Funnies

MonkieSocks

My Mum thinks LOL means "Lot's of love"

Got a text message today saying,

"Your Grandad has just died, LOL"

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The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.

‘No way! No needles. I hate needles’ the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.

“I can’t do the gas thing.

The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!”

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.

“No objection,” the patient says.

“‘I’m fine with pills.”

The dentist then returns and says,

“Here’s a Viagra.”

The patient says, “Wow! I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer!”

“It doesn’t” said the dentist,




“but it’s going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.”

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A woman is learning how to golf.

She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad.

She decides to consult a golf pro.

When she sees the golf pro, she explains how bad she is and he tells her to go ahead and hit the ball.

She does. The ball goes about 50 yards into the brush slicing to the right.

The golf pro says to the woman, "I can see that you have a lot of problems.

Your stance is bad, your head is all over the place, and the worst thing is that grip."

When she asks what can be done to fix the situation, he suggests,

"Grab the club gently, as if you were grabbing your husband's "club".

When the feeling is right, go ahead and swing."

She does just that and the ball goes off the tee perfectly straight for about 275 yards.

The golf pro says to the woman,

"That is unbelievable, I didn't think you would do that well.





But now on to your next problem... How are we going to get that golf club out of your mouth?"