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Dental plan!

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    #3992
    Tommay
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Tommay


    Chief Wiggum: [reading a tombstone, talks into his "radio"] Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.

    Joe Friday: That's Homer J Simpson, chief. You're reading it upside down.

    Chief Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.

    Joe Friday: Uh, chief, you're talking into your wallet.
    [Chief Wiggum's wallet flips open]


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    #3993
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    ♫ Mein bratwurst has a first name,
    It's F-R-I-T-Z,
    Mein bratwurst has a second name,
    It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N     ♫


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    #3994
    michaelr666
    Registered Users Posts: 129 ✭✭michaelr666


    * homer bangs his head on the church railing *

    DAMN IT!!


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    #3995
    orestes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,972 ✭✭✭orestes


    michaelr666 wrote: »
    * homer bangs his head on the church railing *

    DAMN IT!!

    Homer: All right, pie. I'm going to start doing this...

    *nyom.....nyom.....nyom.......*

    ....and if you get eaten, it's your own fault.

    *nyom.....nyom.....nyom......nyom.....nyom*

    *twats head off oven hood*

    Homer: OW! AH! Oh, my... oh, to hell with it.

    *eats pie*


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    #3996
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Skinny Boy: Lucky for you this was just a warning gator, the next one won't be corked.
    Wiggum PI: I'm looking for my son, hey! have you guys seen him? Caucasian male, between the ages of 6 and 10, thinning hair.
    Big Daddy: Ain't nobody gwine muscle in on my territory. I got interests in this town and I don't mean stamp collecting, although I do find that astremely interesting...

    Skinny Boy: Well that makes two of us.
    Big Daddy: The Chief! I suppose I best to run. lorda mercy I wish I weren't so fat.


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    #3997
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    shaaane wrote: »
    Hapablap: Oh...not the Harrier! We've got a war tomorrow.

    [when a tank runs over the Wright Bros plane]
    Soldier: Oops! Sorry, we don't normally drive these things in the air force.


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    #3998
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 16,720 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


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    #3999
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    the purple tin wrote: »
    [when a tank runs over the Wright Bros plane]
    Soldier: Oops! Sorry, we don't normally drive these things in the air force.

    WIGGUM: "Hey, uh-where's Sideshow Bob and that guy who eats people and takes their faces?"

    GUY: "I'm right here, chief!"

    WIGGUM: "Oh, then where's Sideshow Bob?"

    PRISONER: "He ran off."

    WIGGUM: "Oh great! Well, if anyone asks, uhh...I beat him to death, OK?"

    LOU: "Right."


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    #4000
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1




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    #4001
    Rega
    Registered Users Posts: 759 ✭✭✭Rega


    the purple tin wrote: »
    Skinny Boy: Lucky for you this was just a warning gator, the next one won't be corked.
    Wiggum PI: I'm looking for my son, hey! have you guys seen him? Caucasian male, between the ages of 6 and 10, thinning hair.
    Big Daddy: Ain't nobody gwine muscle in on my territory. I got interests in this town and I don't mean stamp collecting, although I do find that astremely interesting...

    Skinny Boy: Well that makes two of us.
    Big Daddy: The Chief! I suppose I best to run. lorda mercy I wish I weren't so fat.

    Saw that episode today too :D

    Ralph on Big Daddy's shoulders sees Chief Wiggum: Look Big Daddy, there's regular daddy.

    Ralph to Chief Wiggum: When I grow up I want to be just like you.
    Skinner: Better start eating kid!
    Everyone: Ha hahahahahahhahahaha.
    Ralph: I didn't mean it that way!


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    #4002
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Rega wrote: »
    Saw that episode today too :D

    Ralph on Big Daddy's shoulders sees Chief Wiggum: Look Big Daddy, there's regular daddy.

    Just read this and actually burst out laughing in front of my laptop. Ah the Simpsons (seasons 1-10), such simple, innocent yet very intelligent comedy that could never be replicated. Art!
    Forgive me, I may be a tad drunk


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    #4003
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,998 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    shaaane wrote: »
    Just read this and actually burst out laughing in front of my laptop. Ah the Simpsons (seasons 1-10), such simple, innocent yet very intelligent comedy that could never be replicated. Art!
    Forgive me, I may be a tad drunk
    No, you weren't sucking the dirt from under the bleachers. You are very well sober and correct.


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    #4004
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »
    No, you weren't sucking the dirt from under the bleachers. You are very well sober and correct.
    Brilliant!
    Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »
    You are very well sober

    I can assure you that I'm not :D
    Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »
    and correct.

