Dental plan!

Welsh Megaman

Always loved the way Homer unknowingly turns the confrontation with Groundskeeper Willy in his favour, when he and Bart steal his 'retirement grease'.

Willy: Eek! I mean...aach! What you doin'?

Homer: Er...we're, er...new foreign exchange students from, er...um...Scotland!

Willy: Saints be praised...I'm from Scotland! Where ye hail from?

Homer: Er...North...Kilt...Town.

Willy: No foolin'...I'm from North Kilt Town! D'ya know Angus McCloud?

Homer: (suspiciously) wait a minute...there's no Angus McCloud in North Kilt Town! Why, you're not from Scotland at all!

KeithM89

"Which famous Simpsons characters have passed away in the last season?

If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy and Marvin Monroe, You are wrong, They were never popular."

Sunglasses Ron

Keith wrote: »

"Which famous Simpsons characters have passed away in the last season?

If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy and Marvin Monroe, You are wrong, They were never popular."

NRA4EVR! Just one of dozens of right wing messages Matt Groening slips into every episode!

RainyDay

From the episode with Stampy the elephant

BART: Dad, how would you like it if you were sold to an ivory dealer?
HOMER: I'd like it fine.
BART: Even if they killed you and made your teeth into piano keys?
HOMER: Of course. Who wouldn't like that, being part of the music scene?

paddylonglegs

Lisa: a rose by another name would not smell as sweet
Homer: not if they were called stench blossoms
Marge: Id sure hate to get a bunch of stench blossoms, I'd much prefer candy
Homer: not if they were called scum drops

Rega

Tourguy: Hey folks do you like riddles? Oookay then. How many geniuses does it take to invent a lightbulb? Just one... Thomas Edison.

Crowd: (Laughs and Applauds him) It's true too, funny and true.

Burlap_Sack

Bumblebee Man: Ay yi yi! Es Homer Simpson! Me ha molestado!
Homer{talking to himself}: Oh, I like it better when they're making fun of people who aren't me.

Sunglasses Ron

Burlap_Sack wrote: »

Bumblebee Man: Ay yi yi! Es Homer Simpson! Me ha molestado!
Homer{talking to himself}: Oh, I like it better when they're making fun of people who aren't me.

Ooh, I'd sure hate to be Mr T right now!

Tommay

Homer: What's the problem, boy?
Bart: I busted my hump all week and all I got was 50 cents.
Homer: When I was your age, 50 cents was a lot of money.
Bart: Really?
Homer: Nah.


Bart: I did everything I could and I've only got 35 bucks. I'm done working. Working's for chumps.
Homer: I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out.

Gamayun

Lisa: Dad, wake up. I think a hurricane is coming!
Homer: Oh Lisa, there's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield.
Lisa: Yes, but the records only go back to 1978 when the hall of records was mysteriously blown away.

paddylonglegs

Grampa Simpson: (takes out false teeth and puts in burger bun) ever see a sandwich that can take a bite out of you?

Krusty burger customer: ow, damn sandwich took a bite out of me!

toastedpickles

Don't worry you won't feel a thing....till I jam this down your throat!

paddylonglegs

Dr hibbert: is the alien carbon based or silicone based?

Homer: eh, the second one; xylophone

Tommay

Lisa: It could be a mutant from the power plant.
Mr. Burns: That's preposterous, everyone knows our mutants have flippers oops, I've said too much. Smithers, get the amnesia ray.
Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr. Burns: Yes, and be sure to wipe your mind clear when you're done as well.

michaelr666

Bart: Whacking Day is a sham. It was originally conceived in 1922 as an excuse to beat up on the Irish.
Old Irishman: 'Tis true. I took many a lump, but 'twas all in good fun.

Sunglasses Ron

Tommay wrote: »

Lisa: It could be a mutant from the power plant.
Mr. Burns: That's preposterous, everyone knows our mutants have flippers oops, I've said too much. Smithers, get the amnesia ray.
Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr. Burns: Yes, and be sure to wipe your mind clear when you're done as well.

I call it the Spruce Moose! And it will carry 200 passengers from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in seventeen minutes!

Burns going slowly mad was hilarious :pac:

Tommay

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

I call it the Spruce Moose! And it will carry 200 passengers from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in seventeen minutes!

Burns going slowly mad was hilarious :pac:

Great episode that was.

eoin1981

Groundskeeper Willie: I have some information for you. But it's going to be hard to hear.

Bart: Because of your stupid accent?

Groundskeeper Willie: Nay!!! Because of it's upsetting nature

michaelr666

Will I ever see you again?

Sure baby, next meltdown.

Tommay

Homer: Stupid carbon rod. It's all just a popularity contest!
Bart: Wow! Did you actually get to see the rod?

KungPao

Tommay wrote: »

Homer: Stupid carbon rod. It's all just a popularity contest!
Bart: Wow! Did you actually get to see the rod?

In Rod we trust!

Omackeral

Tommay wrote: »

Homer: Stupid carbon rod. It's all just a popularity contest!
Bart: Wow! Did you actually get to see the rod?

Inanimate eh? I'll show him inanimate!!! :mad:

Nerdkiller1991

Omackeral wrote: »

Inanimate eh? I'll show him inanimate!!! :mad:

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lbbutnRf4w1qdoghio1_500.png

longhalloween

Disco Stu trying to sell his franchise: “Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continue….Ayyy!”.

Homer: Those fish in your shoes are dead.

Stu: I know, I...uhh... can't get them out of there.


Frink: ‘Oh my great good God! Gentlemen, your attention please. I am detecting a gigiantic amphibious life-form, it’s 80 meters long and it’s heading this way. Oh good glayven it’s on my shoe. It’s a small frog, just get off, just get off there, just get out of it, get out of it. Stupid machine, oh wait a minute, this isn’t the Monsterometer, it’s the Frog-Exaggerator Mm-hai.’

paddylonglegs

Moe: Trouble in paradise, heh, heh, heh

Nerdkiller1991

michaelr666

Doug: Hi. A question for Miss Bellamy. In episode 2F09 when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is some sort of a magic xylophone or something? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

June Bellamy: Uh, well..

Homer: Ill field this one, Let me ask you a question. Why would a man whose shirt says "Genius at Work" spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show?

Doug: (pauses) I withdraw my question.

Tommay

Marge: So you kids really love the leader huh, even more than your parents?
Bart and Lisa: Ofcourse Absolutely, no contest...
Marge: Alright already, but do you love the leader more than having your very own brand new hoverbikes? [Hoverbikes appear]
Bart and Lisa: [Gasp]
Marge: What do you have to say about the leader now?
Bart and Lisa: The hell with him, what leader...
Marge: And who do you love now?
Bart and Lisa: Hoverbikes!
Marge: Err, close enough.

andyman

UH OH, SPAGHETTIOS

Galway K9

Its either Rex banner Beer baron episode or the scorpio episode that would win the best episode ever.

Dateline: Springfield. The elusive beer baron continues to thumb his nose at the authorities. Swaggering about in a garish new hat, he seemed to say, "Look at me, Rex Banner! I have a new hat!"

Reporter [to Rex Banner]: What about the beer baron?
Rex Banner: I suspect he was just a figment of the media. The idea that someone like that could operate under my very nose is laughable. (tries to laugh, chokes and coughs instead) Well, you all know what laughter sounds like