How's our driving? (Feedback for the forum)

homerhop

Discodog wrote: »

Where did your quoted phrase come from ?. It is from the Facebook comments ?.

Abusive phone calls are nothing new. I know someone who runs a respected rescue who gets them & loads of abuse on other sites.

Discodog
Its a personal saying I reserve for people who believe they know it all when it comes to certain subjects and dare anyone else question them about it, and since the majority of posts in this forum could come under the umbrella of animal welfare, they see themselves as the pillars of it. Its just a personal oppinion on it

I dont think much of people who resort to such tactics, as you and I have different views on subjects you know I will say what I have to regarding these things to you, as you have spoken your mind to me. Neither of us had to resort to abuse on other websites or have to run for reinforcements and I am sure that we will have a conflict of views again but such is life, we will say our parts and go our ways.

You may say these calls are a common thing but i will repeat my statememt that people who do such things are cowards.

shinikins

For all those who have been hesitant to use the word Bullying, surely now its clear that this is EXACTLY what has been going on? I mean, come on, chasing people from one social platform to another to send abusive messages is the definition of bullying! Liah please do give their names to the Mods, and if you have any suspicion of what person it is tell them. They can check email addresses against FB profiles and easily find out who it is. I for one think they should be held accountable for their behaviour.

Both Liah and Whispered have mentioned leaving the forum for a while over this-please don't!! Apart from not giving in to these people, i love to read what you have to say, and i'm surre many others do too.

@Discodog, i know exactly what you mean about abusive calls, i've had a sad individual silent/abusive calling me every night since January. They've been reported to the Gardai, and i will be prosecuting them. I have my suspicions as to their identity, and the more they call the stronger the case is against them. I've since removed my details from any site i'm registered to, and i have another number that i use for purely private calls.

Hellrazer

Discodog wrote: »

Abusive phone calls are nothing new.

I dont care if theyre new or not.The mods would not tolerate that here.

I know someone who runs a respected rescue who gets them & loads of abuse on other sites.

So in your opinion is this ok?

I dont think so.

I could link to the face book page if I wanted to but Im not going to and as a matter of fact its now turned private so would be useless now since its gone invite only.It wasnt like that a couple of days ago.

I was publically slagged off on that page and there were about 20+ comments agreeing with the users who slagged me off.Some names I recognised/some that I didnt.

liah

While you're here (may have missed my post earlier)-- is it possible to ban people for offences committed outside of boards?

Whispered

So is this one person? the same one slagging both? can you give the name? do you know who they are on the forum. this is a re

homerhop, Any sane person can see that what they are doing is wrong and i'm sure most people involved in animal welfae Would not want to be associated with that type of carry on.

i hope the person responsible can see what they are doing. animal welfare in ireland has enough fighting to do without this type of crap.

Hellrazer

liah wrote: »

While you're here (may have missed my post earlier)-- is it possible to ban people for offences committed outside of boards?

I dont think so.And even if it was I wouldnt give them the pleasure of having something else to give out about.

liah

I'm just kinda hesitant re: posting anything before I know what exactly will come of it.

I mean, think about it: if the person found out I gave the name, and was banned, that could end up with them targeting me with more abuse.

If the person found out I gave the name, and wasn't banned, and everyone here knew who it was, all that would result in is a hassle for the mods, and again.. possibility of more abuse.

So until I know what the deal is I'm not comfortable releasing a name to anyone.. I have no problem PMing it to a mod as long as I know 100% nothing will come of it that will affect me outside of boards.

Hellrazer

Whispered wrote: »

So is this one person?

I have a feeling that it is.

the same one slagging both?

Again I do think it is.

can you give the name?

Nope I think that would be wrong in fairness.

do you know who they are on the forum

I have a fair idea.

Sigma Force

Posts on advice on how to care for a pet that's recently had surgery eg spaying/neutering is fine imo but there are some posts sometimes that really posters should be spending time phoning their vet for advice rather than waiting for answers on here, ok middle of the night posts when you think somethings not right is fine but at the end of the day this is a forum and if anyone suspects their pet esp. delicate smallies like rabbits/guinea pigs/birds etc. is ill they must take the animal to the vet rather than wait here.
Perhaps just a sticky to let people know that they should contact their vet rather and then perhaps post after they have found out.
No.1 rule of smallie ownership is ask the vet first if in doubt, it's better to look like a paranoid animal owner than wait time is of the essence with small animals and birds hours can make a difference between life and death with rabbits/guineas/ small rodents and birds.

