Renting from family: Am I paying too much?

didntgotoplan

I have just got my first full time job and now my mother wants me to pay to live with her like someone renting a house share (I normally gave her €75 a week when I was working part time, this pretty much included all the food and bills). It's fine by me, it means I'll be more independent and will be able to get used to the situation if I moved out eventually.

The problem is I've been checking the rent around where I live and the average rent of a room is ranging €300-350 a month for a room of the same size not including bills, where my mom is charging €475 per month including bills for electricity, heating, internet.

One of my friends said my mother is probably basing the rent on the average prices in the city, but we are a bit far from the city centre but are connected to it by regular buses, and thinks it's a bit expensive from her own experience in renting! I haven't a clue if it's expensive or not. I don't really have a say in it, if I don't wish to pay it she told me to move out or live with my dad!

My room is a large double room, I'm allowed to use all the appliances except the dishwasher and have been given my own mini fridge freezer to store food.

highlydebased

If it were me I'd get a place of my own.

djimi

If youre going to pay that kind of money then surely youd be better off moving into your own place away from your parents?

aujopimur

I think you ma is ripping you off.

Roro4Brit

Not paying too much over the odds anyhow considering this includes tv, Internet, heating...those bills do rack up...seems about right actually.

You could just take the leap and move in to your own place, would cost about the same to house share and the freedom will be priceless!!

PS your ma rocks!!!

munstergirl

Is your mum struggling for money or really poor. If so fair enough.

But she sounds like a greedy landlord.

+1 move out.

amdublin

Well considering the €475 is everything (bills etc) it probably is just about okay.

But it sounds a bit like hell to me.

Not allowed use the dishwasher Wtf!!!!!
Mini fridge in your room :eek:

It sounds like a bedsit or something!

Do you want to move out???? If so, I think it is an ideal time....

didntgotoplan

I was going to give it a go a month or two, to save up a deposit for somewhere of my own. I was trying to look somewhere closer to work but it would cost more than what I'm paying already, from what I looked up.

The only good thing as she is my mother, she would give me a bit of leeway if something happened to the job or if I was struggling. I'll have a talk with her about it, maybe try and reduce it.
My brother moved out during the last few weeks, so maybe she is trying to make up for some of the money he used to give her.

didntgotoplan

amdublin wrote: »

Well considering the €475 is everything (bills etc) it probably is just about okay.

But it sounds a bit like hell to me.

Not allowed use the dishwasher Wtf!!!!!
Mini fridge in your room :eek:

It sounds like a bedsit or something!

Do you want to move out???? If so, I think it is an ideal time....

Mini fridge is in the kitchen with my own shelves and space in the freezer, she just wants the other kids to know all my stuff goes in there. Not using the dishwasher doesn't really bother me, washing up liquid seems cheaper!

Do I want to move out? Never thought of it until now. Well, I know something is happening in her work that she is worried, so I'd rather help her out but I think she is being a bit unreasonable about the "no negotiation on the rent" part.

munstergirl

Tell your mum you will give her €50 per week + buy your own food, internet.

Tell her celtic tiger is over + you will follow your brother + she will be down to 0.00.

If you rent + loose your job you will get rent allowance.

Living at home paying nearly €500 a month is robbery.

Wolfe Tone

OP move out.

OS119

munstergirl wrote: »

Living at home paying nearly €500 a month is robbery.

that would be my view - €500pcm is about right for all the costs of a good, near-the centre-of-town, comfortable, houseshare.

€500pcm is way over the odds for living with your mum and little brothers and sisters. in a houseshare you stay up as long as you like, bring round who you like, leave pizza boxes lying about, eat what you like, drink what you like, talk about what you like, sleep with who you like - and never have to answer questions about it. thats not quite what you'll get at home...

the market tells your mum she can charge €x, but she failed to note that in the market that €x will also give you almost total freedom - and if she's like every other mother ever born, thats not what she's offering.

didntgotoplan

Thanks guys.
I'll have a talk with her about the price and see if she goes down. If not, I'll find somewhere else to go.

Cathmandooo

Any chance your mother is putting it aside to give back to you when you want to purchase a house? I've heard of parents doing that.

If not it sounds like she wants you to move out and live in the real world. She's not mollycoddling you. Fair play to her, you're an adult, you should be paying your way.

djimi

didntgotoplan wrote: »

Thanks guys.
I'll have a talk with her about the price and see if she goes down. If not, I'll find somewhere else to go.

You wont regret finding your own place. For that kind of money youll easily get somewhere decent and cover bills. If youre going to be paying anything like that to live at home (even if she drops it quite a bit) then you are better off looking for your own place.

Jagle

similiar situation myself, living at home with parents, they wanted me to pay rent i had no problem helping them out cos god knows they have done more then enough for me, we settled on a 20% of my weekly wage, therefore if im sick and need to take time off work or something they wont be taking all of my money, and if i work alot and earn alot they get more, maybe think of something similiar?

JuliusCaesar

OS119 wrote: »

€500pcm is way over the odds for living with your mum and little brothers and sisters. in a houseshare you stay up as long as you like, bring round who you like, leave pizza boxes lying about, eat what you like, drink what you like, talk about what you like, sleep with who you like - and never have to answer questions about it. thats not quite what you'll get at home...

Is that right???

500 sounds reasonable when you consider size of room + no bills. However, how old are your brothers and sisters? Are they ever disruptive? Do you ever mind them?

Your mother may be worried about money, but she can't ask you for the full commercial rent. It's a family home, not rented accommodation.
I presume you'll be on a relatively small salary seeing it's you first full-time job. I also presume your mother would like to give you a good start in life and allow you to build up some savings.

