Dental plan!

Riddle101

From an episode today, from the when Homer get's shot in the stomach with a cannon episode.

Homer: I was in the record store listening to records that I never heard before. It was like the store had gone crazy.
(I love this line so much because it shows Homer's ignorance to modern music but that he dosen't understand that, and just blames the store instead classic Homer:D)

Homer: Grand Funk Railroad paved the way for Jefferson Aeroplane who paved the way for Jefferson Starship. The stage was now set for the Alan Parsons Project.

*after Homer launches an inflatable pig*
Roadie: Oh no, mr Frampton is going to be p!ssed.
Peter Frampton: You're damn right i'm p!ssed. I bought that pig from Pink Floyd.

Roadie: Eh anyone here order and orchestra? i'm looking at you Cypress Hill
*looks over at Cypress Hill*
Cypress Hill: Sure we'll give them a try.
*Cue orchestra playing with Cypress Hill dancing*


Peter Frampton: This is just great. Homer Simpsons steals my pig, Cypress Hill steals my orchestra and now Sonic Youth is in my cooler. Get out of there!
Thurston Moore: But you're not going to eat all that water melon, Mr Frampton.

Volvagia

Lisa: [gasps in horror] No, not Brown, Brown..
-end dream-
Lisa: ...Brown, Brown..
Miss Hoover: Lisa, you're saying Brown an awful lot, are you okay?

talla10

Dr Nick; Seriously Baby i can prescribe anything i want!

---

The monorail episode

Marge; We're too late!

Scientist; I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut.

---

Homer; Hmm Tv's out. What do ya know. I think i'll have a beer. No beer either. What are ya gonna do.

Marge; Homer You're taking this very well.

Homer; I'll kill you all!!! Eh...i'll be in the garage.

CMpunked

Homer: Hey Moe, gimme the darts, i wanna play a game.

Moe: No! Games are banned. People end up drinking less when they are having fun.

FTGFOP

WEINSTEIN
Uh, a dog? Isn't that a tad predictable?

EXECUTIVE
In your dreams. We're talking the original dog from hell.

OAKLEY
You mean Cerberus?

EXECUTIVE
(pause) We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly.

KRUSTY
So he's proactive, huh?

EXECUTIVE
Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

MEYER
Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. I'm fired, aren't I?

MEYERS
Oh, yes.

MEYERS
The rest of you writers start thinking up a name for this funky dog; I dunno, something along the line of say... Poochie, only more proactive.

KRUSTY
Yeah!

corblimey

I feel we should rastafy him by... 10 percent or so.

Producer 1: So we asked ourselves, "Who's behind the badge?"
Producer 2: Police ...
Producer 3: Cops ...
Producer 4: "Police Cops."

Homer: Yeah, but why does the Homer Simpson character have to be so stupid?
Producer: Oh, he's not stupid. He's a street-smart fish-out-of-water in a world he never made

the purple tin

Homer: Er, I need another extension on my mortgage payments.

Manager: I understand that Mr. Simpson, but according to our computer,
your credit history is ... not good. It says here that you've been
predeclined for every major credit card. It also says that you
once grabbed a dog by the hind legs and pushed him around like
a vacuum cleaner.

Homer: That was in the third grade!

Manager: Yeah, well, it all goes on your permanent record. I'm sorry,
but if you don't come up with that money by tomorrow, the bank
is going to take your house.

Homer: Well, good luck finding it, because I'm going to take the
numbers off tonight!

Manager: Well, we'll look for the house with no numbers.

Homer: Then I'll take off the numbers on my neighbours house too.

Manager: So, well then we'll look for the house next to the house with
no numbers.

Acacia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbTVyuZaH-s

Musiconomist

Homer: Lingwo, dead?
Lingwo: Lingwo is de......

Reoil

Man: Give her this... [a couple more pills] and this... [a whole pocketful of pills] and then these.
Selma: Mmmm... thank you, doctor.
Man: Oh, I'm not a doctor.

I_smell_fear

"Whats the matter with you kid?! You told me the stream was shallow!"

corblimey

As they come out of the turn, it's Sufferin' Succotash by a neck over Yabba-Dabba-Doo, two lengths back Ooh Ain't I a Stinker and That's All Folks. I Yam What I Yam can see them all, but here comes Don't Have a Cow flying on the outside, and coming down to the wire, it's all Don't Have a Cow!

44leto

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juFZh92MUOY

hardybuck

"He's a foreigner who takes perverted videos of you when you least expect it. He's Rowdy Roddy Peeper..."

Undercover FBI Agent

Milhouse: Remember when you told my dad to go to bed and he did.
Bart: That was some new years.

dj30

Is this episode going on the air live?

No, Homer. Very few cartoons are broadcast live. It's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists.

the purple tin

Smithers: I've got to find a replacement that wont outshine me.
Perhaps if I search the employee evaluations for the word "incompetent" Seven hundred fourteen names!!!
Hmmm, better be more specific. "Lazy, clumsy, dimwitted, and monsterously ugly"
(714 matches). Ah nuts to this I'll just go get Homer Simpson.

eoin1981

Judge: I sentence you to life
Homer: You moron, I'm already alive
Judge: In prison!

Randy Shafter

"My God, we've been hit with an Admiral! Well, if they fire on us then we'll respond in kind." *Captain of submarine starts getting manhandled by two members of crew* "Not me! A torpedo!"

the purple tin

[Homer meeting Burns to play golf]
Homer: Good morning, Mr. Burns. Beautiful day to be outside, isn't it?

Burns: Rant on, Simpson, but your vainglorious boasting will only add savour to my inevitable triumph.

Homer: ......yes.

corblimey

Marge: We can't afford to buy a pony.
Homer: Marge, with today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to buy a pony.

wilkie2006

mikemac1

Sectarianism in Springfield

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k5fHtC1ScM

corblimey

Rabbi Krustofsky: I have no son! (slams door)
Bart: Oh great, we came all this way and it's the wrong guy.
Rabbi Krustofsky: (opens door) I didn't mean that literally! (slams door)

amacachi

Marge you know that batting this lightbulb is the only thing that cheers me up after getting rid of those million dollar greyhounds.

Logical Fallacy

Marge : "Bart, how did you get that cellphone?"
Bart : "Same way you got me, by accident...on a golf course."

the purple tin

Mr. Burns: You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage... When pigs fly!
I]both Burns and Smithers start laughing, until[/I][I] a pig flies by the window[/I

Smithers: Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?

Mr. Burns: Hmm, no I'd still prefer not.

Riddle101

I've seen some posts with songs in them so i'll do my favorite song from the Simpsons.

Well, Mr Burns had done it
The power plant had won it
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile
While Wade Boggs laid unconscious on the bar-room tile
We're talkin' softball.....
From Maine to San Diego
Talkin' softball......
Mattingly and Canseco
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law
We're talking Homer...
Ozzie and the Straw

We're talkin' softball.....
From Maine to San Diego
Talkin' softball.....
Mattingly and Canseco
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law
We're talking Homer...
Ozzie and the Straw

vickers209

3000TH POST!!:)
-Homer
You know, I’ve had a lot of jobs: boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby proofer, trucker, hippy, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carny, mayor, drifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country-western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe, and missionary, but protecting Springfield, that gives me the best feeling of all.

Lapin

The Simpsons ceased to be relavant to anything a long time ago.


Time to bury them.