Dental plan!

Heisenberg1

Rega wrote: »

Homer: Moe I need your advice. See I got this friend. His name is Joey Joe Joe ..... Junior Shabadoo.

Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.

Man runs out of the bar crying.

Barney:HEY, JOEY JOE JOE!

Quality

Heisenberg1

I could'nt resist

Heisenberg1

Lunchlady Doris: Yon meat, 'tis sweet as summer's wafting breeze.

Homer: Can I have some?

Lunchlady Doris: Mine ears are only open to the pleas of those who speak ye olde English.

Homer: Sweet maiden of the spit, grant now my boon, that I might sup on some suckling pig this noon.

Lunchlady Doris: Whatever.

the purple tin

Nelson: My old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give a bear to another old man! Let's get him!

Jimbo: Wait, why are we getting him?

Martin: Look, fellows. The first snapdragon of the season.

Nelson: Nevermind. Let's get him!

Jordan 199

Hi! I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such drivers ed films as 'Alice's Adventures Through The Windshield Glass' and 'The Decapitation Of Larry Leadfoot.'

Riddle101

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

I could'nt resist

I forgot all about this episode

revz

The taxes! The finger thing means the taxes!

SkyBlooo

Susie_Q wrote: »

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No.
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes.
Homer: But the car's okay?
Bart & Lisa: Uh-huh.
Homer: All right then.[/FONT]

Homer: spare my family! Take me, take me!
*zombies approach and tap homers head*
zombies: brains brains! *hollow sound* No brains!

Killinator

Bart: whoa, you shot zombie Flanders!
Homer: he was a zombie?

Nerdkiller1991

"What's your least favourite country? Italy or France?"

harry Bailey esq

Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »

"What's your least favourite country? Italy or France?"

France...

the purple tin

Homer: I'm gonna miss Springfield. This town's been awfully good to us.

Bart: No, it hasn't, Dad. That's why we're leaving.

Homer: Oh, yeah. I]sticks his head out the window[/I SO LONG, STINKTOWN!

Nerdkiller1991

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

France...

"Nobody ever says Italy."

DazMarz

revz wrote: »

The taxes! The finger thing means the taxes!

The Simpsons's version of Father Ted's "F*ckin' hell!"

I love it.



"Homer, on your way out, if you could kill somebody it would help me a lot."

Hank Scorpio; legend.

the purple tin

Marge: Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us. I keep expecting to get the bum's rush.

Hank: We don't have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they wouldn't rush, they'd be allowed to go at their own pace.

the purple tin

Hank: Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bont?

Bont: Scorpio, you're totally mad.

Hank: Heh, I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk.

Bont: So, do you expect me to talk?

Hank: I don't expect anything from you except to die ... and be a very cheap funeral.

orestes

I'm gonna guess that the Scorpio episode was on somewhere tonight?

Heisenberg1

Ticket Taker at Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land: Hello? Itchy & Scratchy Land. Open for business! Who are you to resist it, huh?! C'mon, my last paycheck bounced! My children need wine! (yells in French)

Heisenberg1

Homer: (Standing up for Lisa in the locker room) I don't want anyone to give her a hard time just because she's different: no jokes, no taunting- (spots Üter)
Look, that kid's got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel? (chases Üter, laughing, while whipping a towel at him) Come here, you butterball!

Üter: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!

Steve O

the purple tin wrote: »

Marge: Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us. I keep expecting to get the bum's rush.

Hank: We don't have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they wouldn't rush, they'd be allowed to go at their own pace.

I love the Cyprus creek video in that episode purely due to the bum turning into a postbox.:D

DazMarz

Homer: You know, Maggie, the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word. (Smiles, and turns light off)

Maggie: (takes pacifier from her mouth) Daddy... (returns pacifier and slips off to sleep)

One of the proper "Awwwwwwwwwwwww" moments in The Simpsons, and one that always makes me a little misty-eyed.

