Dental plan!

Wompa1

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Chief: "YOU'RE OFF THE CASE MCGARNAGLE!"
McGarnagle: "No, you're off YOUR case, chief."Chief: "What does that even mean?"
Homer: "IT MEANS HE GETS RESULTS YOU STUPID CHIEF!"
Lisa: "Dad, sit down."

Fixed it

Wompa1

Miss Krabopple: You know, I never heard the word embiggens before I moved to Springfield

Miss Hoover: I don't know why, it's a perfectly Cromulent word.

Wompa1

When the teachers go on strike and Miss Krabopple and Skinner are on the stage. There's a scene that's something like the following:

Miss K: But what about the kids?

Crowd cheers and murmurs : Yeah, that's right. The kids!

Skinner: It will mean higher taxes!

Crowd boos and murmurs: That's right. We don't want higher taxes

Miss K: What about the kids future?

Crowd cheers and murmurs : Yeah, that's right. The kids!

Skinner: Gestures his hands making the money gesture

Crowd murmurs : Oh right, The Taxes, I forgot about the taxes

Padkir

Wompa1 wrote: »

When the teachers go on strike and Miss Krabopple and Skinner are on the stage. There's a scene that's something like the following:

Miss K: But what about the kids?

Crowd cheers and murmurs : Yeah, that's right. The kids!

Skinner: It will mean higher taxes!

Crowd boos and murmurs: That's right. We don't want higher taxes

Miss K: What about the kids future?

Crowd cheers and murmurs : Yeah, that's right. The kids!

Skinner: Gestures his hands making the money gesture

Crowd murmurs : Oh right, The Taxes, I forgot about the taxes

The finger thing means the taxes!!

wnolan1992

Wompa1 wrote: »

Fixed it

Thanks Captain Pedantic. :P

Wompa1

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Thanks Captain Pedantic. :P

well, Your off the case makes less sense than you're off your case :pac:

Rega

MOE
Yeah, so last night I was closing up the bar, when some young punk comes in and tries to stick me up.

SIDESHOW MEL
Whatever did you do, Moe?

MOE
Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but I managed to shoot him in the spine. (crowd applaud)
Yeah, I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp! Ha ha!

When homer is obese

Homer: [reading at his computer workstation] "To start, press any key. Well where's the any key? I see Esc, Catarl, and PigUp. There doesn't seem to be any any key!"


When homer is accused of sexual harassment

Homer: "Hello. I am Homer Simpson. Or as some of you wags have dubbed me, Father Goose".

the purple tin

Homer: I'd like to buy your deadliest handgun please.

Clerk: Aisle 6, next to the sympathy cards.

---

[Homer firing the empty gun at the clerk]
Clerk: Hoh! careful there Annie Oakley.

Homer: I don't need to be careful, I gotta gun.

---

Lenny: Assault weapons have gotten a lot of bad press lately, but they're manufactured for a reason: to take out today's modern SUPER animals, such as the flying squirrel, and the electric eel.

---

Homer: [muttering outside Lisas room] Lousy big shot, thinks he's so big cause he's got a lot of guns, if he didn't have any guns I'd show him a thing or two...let's see him walk into my store and then we'll see who's worried about five-day waiting periods...

Lisa: Dad, it's 3:00 AM. Cant you mutter in your room?

Homer: Marge kicked me out.

Lisa: [sighs] All right, go ahead.

Homer: Pushy kids think they can tell me what to do in my house, Why, I tell you, parents these days they don't know how to rear children...

donvito99

"Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions" - Grandpa Simpson

derfderf

There is one more way to kill a man, but it is as intricate and precise as a well played game of chess.

Kilkenny14

the purple tin

Lisa: Congratulations Bart, now you can go back to the 4th grade.

Bart: [dissappointed] Oh...tomorrow they were going to tell us who the dish ran away with.

Lisa: the spoon Bart.

Bart [gasps] Of course!

Galway K9

shaaane wrote: »

When homer is accused of sexual harassment

Homer: "Hello. I am Homer Simpson. Or as some of you wags have dubbed me, Father Goose".