Talk with her.

didntgotoplan

Jagle wrote: »

similiar situation myself, living at home with parents, they wanted me to pay rent i had no problem helping them out cos god knows they have done more then enough for me, we settled on a 20% of my weekly wage, therefore if im sick and need to take time off work or something they wont be taking all of my money, and if i work alot and earn alot they get more, maybe think of something similiar?

That used to be a similar arrangement, except it was about a third of my wages, I had when I was on part time hours as it could vary in hours. I've heard 25% of gross pay should be going towards rent,generally.

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Is that right???

500 sounds reasonable when you consider size of room + no bills. However, how old are your brothers and sisters? Are they ever disruptive? Do you ever mind them?

Your mother may be worried about money, but she can't ask you for the full commercial rent. It's a family home, not rented accommodation.
I presume you'll be on a relatively small salary seeing it's you first full-time job. I also presume your mother would like to give you a good start in life and allow you to build up some savings.

Talk with her.

The room is pretty big, it can probably fit another double bed in the room comfortably. I'm allowed to come and go as I please and friends are allowed over and do stay at the moment as long as we are quiet enough. She said I won't be asked for anything extra if the bills are more.

The other kids are 14 and 17, so are old enough to not need looking after my me, they pretty much look after each other. They don't really bother me unless it's to tell me they are going somewhere or if we are out of bread/milk/etc, ask me to get some more for them (I used to work in a supermarket so it was easier to buy it at the end of my shift).

It works out nearly 30% of gross pay per month.
I don't believe she wants to get rid of me, I think it's more to learn responsibilities about renting. There is a possibility with this new job of moving to another country if a promotion comes about (this won't be for a long time obviously) so maybe she is trying to get me ready for the real world.

meboloxitis

I think you just answered your own question there op.

You got some great advise here,I would add that you sit down and think long and hard before you make a decision. Sounds like you have it pretty cushy at the mo & if you were to leave the grass may not be as green on the other side!

I bet the money also comes in handy right now for your mom & surely you agree that it's only right you pay your way...

Good luck

TommyT

meboloxitis wrote: »

I bet the money also comes in handy right now for your mom & surely you agree that it's only right you pay your way...

There is paying your way and then there is paying €475 a month to live at home.
OP is your mum subtley telling you to move out?

ebixa82

Your mother just seems to be a really mean and scabby person. Or maybe she doesn't like you for some reason?

Most people are forced to do so for financial reasons. However it makes no sense to have to pay the same as if you had your own place with none of the benefits.

Move out.

D3PO

are we getting the full picture here OP I wonder ?

Your food is paid for right ? I assume your dinner is also cooked for you, your washing is done, ironing etc ?

Maybe Im wrong.

I dont think your mother is "ripping you off" as some are suggesting shes just getting you ready for the real world. I guess the question is however would you rather have the independance or the home comforts.

If you would prefer the independent then move out. If you like the cushy setup of having somebody waiting hand and foot on you then stay home.

ebixa82

Paying to live at home has nothing to do with gaining independence.

What do you learn about the real world if your mother is still cooking food, paying bills and washing your clothes.

By the sounds of it the OP isn't quite ready/mature enough to move out yet. Otherwise they'd be out of there like a shot!

murphym7

ebixa82 wrote: »

Paying to live at home has nothing to do with gaining independence.

What do you learn about the real world if your mother is still cooking food, paying bills and washing your clothes.

By the sounds of it the OP isn't quite ready/mature enough to move out yet. Otherwise they'd be out of there like a shot!

Totally agree with this post - you are learning nothing and you are certainly not being "prepared" for the real world.

Your mum sounds a bit harsh and 475 is way too much to live at home, home cooking and clothes washing considered. I am not sure if you are Male or Female but either way, I don't think your mum would be thrilled to find strange boys/girls walking around the house at 10 am on Sat mornings looking for where the kettle is. This is the freedom you get when you live in a grown up house share.

You need to move out at that price.

faceman

OP the question isnt really what rents are elsewhere. Its your family home. Take into account what you can afford, what you earn and your mother's financial circumstances.

To have a seperate fridge and a ban on a dishwasher, seems a bit mad to me. You're definitely talking about your own family home and not living with someone else's family?

Smcgie

I moved out when I was 16, something I will never regret and something I think should be done with a lot of 18-22year olds. OP It may sound big and scary but you could easily live on €50pw after rent.

Your mother seems to think you won't move, maybe mentioning to her that you don't want to be paying 30% of your salary to her, instead you want to save for your future. If can't agree move.

steve22

you could always try work out what it costs your parents to have you living at home?
a simple quick idea might be to take the average of all the bills, food, mortgage etc and divide by the number in your family. that should give you a rough idea of what each member should contribute to the household... those under 18 are obviously the responsibility of the parents.

Its not a scientific formula but you have to consider all the possible costs rather than basing it on a percentage of your salary... approximately 80% of my salary goes on bills etc :eek:

If youre not happy with the arrangement its probably best to just move out and try it on your own for a while!

Xiney

I got the feeling the OP was paying for his/her own food and cooking it etc, since they have their own fridge and mentioned having full reign on all appliances other than the dishwasher.

cruizer22b

Your mam sounds like a cu@t. No wonder your dad doesnt live there anymore. Go live with him or move out is what id do.

ebixa82

:eek:

cruizer22b wrote: »

Your mam sounds like a cu@t. No wonder your dad doesnt live there anymore. Go live with him or move out is what id do.

The_Conductor

cruizer22b wrote: »

Your mam sounds like a cu@t. No wonder your dad doesnt live there anymore. Go live with him or move out is what id do.

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