If someone shoots but is also interested in posting here then they've every right to, it would be silly to go on about the fact they shoot because 1. this isn't a hunting forum and 2. some people are more sensative when it comes to shooting than others so a bit of respect for users of the forum who are perhaps more into animals wouldn't be any harm. I know hunters that are big into their pets not saying I'm for or against but just don't go on about it on a forum that has to do with pets/animals and discusses welfare etc. it's just asking for someone to go off on one.

shinikins

Just came across this in AH http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056078393 a very interesting topic and one that i have mixed feelings on.
The OP has added at the end of his post

*I would have put this in the pets forum but it doesn't strike me as a place for debate and would be completely one sided.

To me thats a fairly good indication that the average user is scared away by the atmosphere in this forum. I think he's right too, at the moment its not a good place for debate.

Discodog

Hellrazer wrote: »

I dont care if theyre new or not.The mods would not tolerate that here.
So in your opinion is this ok?
I dont think so.
I could link to the face book page if I wanted to but Im not going to and as a matter of fact its now turned private so would be useless now since its gone invite only.It wasnt like that a couple of days ago.
I was publically slagged off on that page and there were about 20+ comments agreeing with the users who slagged me off.Some names I recognised/some that I didnt.

The person that made the threatening phone calls was & still may be a Boards member & they posted in API.

Do you really have to ask if I think that this is OK ?.

You know very well that if I have issues regarding your modding of this forum I don't hide behind some anonymous screen.

I do hope that the future of this forum is not going to be affected by tittle tattle on some other forum or site. Surely we are above that.

Discodog

shinikins wrote: »

Just came across this in AH http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056078393 a very interesting topic and one that i have mixed feelings on.
The OP has added at the end of his post To me thats a fairly good indication that the average user is scared away by the atmosphere in this forum. I think he's right too, at the moment its not a good place for debate.

This issue has been debated & again it hits problems because they are people here who commercially breed dogs & people who would love to see the number of puppies reducing.

It also comes to grief over the term "responsible breeder".

I must ask him, if it's not mentioned in the thread, which side he thinks it would come down on if posted here.

EDIT: I just glanced at it - he would of been better off here !

Discodog

One other thought. We need to sort out the obvious confusion over what goes into the pre mod forum. Right now two thread have appeared that both need urgent advice & appear to have no reason to be pre modded - looks like the OP's just posted there instead of here.

Can the Mods please move threads both ways ie bring these two here so that we do not have the delay of premodding ?.

Three posts in a row - lecturing

Whispered

Have to keep this short as i'm posting from a mobilee and its taking ages. i can't quote but i wanted to respond to shinikins earlier question on bullying : I really Hope i Was very clear how horrible i think it is that some coward feels the need to abuse a poster via other sites. i've also said that as far as i'm concerned that does amount to bullying, however i still maintain that what happens on threads is not bullying and there is a huge difference between the two things.


i think its a good idea to keep in mind that it appears to be one looser who is doing this and this person is certainly not a representative of most of the regular posters here.
if possible it would be nice if we could avoid judging the whole forum on this one person. the majority of posters are sho ked at this.

pleaseee excuse spelling, punctuation and iff my tone is not overly frieNdly it's because i cant read my post back as i usually would. this mobile postinG is a bit of a pain

ISDW

I've been reading this thread for a few days.

I didn't come onto boards for a long, long time because it always seemed such a harsh place. I used to read posts, and these would get discussed on another forum quite regularly, with most people saying they wouldn't come in here because of the language used and the attitude of some posters. However, I think that changed a while ago.

I really don't mean to be harsh, but its only an internet forum, yes its very easy to get too involved in these things but really, its only a small part of people's lives isn't it?

I don't know who's posting on facebook or the other one mentioned, I couldn't find anything when I did a search, but as Hellrazer says, its been made private now. But honestly, do people not talk to their partners, families about stuff on forums anyway, and disagree with other posters and mods? And I'm sure that sometimes the language used is quite choice:eek:

The internet is a great resource, but I think it can also be dangerous - if people let it. I don't know most of the people on here so I don't really care what they think of me. I am not condoning people being rude and aggressive here or on FB and as for phonecalls, they should be dealt with appropriately, by the Gardai, that is overstepping the mark. I allowed myself to be sucked into a forum a couple of years ago, and unfortunately a disagreement escalated, and a lot of people who were friends fell out with each other, and those friendships have never recovered.

