Dental plan!

Galway K9

Lyle Lanley: Y'know, a town with money is like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it!

Homer: Heh heh! Mule.
Lyle Lanley: The name's Lanley. Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest... Aw, it's not for you. It's more of a Shelbyville idea.
Mayor Quimby: Now wait just a minute! We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville! Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it!

Galway K9

Apu: I would like to see this money spent on more police officers. I have been shot eight times this year. As a result, I almost missed work.
Chief Wiggum: Cry-baby.

NothingMan

Surely this thread, much like The Simpsons, has started repeating itself?

wnolan1992

NothingMan wrote: »

Surely this thread, much like The Simpsons, has started repeating itself?

DENTAL PLAN!


Sorry what were you saying? :P

"He said he hates his parents, do you know what that means!?"
"What do you think it means?"
"It means he's cured."
"That's what I said."

wnolan1992

Ruth Powers was tried in Springfield Superior Court. The judge dismissed her ex-husband's auto theft charges and forced him to pay all back child support. Mr. Powers blamed the outcome on his lawyer, one Lionel Hutz.

Lionel Hutz, AKA Miguel Sanchez, AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Falk, was paid eight dollars for his thirty-two hours of babysitting. He was glad to get it.

Marge Simpson was charged with a violation of penal code section 618A: Wanton Destruction of Precious Antique Cans. She was ordered to pay fifty cents to replace the cans, and $2000 in punitive damages and mental anguish.

Homer Simpson was remanded to the custody of the United States Army Neurochemical Research Center at Fort Meade, Maryland, for extensive testing.

the purple tin

Mr Burns: I specifically said 'no geeks'.

Milhouse: But my Mom says I'm cool.

qwerty93

Ned: Excuse me neighbour! I couldn't help but notice you picked pretty much all of my flowers!
Homer: Can't make a float without flowers...
Ned: Uh, sure enough, but did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?
Homer: Hehehehe.. yeah.

electrobanana

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a
charm.
Lisa: That’s specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn’t work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It’s just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don’t see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

Marzipan85

Homer: I can't believe my little boy is already going on his first
date.
[sings] Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset...
Cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon...
Yes, we have no bananas...[weeps]
Marge: Oh, that's sweet Homer. Our son is growing up, isn't he.
Homer: No, it's not that. Didn't you hear? They have no bananas!
They have no bananas today...[walks off crying]

Marzipan85

Brazilian Dance Instructor: Here is where we invented the Lambada and the Macarena. Now we are working on our most powerful dance: La Penetrada! It makes sex look like a church.
Marge: I don't think my daughter should be hearing this.
Brazilian Dance Instructor: You cannot protect her forever! You stupid lady!

toastedpickles

Scientists, scientists, please. Looking for some order. Some order, please, with the eyes forward and the hands neatly folded and the paying attention ...

PI IS EXACTLY THREE!

(everyone gasps)

I'm sorry it had to come to that....

krudler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6Hy22HV_-0

Only need to watch this to see the huge difference between the classic episodes and the later ones.

michaelr666

"I am the thing, from uranus" Bart

is it bad that I only got this now??

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

"Dad! You shot the zombie Flanders!"
"He was a zombie...?"

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

NothingMan wrote: »

Surely this thread, much like The Simpsons, has started repeating itself?

Something was said... not good...

Nerdkiller1991

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Something was said... not good...

"Boy, you really are slow."

TheBunk1

Bart: Dad, what are you doing here?
Homer: Reading about this Edison character. They won't let me in the big people library downtown, there was some ...unpleasantness, I can never go back.

Tommay

michaelr666 wrote: »

"I am the thing, from uranus" Bart

is it bad that I only got this now??

Yes.

Nerdkiller1991

Freakin' awesome map of Springfield.

http://adn.blam.be/springfield/

Hockney

Milhouse: ....aaaannd the winner of the Milhouse five-hundred is....


MILHOOOOUUUUUUUSSSSSE!!!!

Dear Lord, protect this rocket house and all those who dwell within the rocket house.

