. and he knows the drill.

However the Op's husband's reason seemed a bid dodgy , leaving kids home to go watch a football match somewhere else or to go to the pub is not responsible

Just goes to show you can justify anything if you really want to. A 6 year old on his own???

padr81

stovelid wrote: »

Depends on the child but I would say 10. Hard to say as my children are not that age yet though.

I was left alone at 10 with my younger sister sometimes and nobody died or left traumatized.

This is totally different. We grew up in a much different time (im only 28 btw) and where i grew up at age 10 it was ok to leave our front door open all day while no one was home. Times are alot different now. its not the kids behaviour you have to worry about its the behaviour of others.

Its a sad but true fact that my parents and most around the country could let a 5 year old out to play on his own in his own estate with no supervision 15 or so years ago. Not so now.

Added to the fact, theres much more plugged in now, much more that can go on fire. If a house goes on fire, its much harder to smash a window etc..., get someone out etc.. Even the most responsible and calm of kids can struggle under pressure or freak out with a fire.

I'd never leave one of my kids alone until they were at least 12.

Chuchoter

Maybe 11, again depends hugely on the kid. Wouldn't have trusted my brother by himself at 11 for 5 minutes, but yeah 9 is way too young.

robinph

padr81 wrote: »

We grew up in a much different time ...

Did we?

The only thing I'd be certain that has changed is the availability of news media 24hours a day, via multiple methods and that this has made people more nervous. Anyone got any numbers to suggest that there are more house fires caused by children now compared with 30 years ago?

I'd have thought a kid left in front of a telly for an hour was safer now than being sent out to the garden 30 years ago to kick a ball around on their own.

00112984

I wouldn't leave a young child at home alone. In addition to all the reasons given above, I'd be terrified that something would happen to me and nobody would know the child was home alone. Like if I went out and slipped and knocked myelf unconscious or got hit by a bus or even just locked my keys into the car and couldn't get home, I'd be terrified of what a child of 9 or 6 or 5... would do if they suddenly realised they were alone for longer than expected and panicked.

I do believe that kids need to be taught how to be independent but I don't think being left in the house alone is the best way to do it' there's too many variables.

cynder

I was left home alone from the age of 8 and i had a hugh list of choirs to be done.

my lady has just gone 11 and ive left her once or twice in the last 4 months for a few mins. The older she gets the longer i will leave her for.
My boys come with me though (ages 5 and 3). I'll give her a few more years and she can then start minding them for a few mins and as she gets older those mins could turn into hours;).

littlebug

robinph wrote: »

Did we?
.

I think we did. I can only talk from my own experience of course but the key was always in the front door, grandparents were across the road and neighbours were friends so even if we were alone we weren't really. That said, I still have a small scar on my forehead from when my sister stuck scissors into me (age 3)when my parents were out farming :rolleyes:

Like others I would say 11/ 12 ish depending on maturity.

CrazyRabbit

I know some 16 year olds that can't be left alone at home! Within 30 mins, the place would look like a bomb exploded and there would be friends over 'having fun'.

It all depends on the child's maturity and the security of the house. House Alarm/dogs takes take of security.

TheQ47

silverharp wrote: »

I trust him because he's sensible, in the 6 years I've known him, hes never gone into drawers, put things in sockets etc. and he knows the drill.

:eek:The Drill!!! surely not!

Oh...


:P

Dudess

robinph wrote: »

Did we?

The only thing I'd be certain that has changed is the availability of news media 24hours a day, via multiple methods and that this has made people more nervous.

+1. What's actually changed significantly about the world since we were growing up, apart from an increase in paranoia?

padr81

Dudess wrote: »

+1. What's actually changed significantly about the world since we were growing up, apart from an increase in paranoia?

in Ireland, murder rates, robbery rates, rapes etc...

stovelid

padr81 wrote: »

it was ok to leave our front door open all day while no one was home.

Not where I was brought up mate. :pac:

And as such, I don't buy the golden era argument. I don't believe there was any more danger now than there was when I was a child, except a stark increase in the hysterical mediation of threat. Maybe I'm wrong? I have no idea of the robbery, assault and murder rates from then until now, but I'm not sure how they point to an increase in the possibility of child abduction unless you can clarify?

I genuinely don't know myself.

In fact, it would have far better as a kid for me to be able to ring my parents on a mobile at any time if left alone.

silverharp

stovelid wrote: »

Not where I was brought up mate. :pac:

And as such, I don't buy the golden era argument. I don't believe there was any more danger now than there was when I was a child, except a stark increase in the hysterical mediation of threat. Maybe I'm wrong? I have no idea of the robbery, assault and murder rates from then until now, but I'm not sure how they point to an increase in the possibility of child abduction unless you can clarify?

I genuinely don't know myself.

In fact, it would have far better as a kid for me to be able to ring my parents on a mobile at any time if left alone.

people have to remember that there is cultural bias here, the bad side of been linked in to UK ans US group think is that they are both neurotic when it comes to how kids and parents ought to behave. Go to places like Germany and you will notice that kids have more freedom, their parents tend to be neurotic about being cold and even in the summer very few would run around in their bear feet :pac: go to places like Estonia and try complain to a policeman that a kid is locked in a car and you might be done for wasting police time.


there is a lighheared blog on these types of issues called Free range kids , its a nice blog that helps me think outside the box a bit.

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

trustno1

My children are now 11 and 12 and I have been leaving them on their own since last year (last year the most I have left them would have been just under an hour). My parents live across the road and I have a dog that goes metal barking if someone just knocks on the door. I have no qualms about leaving them as they are both very senisble and they both know that they would be seriously punished if they step out of line (I am very fair.. but very strict when needs be). They also cook dinners (when I am there of course) and can both iron and know how to use the washing machine (there are only 3 of us in the house and as I keep telling them I am not their maid!). For me I think its very important that you show your children that you trust them (and you can only hope that they do the right thing!) and also that they have a good knowledge of how to look after themselves for later in life i.e. how to cook, clean etc.. my son can now make a fabulous chocolate cake without me being in the kitchen and he enjoys doing it which is the main thing..

lucy2010

they are far too precious to leave alone .. My sons nearly 9. I remember walking to a neighbours ;gone probably 3 minutes & spent the whole time panicing so it was pointless. Think its when im mature enough too to leave him home alone...

I have a 15 yr old step daughter & I have left her with the younger 2 but no longer than an hour. Shes so sensible & always rings to even tell you they are going out to play.