I do realise that boards needs new members to survive and grow, but I do also think that people need to remember that its possible to switch off, or just not read posts if you don't want to. The world is made up of people with very differing views and attitudes, so maybe we shouldn't be surprised that people don't always agree with us? I have sometimes posted things if I've been annoyed about something else, or feeling a bit mischievious that I probably shouldn't have:rolleyes:

I have learnt a lot from this place and other forums, and hopefully will continue to do so but if the internet disappeared tomorrow, it wouldn't be the end of my world. So maybe we all need to remember if something really annoys us on here, that its not actually that important, will we remember that post in 10 years time? And if we were actually sat face to face with another poster, would our conversation be very different? I bet it would.

Whispered

I agree with everything you said except this bit

ISDW wrote: »

I really don't mean to be harsh, but its only an internet forum, yes its very easy to get too involved in these things but really, its only a small part of people's lives isn't it?

It should only be a small part of peoples lives but if someone is publically slagging you off it can become an issue for some people. I'm not even going to put phone calls into the same category tbh.

I think the accusation of bullying put into very sharp focus how things can be precieved. Whether we like to think so or not, people are effected by what happens online. Logically we all know we should not - but I think most of us are to an extent. I still say that bullying does not go on in threads. I think if it did the mods would be on it quickly. Even slagging people off in different forums can be expected to an extent. But contacting someone privately and being abusive pulls things to a whole other level.

I 100% agree with you saying that we can just switch off and not read posts. Some things need to change but lately I think things have become over sensitive.

In my opinion - some people from both sides of the debate need to change their posting style and need to take a breath before posting. But I don't think that beyond that there is anything fundamentally wrong with the forum?

(just off a night shift - if this post doesn't make sense let me know and I'll clarify when I wake up)

Discodog

Maybe if we perceive something as bullying or abusive we should say so on thread & give the accused an opportunity of clarifying/apologising.

At least this gives anyone, who doesn't mean it, a chance to redeem themselves. I think the moral is don't suffer in silence which applies to anyone who feels bullied here & elsewhere.

Whispered

Discodog wrote: »

Maybe if we perceive something as bullying or abusive we should say so on thread & give the accused an opportunity of clarifying/apologising.

In an ideal world - but wouldn't that cause a lot of in thread bickering like we've been having lately?

Discodog

Whispered wrote: »

In an ideal world - but wouldn't that cause a lot of in thread bickering like we've been having lately?

Maybe - (avoids the urge to say we already have bickering ). I don't think that many posters set out to lecture or bully & don't see it as such. It might help if they knew that this was how they are being perceived. A little "sorry" can go a long way.

Maybe we need a "hug" smilie !

Whispered

I agree - but I think it might be better for the mods to let them know they caused offense - then let them clarify on thread. Otherwise every second thread will be pulled off topic by posters just waiting for someone to say something that can even border on snappish.

I think it's a good idea - but I don't know how it will effect the flow of conversation. You don't want each thread to end up with one poster having a go at the other over a precieved insult.

Here's a hug :P

seamus

Whispered wrote: »

In an ideal world - but wouldn't that cause a lot of in thread bickering like we've been having lately?

Delivery, delivery, delivery.

"Ah here, cop on, the guy was only asking for advice, who are you to be lecturing him on the rights and wrongs?"

Will result in back-and-forth arguments.

"I think you're being a little harsh here, the guy is doing his best", is the same message with a softer delivery.

Vicious circle though, if people considered the tone of their words before posting, you wouldn't need to tell them they were being harsh

Whispered

seamus wrote: »

Vicious circle though, if people considered the tone of their words before posting, you wouldn't need to tell them they were being harsh

Ah ha - exactly - if people can watch their tone while disagreeing with a post - they can watch it when posting in the first place.

EDIT: Don't you think that if that was to be allowed every thread will end up being turned into a discussion of who said what and what was implied by what sentence, as opposed to what the thread was about in the first place?

Hellrazer

Id like to take a minute to thank everyone that posted on the "labrador breeding" thread.

Ive been watching that thread all day to see if it got nasty and it didnt bar one post that I think could have been worded differently.

It was a pleasure to read a thread that wasnt condescending or critical of the original poster and I really thought it was going to go that way after reading the first post.

