Dental plan!

Omackeral

At a local bird-watching society. Principal Skinner leads the discussion.

SKINNER:
Now, uh, people. There's been some confusion about our bird sighting rules. You cannot count birds that you've seen at the zoo, on stamps, or in dreams.

MOE:
Well, I'm back to square one.

---

SKINNER: (Referring to the lizards Bart found)
It's already wiped out the Dodo, the Cuckoo, and the Ne-Ne, and it has nasty plans for the Booby, the Titmouse, the Woodcock, and the Titpecker.

MARGE:
How vile!

JP85

You'll have to speak up, im wearing a towel

Riddle101

So apparently even Matt Greoning thinks The Simpsons should have ended a long time ago.

http://www.supajam.com/news/story/Simpsons-creator-Matt-Groening-The-show-should-have-ended-years-ago-I-watch-Breaking-Bad-instead

Nerdkiller1991

Riddle101 wrote: »

So apparently even Matt Greoning thinks The Simpsons should have ended a long time ago.

http://www.supajam.com/news/story/Simpsons-creator-Matt-Groening-The-show-should-have-ended-years-ago-I-watch-Breaking-Bad-instead

Preeeeety certain that's a fake.

Orim

Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »

Preeeeety certain that's a fake.

It says it's fake. Also one of the highest rated episodes on imdb is in season 20 or so.

Sunglasses Ron

IRS Agent: Krusty, this is America. We don't send our celebrities to jail. We're just going to garnish your salary.

Krusty the Clown: Garnish my celery?

IRS Agent: Please, Krusty, no jokes! :pac:


"Ugh, my Granpa Zeb would be turning in his grave, if it wasn't filled with some veteran!"

Eutow

They call me mellow yellow, quite rightly. This fellow never bellows, quite rightly.

Nerdkiller1991

I'm honestly surprised people haven't posted this yet.

RobbingBandit

Bet the intro is better than the episode itself.

sparkthatbled

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Bet the intro is better than the episode itself.

It was! Worst treehouse episode ever, and not even by a little.



Back to classic quotes, one of my favourites from Homer in 'Blood Feud':

"Alright, here's the plan. You take the kids and move in with your sisters and I'll... go die in a gutter somewhere. It's practical and within our means."

paddylonglegs

Barneys movie had heart. But Football in the groin had a football in the groin

Nerdkiller1991

sparkthatbled wrote: »

It was! Worst treehouse episode ever, and not even by a little.

NO!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treehouse_of_Horror_XXII

The Diving Bell and the Butterball

Homer begins to decorate the house for Halloween and is reaching for a decorations in a box. Unfortunately, there is a real Black Widow spider in the box and when Homer is grabbing for what he thinks is a plastic spider, he gets bitten by the real one. The bite leaves Homer unable to move or talk. When Lisa reads for him, she discovers that he can communicate through flatulence. The Simpson family is amazed at the result and Lisa helps Homer tell Marge how he feels about her. When he is again bitten by another spider (a radioactive one), he spontaneously gains the ability to make spider webs and have the same abilities as Spider-Man, even when still paralyzed. Homer is able to shoot spider webs out of his rear end.

Dial D for Diddly

After hearing who he thinks is God tell him to murder people, Ned Flanders becomes a serial killing vigilante, targeting characters who are Homer's enemies. When Flanders discovers that Homer is the one who has been duping him into committing murder (by way of a Bible-shaped receiver), Homer argues that God does not exist and starts burning Ned's bible only to be stopped and strangled to death by God Himself. Marge begs God to reverse everything that has happened, but God tells her that Satan is the one who is running the world. When Flanders thinks that this scenario cannot get any worse, it is revealed that Satan is having sex with Ned's deceased wife, Maude.

In the Na'Vi

In the future, Krusty the Clown is still alive, but has trouble entertaining his Nazi audience. On the distant planet Rigel Seven there is a sacred extract called Hilarrium, which causes people to get in a better mood. Krusty desperately needs this sacred extract and uses military force to obtain it. The military recruits Bart and Milhouse to befriend the alien race in avatar bodies. They succeed in this and Bart ends up getting Kang's daughter pregnant. It turns out that the extract Hilarrium, which is excreted by their queen, is primarily used by the natives to reduce the mood swings from pregnant women and Bart and Milhouse are shown where the alien race gets it from. Milhouse then reveals the location of the extract to the military, which then attacks the natives. In the battle, the natives are helped by all the animals of the planet, which eventually defeats the military. Kang and Kodos then admit that they would have just given the Hilarrium to the humans.