Her [EDIT] sweet [EDIT] can (Clock in background jumps around to different times)

Wise Old Elf

Galway K9 wrote: »

Her [EDIT] sweet [EDIT] can (Clock in background jumps around to different times)

Dramatisation. May not have happened.

wnolan1992

Lou: [facing a giant chess knight piece] Chief, I don't like the looks of that knight.
Chief Wiggum: Don't worry, Lou. We're two spaces away and one to the right.
[the chess knight lands on Chief Wiggum]
Chief Wiggum: I guess it's game, set, match for me.
Lou: I think you mean check and mate, Chief.
Chief Wiggum: I just got crushed by a giant horse, Lou. Can you cut me a little slack?


I LOL'd.

the purple tin

Marge: Homer did you just call everyone chicken?

Homer: No Marge! I swear on this bible.

Marge: Thats not a bible, its an old book of carpet samples.

Homer: Mmmmmm, fuzzy!

Galway K9

BOB: "Soon I will kill you."
SELMA: "Huh?"
BOB: "'Son pied sentit beau.' - french for, 'her foot smells lovely.'"
SELMA: "Oh."
BOB: "Prepare to be murdered."
SELMA: "Huh?"
BOB: "'Hai pa de babe mu' that's...sanskrit for 'Your toes are like perfume.'" (I think Bob made this one up).
SELMA: "Ah."
BOB: "Voy a matar a usted."
SELMA: "Wha?"
BOB: "That's Spanish for 'I'm going to kill you.'"

Sulmac

[Marge puts a six-pack ring in a wastebasket]
Lisa: Mom, Mom! You're mixing polyapolane with polyurethane!
Homer: Marge!

the purple tin

Homer: It is the seventies! Right down to the smallest detail.

Marge: Hey! the bartender even looks like John Travolta.

Travolta: Hmph,yeah...'looks like'.

Sulmac

Homer: That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away. [draws bunny faces on the electrical outlets]
Marge: She's not afraid of bunnies.
Homer: She will be.

Mr Burns: Now if the house catches fire, I want you to call this number.

Marge: Uh-huh, the fire department.

Mr Burns: Yes, they're new but they're good

qwerty93

Thought this was one of the few funnier moments from th realatively new episodes

Marge: [to Homer] Running a bar is a full-time job and you don't even do your full-time job.
Homer: Well, when I'm passionate about something, I see it through to the end. [moves some boxes, discovering a half-finished robot]
Robot: Father, give me legs. [Homer tosses out the robot] Father! [Homer stares it down, and the robot drags himself away on the street on his "arms"]

---

Michael D Not Higgins

qwerty93 wrote: »

Thought this was one of the few funnier moments from th realatively new episodes

Marge: [to Homer] Running a bar is a full-time job and you don't even do your full-time job.
Homer: Well, when I'm passionate about something, I see it through to the end. [moves some boxes, discovering a half-finished robot]
Robot: Father, give me legs. [Homer tosses out the robot] Father! [Homer stares it down, and the robot drags himself away on the street on his "arms"]

---

That episode is 12 years old.

qwerty93

Michael D Not Higgins wrote: »

That episode is 12 years old.

Well I was trying to differentiate between what would be considered as the "old" or "classic" simpsons which was pre season 10 and the drop in quality in the episodes after it

Michael D Not Higgins

I dunno, there are still gems in the later seasons. Another from the same season you quoted was the one where Homer's on medical marijuana. Otto had some great lines in that.

They call 'em fingers, but I never see them 'fing'. Oh, there they go.
Dude, your mom is hot.
Remember when I dropped my keys and you thought the phone was ringing?

Nerdkiller1991

If you should die before you wake...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_YmQOhxogs14/Sh6T7gV__3I/AAAAAAAAFAU/yYXLlpRJcu0/s400/evil_clown_bed.bmp

harry Bailey esq

i don't care if she's miss hairless America!

Kilkenny14

Homer's advice to Lisa's grief with Bleeding Gum's Murphy

Lisa, honey, if you really want to preserve his memory, I recommend getting a tattoo. It preserves the things you love. [pulls up his sleeve]
"Starland Vocal Band"?! They suck!

reap-a-rat

Added extra clap; not college material.