That thread in my opinion is exactly how these types of threads should be handled so it seems that some of what we are saying is finally getting through.

Thanks again.

Discodog

I can't see any real difference between that thread & the vast majority of others. The first couple of answers were very to the point & since then everyone has agreed. I wouldn't say that it was lecturing but some could see it that way in that the OP has had a stack of similar advice.

Also no one has disagreed. It might be different if someone posts along the lines of "Let it have a litter of puppies. It is cruel to not let a dog breed" & no I am not suggesting that anyone does it !.

Hellrazer

Discodog wrote: »

I can't see any real difference between that thread & the vast majority of others.

That thread is totally different.The "tone" of peoples replies are like night and day from some of the threads lately.

Also no one has disagreed. It might be different if someone posts along the lines of "Let it have a litter of puppies. It is cruel to not let a dog breed" & no I am not suggesting that anyone does it !.

It doesnt matter whether anyone disagreed or not.I was expecting the usual outburst in a condescending manner instead it was explained to the OP in a friendly non confrontational way the way it should be.

Whispered

Have people changed how they post then or is it that some people who usually post harshly are not posting?

EDIT: Hellrazer - the one post which you think could have been worded differently. Are you going to take action on it, or is there to be an acceptance that occasionally someone might post in a way not everyone agrees with - but thats just the nature of boards? (which is what I think btw, I'm not asking you to take action or anything, I personally don't see it as necessary, but I wanted to know your stance on posts like that now)

Would also like to point out how quickly the thread might have been ruined had someone jumped in to chastise that one post so I'm delighted it was allowed to run its course.

Calhoun

Whispered wrote: »

Have people changed how they post then or is it that some people who usually post harshly are not posting?

EDIT: Hellrazer - the one post which you think could have been worded differently. Are you going to take action on it, or is there to be an acceptance that occasionally someone might post in a way not everyone agrees with - but thats just the nature of boards? (which is what I think btw, I'm not asking you to take action or anything, I personally don't see it as necessary, but I wanted to know your stance on posts like that now)

Would also like to point out how quickly the thread might have been ruined had someone jumped in to chastise that one post so I'm delighted it was allowed to run its course.

What would you like done in general on the forum as you from what i have read you personally believe that there isnt any issue and its all down to perception?

I feel that there has been issues in the way people post the past while and people need to rethink how they post and be mindful of the message they are trying to convey and the tone they are communicating it.

What fear do you have about the change in thought on how people should post?

Health Warning :I may be jumping to conclusions on your thoughts on this but you have been needling at this one for a couple of days. If so my apoligies.

Cherry Blossom

Any new input at all from mods or anyone else on the Secret Santa/ Accounting Finals threads? Anything anyone would do differently/change or add at all? The intention is to provide mods with a full list of posters who can remove anyone they feel they want to. Anyone any issues with me taking part in it myself?:p

Whispered

Calhoun wrote: »

What would you like done in general on the forum as you from what i have read you personally believe that there isnt any issue and its all down to perception?

I feel that there has been issues in the way people post the past while and people need to rethink how they post and be mindful of the message they are trying to convey and the tone they are communicating it.

What fear do you have about the change in thought on how people should post?

Health Warning :I may be jumping to conclusions on your thoughts on this but you have been needling at this one for a couple of days. If so my apoligies.

I think you have me wrong. Here are a few thing I've said on the thread. I'll try to clarify where needed.

Whispered wrote: »

I love the threads where people can disagree and discuss. It can be very interesting. It needs to be kept civil though and often the problem is that it descends into chaos due to one or two posters in the thread who are rude, or misquoting, repeating themselves without listening to other posts etc. And it really only takes one or two people disagreeing in a playground way to ruin a thread.

Whispered wrote: »

something needs to be done about agressive posting

Whispered wrote: »

people need to be careful as to how their opinions are expressed. There is no need for agressive hateful posting from anybody. It's counterproductive and ruins many threads.

Whispered wrote: »

I spend a lot of time in the forum, it has been a great help to me with my cats and my dog. I have made friends through the forum. I genuinely care about what direction it takes. While I agree that agressive off topic posting should not be allowed - I also completly disagree with not being able to give an opinion for fear of being called a bully.

I disagree that a poster feels the right to so belittle another poster - both with condescending posts and assumptions and with hateful language and tone, agressive posting styles and arguements - that posters feel the need to leave the forum.