Tommay

Jimbo to Nelson: You kissed a girl? That is so gay!

the purple tin

Moe: [Battering the **** out of a stuffed mammoth with a club] Damn you science! I-Hate-You-Science!
[A tusk falls off and flattens him]
Ooh! Well, I'm paralysed. I just hope medical science can cure me.

Tommay

Don't do what Donny Don't does...

Ugh, they could have made this clearer.

Bart: "What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals."
Homer: "Well maybe if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him."

Riddle101

From two episodes today, MR Burn's casino and Cat Burglar

Casino
Smithers: Don't you think you've gambled enough?
Marge: No.
Smithers: Very well, ma'am. We're required to asked every 72 hours. Enjoy a free round of drinks.

Gerry: Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. Welcome to Mr. Burns' Casino! If there's anything I can do to make your visit more
enjoyable, please: just let me know.
Otto: Er, great. See ya!
Gerry: Uh, don't forget to apply for our V.I.P. Platinum Club for special discounts on
Otto: Hey! I said, bug off!
*Otto punches him in the jaw, and he collapses*

Lisa: Well, I know it sounds absurd. But I dreamed the Boogeyman was after me and he's...
Homer: Ahhh! Boogeyman! You nail all the doors and the windows; I'll go get the gun!
*Homer bursts into Bart's room*
Homer: Bart I don't want to alarm you, but I think there could be a boogeyman or boogeymen in the house.
Bart: Ahhh!

Lisa: I'm not a state, I'm a monster!
Homer: No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

Homeless Guy: Got any spare change?
Grampa: Yeah! And you ain't gettin' it! Everybody wants something for nothing! (Walks into the Social Security Office) I'm old, gimme gimme gimme!

Cat Burglar
Homer: So I said, "Look buddy, your car was upside-down when I got here. And as for your grandmother, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that."

Homer Simpson: Never ever stop in the middle of a hoe-down.

Homer: *reading the newspaper* Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep. I was drunk.

Malloy: Homer, old chap, well done. If anyone was going to catch me, I'm glad it was you.
Homer Simpson: Actually, it wasn't me, it was my dad, Grampa.
Abe Simpson: Thanks, Son. So you see, old people aren't so useless after all. Malloy's old, and he outsmarted the lot of you. And I'm even older and I outsmarted him! Ah ha ha ha -
Moe: Shut up.
Abe Simpson: I've had my moment.

Homer Simpson: So, Mr. Malloy, it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him.
Seymour Skinner: How ironic.

Marge Simpson: Homer, wasn't the whole point to catch the Cat Burglar?
Lisa Simpson: And I still don't have my saxophone.
Homer Simpson: Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back. But we've also expanded into other important areas. Literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination...
Lisa Simpson: World domination?
Homer Simpson: Oh ho, heh, that might be a typo.
*thinks*
Homer Simpson: Mental note: the girl knows too much.

Jimbo Jones: Hey, you're that drunken posse. Wow! Can I join ya?
Homer Simpson: I don't know, can you swing a sack of doorknobs?
Jimbo Jones: Can I!
Homer Simpson: You're in. Here's the sack!
Moe: But you gotta supply your own knobs!

Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
Homer Simpson: Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.
Kent Brockman: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
Homer Simpson: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
Kent Brockman: *pause* Well, touché.

Jimbo Jones: You made me believe in something man. Now I'm going to Law School
Homer: Noooooooooooo!

krudler

^ Two fantastic episodes.

"Are you from the casino?"
"I'm from a casino"
"Good enough!"

DazMarz

Deleted User wrote: »

Bart: "What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals."
Homer: "Well maybe if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him."

Marge: Hmmmmm. Look, Homer. It's that bird you like to argue with!
Homer: Well, well, if it isn't Professor Know-It-All! [cracks knuckles] 'Scuse me!

[later]

Homer: (to bird) It's not enough to 'want' a cracker! You have to earn it!

krudler

Deleted User wrote: »

Bart: "What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals."
Homer: "Well maybe if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him."

is that from a newer episode? I'll be damned a funny line from a recent one.