Look. If you're actually having a reflexive look at a new THOH episode and immediately declare it the worst, why don't you actually look back to a couple of years ago. Now that was terrible. This year's was actually decent.

Orim

I know there is an arguments about nostalgia being a factor in not liking new episodes but the above just sounds plain awful.

Homer: AHHH! They're dogs...and they're PLAYING POKER! AHHH! Wuhahahahh

Homer: Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas today...
[starts crying]
Marge: Oh, there there Homer, our little boy is growing up
Homer: No, it's not that Marge; didn't you hear? They have no bananas - they
have no bananas today [sobs]

Moneymaker

Lisa: I believe you are required to provide a vegetarian option for students?
Lunchlady Doris: (removes the hot dog from a bun) Rich in bunly goodness.
Lisa: Do you remember when you lost your passion for this job?
Doris: (Looks around and presses a button labelled "Independent Thought Alarm)
*A warning light appears in Skinners office
Skinner: That's two Independent Thought Alarms in one day, the students are becoming overstimulated. Willie, remove all coloured chalk from the classrooms.
Willie: I WARNED YA! THAT STUFF WAS FORGED BY LUCIFER HIMSELF!

pajor

Marge: I'm sorry Mr. Blackbeard, we're low on chairs and this is the last one.

Blackbeard: Arrgghh.. This chair be high, says I!




Still cracks me up

Heisenberg1

Principal Skinner: Pull, Willie!
Groundskeeper Willie: I'm doin' all the pullin', you blouse-wearing poodle-walker!

Groundskeeper Willie....

Bonjourno you cheese eatin surrender monkeys!

Galway K9

Saw this in another forum, reminded me of a great line from it.



Marge: Homer, women wont like being shot in the face
Homer: Women will like what i tell 'em to like.

Galway K9

Or a classic quote from a recent rerun on sky.

(Burns trains barts' dog santaslittlehelper to be an attack dog)

Burns: How would you feel if i started sniffing your crotch and slobbering all over your face?
Smithers: If you did it, sir?

DazMarz

It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling...

Boys! Knock it off!!!

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrs240QLXC1qh59n0o1_500.gif

Galway K9

No one's gay for moleman!!!

iDave

A PIRATE! That's not the image we want for Long John Silvers

Nerdkiller1991

gregers85

Homer: All right, Brain, it's all up to you. If you don't think of what
it is, we'll lose Marge forever.

Brain: Eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding
eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding

Homer: OK. But then we gotta get to work.

paddylonglegs

900 dollary-do's???!!!

wnolan1992

paddylonglegs wrote: »

900 dollary-do's???!!!

"TOBIAS! DID YOU ACCEPT A SIX HOUR COLLECT CALL TO THE STATES?"
"It was an emergency call from the Drainage Commission in Springfield."
"Oh my god! There's nothing wrong with the bidet is there?"

McChubbin

Mr. Burns:
That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! There is a poison one, isn't there, Smithers?

Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.

Mr. Burns: Damn their oily hides!

Sunglasses Ron

"Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?"


Burns: She has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career
criminal.

Smithers: Uh, Sir? Phrenology was dismissed as quackery 160 years ago.

Burns: Of course you'd say that...you have the brainpan of a
stagecoach tilter!

Burt Macklin

Anything with Kang and Kodos is gold

Kodos: "I am Clin-Ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal commands. End communication."

Marge: "That's Slick Willy for you, always with the smooth talk."

Padkir

From the pretzel wagon episode:

Wherever nacho penetration is less than total, you'll be there...

Open your bag of ingredients. Check for... ugh ... millipedes ...ugh!!

RobbingBandit

Homer: Guys, I'm sorry I got you expelled.

Benjamin: Don't worry, Mr. Simpson. We can take care of ourselves.

[the nerds take two steps, and Snake jumps out of the bushes]

Snake: Uh, wallet inspector.

Carl: Okay. Here you go. I believe that's all in order.

all nerds hand him their wallets

Snake: Oh, I can't believe that worked!

Homer: Wait a minute. That's not the wallet inspector...