To clarify that last sentence I mean I disagree that someone should post like that, not that I disagree that it's been happening.

Whispered wrote: »

Everybody recognises that improvements need to be made - that is why this thread is here.

Whispered wrote: »

I would also like to see the mods deal with agression........ Abusing another poster should never be tolerated.

Whispered wrote: »

Like I said earlier in the thread - if people stopped posting in a playground style, there would be fewer problems. People can disagree - it's when you have people spoiling for a fight (on both sides of course) that things get out of hand..

Whispered wrote: »

All we can really hope is that the few posters who go ott can see how it's not really helpful at all. Rude posting, being ignorant or jumping down peoples throats will never achieve anything.

Whispered wrote: »

The problem though is people have different opinions on what is and is not acceptable to post, what delivery is ok and whats not etc.......

People don't come here to be to be insulted. So if someone calls someone names, swears at them or is overly agressive then a warning could be given. So if someone posted saying " FFS you idiot why would you blah blah" thats clearly not going to help.

Whispered wrote: »

Open conversation like that, if done in an inoffensive way, could serve to help everyone understand where the problems are coming from?

Whispered wrote: »

Frankly that is disgusting behaviour and the forum may be better off without that sort of poster?

Whispered wrote: »

.....Don't you think bullying is a very strong word? If people are feeling bullied then thats a really serious issue and needs to be dealt with immediately by the mods. It shouldn't be up for discussion, the "bullies" should be banned. In fact i'm sure boards has a policy about bullying?

I agree again that something needs to be done about certain posting habits - but I would be reluctant to call it bullying as it makes it a very serious issue.

Whispered wrote: »

Nobody should come on here and be subjected to abuse......
In that case I think you should report posts you feel are bullying - and have the bullies weeded out. If it is a fact that people feel consistantly bullied in the forum (as opposed to having someone disagree with them) then it absolutely has to be stopped and as users of the forum we all have an obligation to report such posts as soon as they occur

Whispered wrote: »

This is the heart of the matter - people just need to have a bit of manners and respect for each other. If people spoke to each other as they might face to face I bt the forum would be a nicer place.

Whispered wrote: »

Abuse should not be tolerated. But it's up to us, as posters, to report the posts we feel border on fighting and slagging. .......

Is there a way to keep tabs on a poster? Say for instance; 5 of my posts are reported in a day - do the mods be aware of that? Could you maybe send a PM to the poster in question letting them know they have caused offence in different posts and maybe they should adjust their tone. Further reports like that will lead to a week out or something?

Whispered wrote: »

In my opinion - some people from both sides of the debate need to change their posting style and need to take a breath before posting. But I don't think that beyond that there is anything fundamentally wrong with the forum?

Whispered wrote: »

Have people changed how they post then or is it that some people who usually post harshly are not posting?

That took AGES!!!

So to clarify my own position - I don't think there is anything fundamentally wrong with the forum. I do not think that bullying on threads is a major problem, I'm not saying it doesn't happen sometimes, but as a whole I think most of the regulars are pretty decent people. I can think of more posters whos responses I like to read because they are full of interesting advice, than posters who annoy me with their superior attitude (although there are a few).

In saying all that - tone of posts is obviously a problem, and has been since I started posting here. But I know that almost everyone here is here for the same reasons. As I said above a few times, people need to just be polite. There is no need to be agressive or condescending. If people can't do this themselves, I'd like to see the mods do it.

What I'd like to see done; well I asked above if mods can keep tabs on posts reported as being condescending or agressive, or just generally not nice. If the same poster seems to be causing offense - tell them - and if they don't improve, a break from the forum might help?

I'd like to see people take responsibility for the forum and how it comes across. I personally don't feel a need to change how I post. If someone suggested to me that I do, then I might look at it. I think most other posters would feel the same?

I think the Labrador breeding thread is proof of how that would work. I am interested in knowing if mods feel as if people have change their posting style, or if we have lost some of the more agressive posters.

You're right in saying that I feel there is a problem with perception too though. While the forum has problems, I think lately the problems are being blown to epic proportions.

TL;DR People being nicer and more polite = nicer forum
People getting upset over every post = oversensitive.

Discodog

Whispered wrote: »

While the forum has problems, I think lately the problems are being blown to epic proportions.

Totally agree. How about the mods publish a number of threads reported figure say every week or month ?.