Dental plan!

Chancer3001

I'm so sick of everyone assuming I'm good at basketball because I'm African American.




That's a foul. I'm taking my ball and I'm going home.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Come stand by the toilet, I want to yell at you some more.

DrGreenthumb

http://i0.wp.com/tstotips.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Artists-and-the-Value-of-Learning-to-Market-Yourself..jpg

Orim

Dr. Foster: (on phone) Yes, Dr. Foster here. … Ned Flanders? You're sure? … No, no, no, I'll come right over. And may God have mercy on us all. (hangs up) Darling, there's an emergency at the hospital, uh, where are my shoes?
Mrs. Foster: I think they're in the den.
Dr. Foster: The den? May God have mercy on us all.

FarmerBrowne

Ruth Powers: They're so sweet when you marry them, but soon it's just career, career, career.
Homer: [outside, scolding Santas Little Helper] <My> hammock. Do you understand? Mine! ... Don't look that way

Wotsername

Homer- You can't keep blaming yourself Marge, Just Blame yourself once and move on.

dr.fuzzenstein

Orim wrote: »

Dr. Foster: (on phone) Yes, Dr. Foster here. … Ned Flanders? You're sure? … No, no, no, I'll come right over. And may God have mercy on us all. (hangs up) Darling, there's an emergency at the hospital, uh, where are my shoes?
Mrs. Foster: I think they're in the den.
Dr. Foster: The den? May God have mercy on us all.

Ooh, kicking and screaming, please.

Gannicus

Hellooooooooooo........ Mrs. Pummelhorse..... I'd like to get down now.

krudler

Big Steve wrote: »

Hellooooooooooo........ Mrs. Pummelhorse..... I'd like to get down now.

I've had it with this school, low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children!

peejay1986

Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!

Noccy_Mondy

Grampa: Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly, if a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!

*****************************

Homer: Oh, but Marge! Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life sweating like a pig?

Bart: Yeah, not to mention lookin' like a pig, eatin' like a pig...

Apu: [from the front window] Don't forget the smell!

Homer: Will you get off my front lawn?

Apu: Why don't you come and make me?

Homer: Why? Oh, I give up.

McChubbin

"Can I borrow a feeling?/ Can you lend me a jar of love?/ Hurtin' hearts need some heelin'/ Take my hand with your glove of love!"

pajor

Aggghh! It's the rapture! Quick, get Bart out of the house before God comes!

paddylonglegs

McChubbin wrote: »

"Can I borrow a feeling?/ Can you lend me a jar of love?/ Hurtin' hearts need some heelin'/ Take my hand with your glove of love!"

Can Iv the keys to your car lover? I need to change wigs

Gannicus

Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly" and replace "dog" with "son".

Conall Cernach

McChubbin wrote: »

"Can I borrow a feeling?/ Can you lend me a jar of love?/ Hurtin' hearts need some heelin'/ Take my hand with your glove of love!"

Hahahaha! "Can I Borrow A Feeling"! Hahahaha! That's your picture on the front!

iDave

Conall Cernach wrote: »

Hahahaha! "Can I Borrow A Feeling"! Hahahaha! That's your picture on the front!

How about it Luann will you marry me...again?

Eww no!

ivytwine

Conall Cernach wrote: »

Hahahaha! "Can I Borrow A Feeling"! Hahahaha! That's your picture on the front!

Go ahead Homer, laugh at me.

.... I already did?

pajor

iDave wrote: »

How about it Luann will you marry me...again?

Eww no!

Well... Uh, can I have my shirts back, at least?

Crazy Vaclav: She’ll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene

Homer: What country is this car from?

Crazy Vaclav: It no longer exists, but take her for a test drive and you’ll agree… zagreb evrem zlotyk dyev!!

PUT IT IN H!!!

homemadecider

I'll get you, Beer Baron!

No you won't...

iDave

homemadecider wrote: »

I'll get you, Beer Baron!

No you won't...

Yes I will

HalloweenJack

Grampa: I thought I recognised you. I gave you a plate of corn muffins back in 1947 to paint my chicken coop. And you never did it.
Chester: Those corn muffins were lousy.
Grampa: Paint my chicken coop!
Chester: Make me!
(Grampa jumps across the table and they start fighting)
Marge: That does it! One of them has to go.
Homer: Okay, Grampa.
Marge: No, the B-U-M.

Later, in court:
Lawyer: Krusty, have you ever seen this so-called animation genius before?
Krusty: Yes, I have.
Lawyer: You have?
Krusty: I gave him a couple of blintzes to paint my fence, but he never did it!
Chester: Those blintzes were terrible.
Krusty: Paint my fence!
Chester: Make me!
Krusty (jumps across table and starts fighting): You give me back those blintzes!
Judge: Order, order. We don't care about your blintzes.

RobbingBandit

Homer: "Stealing, Stealing, Stealing a car for Moe, nah,nah,nah,nah,nah,nah,nah,nah, insurance fraud today."

haro124

Lisa: Impaled by my Nobel Peace Prize, how ironic

wnolan1992

iDave wrote: »

Yes I will

...won't...

OntheStrings

Grampa: Look at them sideburns, he looks like a girl.
Now, Johnny Unitas, there's a haircut you could set your watch to!

Noccy_Mondy

Homer: Come on! Give us some candy! Don't pretend you're not home.
Lisa: Dad, that's our house.
[Crowd Laughing]
Homer: She's a witch!
Crowd: Get her!

*********************************

Homer: Get out of there. My family needs to use your bomb shelter.

Ned: I kind of figured this might happen, so I built the shelter big enough for both our families.

Homer: No deal. Out.

****

Homer: I can't get the door closed. Somebody's going to have to get out.

Stranger: I'd get out but I don't know where I am.

Barney: Hey! Somebody's touching me.

Principal Skinner: I am

Barney: (Cheering up) Oh, okay!

****

Moe: Let's go burn down the observatory, so this'll never happen again!

dr.fuzzenstein

^^^
Shouldn't you all be in your shelterinos?

Padkir

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

^^^
Shouldn't you all be in your shelterinos?

We ain't got shelterinis... We want in yours!!