    I can assure you that I am

    Goodnight Springton. There will be no encore! :)


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    #4005
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,998 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    shaaane wrote: »
    Goodnight Springton. There will be no encore! :)


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    #4006
    EuskalHerria
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,273 ✭✭✭EuskalHerria


    Mr. Burns: Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.

    Milhouse: (to his mom and dad) I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.


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    #4007
    omahaid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭omahaid


    Martin Prince: Individually we are weak, like a single twig, but as a bundle we form a mighty faggot.


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    #4008
    homemadecider
    Registered Users Posts: 1,858 ✭✭✭homemadecider


    Principal Skinner: Attention, students, this is Principal Skinner, your principal, with a message from the principal's office. Report immediately for an assembly in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium.


    [to himself] Damn it, I wish we hadn't let the students name that one.


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    #4009
    homemadecider
    Registered Users Posts: 1,858 ✭✭✭homemadecider


    Homer: Okay, little buddy, hop in!



    (Bart steps forward)


    Homer: Ah bah! I mean my little girl buddy.


    Lisa: That's very nice, Dad, but it's wrong for you to reward violent, competitive behavior. However, I will sit up front with you if it's a fatherly gesture of love.


    Homer: Okay, hon.


    (Lisa gets into the car)


    Homer: Sucker! Competitive violence! That's why you're here!


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    #4010
    derfderf
    Registered Users Posts: 1,588 ✭✭✭derfderf


    "Crook!"
    "Thief!"
    "Stolethemoneyfromthechurchcollectionplate!"


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    #4011
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    the one where Homer becomes friends with Flanders was on the other night, love the bit after Ned is caught "hopped up on goofballs" and goes to church, the whispering from the congregation

    "Its him"
    "The fallen one..."


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    #4012
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Mrs Krabappel: Seymour you are selling these childrens futures short.

    Skinner: Oh come on Edna! We both know THESE CHILDREN HAVE NO FUTURE!
    [all the children go quiet and stare at Skinner]
    Skinner: Prove me wrong children, heh heh prove me wrong.


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    #4013
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Flanders: "If it's tangy and yellah, you go juice there fella, it it's dark and brown you're in cider town!"
    Homer's subsconcious: "Awwh, you can stay but I'm getting out of here"
    *brain floats out of Homer's head, he collapses in a heap*


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    #4014
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 16,720 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad! 

    MOM!


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    #4015
    Ideo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,618 ✭✭✭Ideo


    Dónal wrote: »
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad!
    You don't with friends with salad! 

    MOM!

    You don't Make friends with salad?!?!?!


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    #4016
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Episode where Lisa has a crush on Nelson.

    Class: Lisa likes Nelson!
    Milhouse: She does not!
    Class: Milhouse likes Lisa!
    Janey: He does not!
    Class: Janey likes Milhouse!
    Uter: She does not!
    Class: Uter likes Milhouse.
    Teacher: NOBODY likes Milhouse!


    Lisa: I like you, Milhouse, but not in that way. You're more like a big sister.
    Milhouse: No I'm not! Why does everyone keep saying that?!


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    #4017
    artanevilla
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 10,594 Mod ✭✭✭✭artanevilla


    Ideo wrote: »
    You don't Make friends with salad?!?!?!

    Win.


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    #4018
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Children: Hey Lisa, when you grow up are you going to marry a carrot? [all giggle]

    Lisa: [sarcastic] Yes I am. When I grow up I am going to marry a carrot.

    Children: Oh my God-did you hear her-she admitted it-she's going to marry a carrot-I can't believe she really admitted it!

    Ralph: [with distaste] I can't believe I used to go out with you.


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    #4019
    Nephinbeg
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭Nephinbeg


    Marty: We think we know how your mind works, Bart. So how about this: we pay your principal $10,000 to pull down his pants and keep them down for the rest of the school year, ha ha!
    Skinner: I'll do it, Bart.
    Bart: Ermmm...no.
    Bill: OK, OK...what if we use the $10,000 to, er, surgically transform Skinner here into, er...some kind of a lobster-like creature?
    Skinner: Now wait just a minute: that wasn't discussed with me.


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    #4020
    Marzipan85
    Registered Users Posts: 133 ✭✭Marzipan85


    Margo: I killed the squirrels, and possibly their cat; I am not a murderer.

    Oh wait, that was CSI...


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    #4021
    spitfireIRL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 491 ✭✭spitfireIRL


    Mr. Burns [on intercom]: "What? How dare you disturb me during nap time!"

    Woman Inspector: "We're from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. This is a surprise test of worker competence."

    Mr. Burns: "There must be some mistake. We, uhh, we make cookies here. Mr. BurnsOld-Fashioned Good-Time Extra-Chewy-"

    Man Inspector: "Get the axe."


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