Elizabeth Taylor provided the "Daddy" and was paid a reported $1,000,000 for doing so.

wnolan1992

DazMarz wrote: »

Homer: You know, Maggie, the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word. (Smiles, and turns light off)

Maggie: (takes pacifier from her mouth) Daddy... (returns pacifier and slips off to sleep)

One of the proper "Awwwwwwwwwwwww" moments in The Simpsons, and one that always makes me a little misty-eyed.

Elizabeth Taylor provided the "Daddy" and was paid a reported $1,000,000 for doing so.

I love that scene so much.

Another one is:

Homer: You know, son, the day you were born, I received the greatest gift a man could have. As the years went by, your mother and I
were blessed twice more. And not a day goes by that we don't thank God for all three of you.


Granted, that one's followed by:

Marge: [comes home] Homer, I'm not pregnant!
Homer: [gets up, the kids on his lap falling to the floor]
Yeah! Whoa! Excellent, Marge!
Marge: Yes! [exchanges a high five with Homer]

but it really is one of my favourite moments in the series where there's clear genuine emotion brought out.

dasdog

All right, Simpson, let's go over the signals. If I tug the bill of my cap like so, it means the signal is a fake. However, I can take that off by dusting my hands thusly. If I want you to bunt, I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice.

Heisenberg1

Jane: A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia.
Homer: [gets given a leaflet] Hmm. Makes Sense.
Jane: We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
Homer : How much is this free resort weekend?
Glen: It's free.
Homer : And when is this weekend?
Glen: It's this weekend.
Homer : Uh-huh. And how much does it cost?
Glen: Um, it's free.
Homer : I see. And when is it?
Glen: It's this weekend.
Homer : And what are you charging for this free weekend?
Bart: Come on, Dad. The team's arriving.
Homer: [being dragged away by Bart] It's free, right?

Heisenberg1

Groundskeeper Willie: [Homer, Bart and Lisa are tied up in a dark room with only a small dim light on] Oh, you're gonna break like matchsticks, I promise you that.
Ned Flanders: [coming through the door, turns on the big light] Hey, I made some Rice Krispies Squares for our hungry deprogram-erinos.
Groundskeeper Willie: Oh, man! You ruined the atmosphere, you daft pansy!
Ned Flanders: Well, this is my rumpus room.
Groundskeeper Willie: Don't call it that!

IvySlayer

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

Homer: [Pushes in front of a queue] I wanna register to run for sanitation commissioner. And tell the fat cats upstairs things are gonna change in this town.

Clerk: Okay, but this is where you register as a sex offender.

Moe: [Arriving at the back of the queue] Oh, jeez, there's always a line.

Am I the only one who feels a bit sad cos I knew that after this line was said it'd go to a break :pac::pac:

wnolan1992

Grandpa: Let's go! If I'm not back to the Home by nine they declare me legally dead and collect the insurance.

Trebor176

Homer finds a pair of glasses in a toilet and puts them on:

Homer: The sum of the square root of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.

Man (in toilet cubicle): That's a right triangle, you idiot!

Homer: D'oh!

Nerdkiller1991

Heisenberg1

[the Simpsons are in an office with two FBI men letting them know about going to the federal witness protection program]

FBI Man #1: Tell you what, Mr. Simpson, from now on your name is Homer Thompson,at Terror Lake.Let's just practice a bit, hmmmm? So when I say hello Mr. Thompson, you say hi.

Homer: Check!

FBI Man #1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.

[Homer stares blankly]

FBI Man #1: [pause]

FBI Man #1: Now, remember, your name is Homer Thompson.

Homer: I gotcha!

FBI Man #1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.

[again Homer stares blankly]

FBI Man #1: [FBI men stare at each other]

[hours pass by]

FBI Man #1: [frustrated] Argh... Now when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.

Homer: No problem.

[stepping hard on Homer's foot]

FBI Man #1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.

[Homer stares blankly again for a few seconds]

Homer: [whispering to the FBI man next to him] I think he's talking to you.

[FBI man gives up]