Dental plan!

DazMarz

Homer: (answering phone) Compu-Global-Hyper-Mega-Net, Junior Vice President Homer Simpson speaking. (Listens for a beat; hands phone to Marge, disappointed and bitter) It's Patty!

rustedtrumpet

Marge to homer: Eat my shorts man.
Homer to Marge: Aye carumba!

wnolan1992

Lisa: And Ralph is only eight years old! It says in the Constitution you have to be 35!
Bart: The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the PATRIOT Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.

Nerdkiller1991

"That MacGyver's a genius."

"First of all, he's not a genius. And second, he's not much of an actor."

"You're lying. YOU'RE LYING!"

"No Selma, this is lying. That was a well plotted piece of non-clap trap that didn't want to make me wretch."

spankysue

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly" and replace "dog" with "son"

paddylonglegs

Chowdair?chowdaaaair? It's chowder!

Padkir

paddylonglegs wrote: »

Chowdair?chowdaaaair? It's chowder!

Say it right, Frenchie!

Nerdkiller1991

http://31.media.tumblr.com/610259eb13313c69e7b301c9306bb1a2/tumblr_mr06goCS8J1somw7ho10_r1_500.gif

iDave

Ich bin ein Springfield swap meet patron

paddylonglegs

"Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you, we'll have a duff, duff, uff, uff, uff

Detective Mittens

Homer: Well, there's not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol is sure doing its job.
Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, sweetie.
Lisa: Dad, what if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers.
Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work? Lisa: It doesn't work. It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: I see.
Lisa: But you don't see any tigers around, do you?
Homer: Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock.

Galway K9

Homer and Wiggum are making breakfast on wiggums car's engine.
Wiggum: Mmm, engine-block eggs. If we can keep these down, we'll be sitting pretty.
I]Marge and Ruth whiz by[/I
Homer: That's them!
Wiggum: Quiet! I can't hear the eggs.

Killinator

Bart:
"Homer there were things in that letter that needed to be said, AND I KNOW YOU,
Just because you were mad last night was no guarantee you'd be mad this morning!"

Homer:
"I'LL SHOW YOU MAD IN THE MORNING!!!.......(proceeds to strangle Bart)

Burlap_Sack

"Super fun happy slide"

RobbingBandit

Malibu Stacey: Don't ask me I'm just a girl.

Video Narrator: She sure is!

Burlap_Sack

My spider sense is tingling

Nerdkiller1991

"Don't ask me. I'm just a girl. Ha-haa! Ha-haa!"

Killinator

Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »

"Don't ask me. I'm just a girl. Ha-haa! Ha-haa!"

'I just told who I was and who you were'

'really?'

'well, I didn't tell them who you were'

paddylonglegs

Ahoy,ahoy?

Nerdkiller1991

paddylonglegs wrote: »

Ahoy, hoy?

"*speaking through kazoo* Hello, Mr. Burns. This is the kidnapper. Do you miss your son?"

"Yes, I'm missing one son. Return it immediately!"

"If you really love Larry, prove it, and you can have him back today."

"Oh, how much proof do you need? 5,000? 6,000? I swear, that's all I've got."

"Don't you care about your son? This is more important than money."

"More important than money? Who is this?"

"Uh...just a second. *hangs up*"

Burlap_Sack

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.

Nerdkiller1991

"Rats! I almost had him eating dog food."

paddylonglegs

Burlap_Sack wrote: »

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.

I wish I had 100 lthanks buttons for that comment alone. Favourite line ever

Heisenberg1

Mrs. Bouvier: I swear, Monty, you are the devil himself.

Mr. Burns: I...Who told you?! ...Oh, ah, yes.

Heisenberg1

Mr. Burns: Bravissimo, Luigi! Bring us your finest bottle of vino!

Luigi: Hey, you trust-ah Luigi, huh? He knows-ah what for to make-ah really nice the amore.

Jackie: Oh, Monty, I've never been to a more romantic restaurant.

Luigi: (Entering kitchen) Hey, Salvatore! Break out the cheap hooch for Mr.

No-Tip and the dried-up-ah zombie he's-ah captured!

Heisenberg1

Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose. Hop in.

Smithers: But sure I

(Burns pulls out a gun)

Mr. Burns: I said hop in.

Burlap_Sack

(In a hospital room, man wakes from 23 year coma) Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?

BROCKMAN
No, she won an Oscar, and he's a congressman.

MAN
Good night! (he dies)

Padkir

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose. Hop in.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqxgx0jwG71qcu04vo1_500.png

(for some reason the attach image button seems to have disappeared...)

Burlap_Sack

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No.
[buzz]
Moe: All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him.
[ding]
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir. You're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight.
[buzz]
Moe: A date.
[buzz]
Moe: Dinner with friends.
[buzz]
Moe: Dinner alone.
[buzz]
Moe: Watching TV alone.
[buzz]
Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.
[buzz]
Moe: Sears catalog.
[ding]
Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment.
[buzz]

Simply Red

Saxamaphone, saxamaphone