Dental plan!

wnolan1992

Marge: Go home to your son Mrs. Muntz... AND TRY NOT TO HAVE INTERCOURSE ALONG THE WAY!

toastedpickles

And she's a demon in the sack!

Hehe oh yeah...

Ohhh you guys heard about that too??

Uhhh yeah.....heard.....

dr.fuzzenstein

Padkir wrote: »

We ain't got shelterinis... We want in yours!!

Hi, I'm Big Butt Skinner

Galway K9

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Marge: Go home to your son Mrs. Muntz... AND TRY NOT TO HAVE INTERCOURSE ALONG THE WAY!

He came home with his shirt buttoned up like he was a somebody.

*Nelsons moms panties drop*

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

The common box kite was originally invented as a method of drying wet string.

paddylonglegs

Don't you hate pants?

Noccy_Mondy

Marge: Does anyone know where all my dinner plates went?
Homer: Um, you probably left them at work.

*****

Homer: A gun is not a weapon, Marge, it's a tool. Like a butcher knife or a harpoon, or, uh... or an alligator.

*****

Homer: I'll do it! I'll rob the Kwik-E-Mart! All right, put your--
D'oh! Oh well, I'll rob it next time.

Eutow

Homer: I'd like your deadliest gun please.


Shop Clerk: Aisle 6- Next to the sympathy cards.

Riddle101

dan1895

Was watching season two last night, Treehouse of Horror. Only noticed the famous Indian buried in the top left of the Indian burial ground in the basement:pac:

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/treehouse-of-horror-i1_5292.png

Heisenberg1

Homer actor: [voice unlike Homer's]: I do not miss Bart at all.
Marge actress: I am glad he's gone.
Lisa actor: As am I.
[Homer actor drops his sandwich]
Homer Actor: "B'oh!"
Bart: It's probably my imagination but, something about them doesn't seem quite right.
Mr. Burns: Really? Excuse me for just a moment.
Mr. Burns: People, people that was all wrong! Homer Simpson doesn't say "B'oh!", he says [goes through script] "D'oh!"
Homer Actor: "Sorry M.B., but I'm having trouble, with this character. Is he supposed to have some kind of a nuerological impairment, like Rain Man or Awakenings? I mean, what the hell am I doing here!
Marge actress: And this dialog has none of the wit and sparkle of Murphy Brown.
Lisa actor: Hey, you know we're getting into golden time.
Mr. Burns: Yes. Well just get it right, or you'll all be back doing Come Blow Your Horn at the Westport Dinner Theatre.

Heisenberg1

Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over, 'conquered' if you will, by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. But, one thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

Heisenberg1

Kent Brockman: "Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%."
Homer: "Oh people can come up with statistics to prove anything Kent, forty per cent of all people know that."

Heisenberg1

Lisa: Mom!
Homer: Huh -- wha -- Lisa! What's up?
Lisa: I just had a bad dream!
Homer: Oh, sure. You just lie down and tell me all about it.
Lisa: Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the bogeyman was after me, and he's hiding under --
Homer: AAAHHHHH! BOOGIE MAN! You nail the windows shut, I'll get the gun!
[Homer runs into Bart's room]
Homer: Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but there may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house!
Bart: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

OntheStrings

Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?

Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

paddylonglegs

OntheStrings wrote: »

Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?

Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

-To the bee mobile!
-Don't you mean your Chevy?
-Yes

dr.fuzzenstein

EPA Official: S-sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power...
Russ Cargill: Of course I have. You ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. No one listens to you!

pajor

OntheStrings wrote: »

Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?

Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women..

dr.fuzzenstein

pajor wrote: »

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women..

Homer: Bad bees. Get away from my sugar. Ow. OW. Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!

Heisenberg1

Sideshow Bob: Bart Simpson? uh, that spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine soaked hellhole.
Parole Officer: Uh...We object to the term: "urine soaked hellhole," when you could of used: "peepee soaked heckhole."
Sideshow Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.

toastedpickles

I'd like to introduce you all to a very special woman. She's 200 years old, 500 feet tall, and weighs 400...;) Tons.

This gigantic woman will devour us all! YAAAAGH!

I meant the statue

Heisenberg1

Homer: Apu, you gotta help me! I need a Valentine's gift for my wife!
Apu: Perhaps this might be appropriate?
Apu: [Apu takes out a box of chocolates in a heart-shaped box]
Homer: Yes! You saved my life. How much?
Apu: One hundred dollars.
Homer: WHAT? That's highway robbery, I won't pay it!
Apu: Oh, I think you will.
Homer: Forget it, pal!
Homer: [Homer starts to leave the store, Apu hums peacefully]
Homer: All right! But I'll never shop here again!
Apu: [thinking] If he discovers the discount supermarket next door, all is lost.
Apu: Nickel off on expired baby food.
Homer: Sold!

Heisenberg1

Lisa: What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested?
Marge Simpson: Well, honey, I...
Homer: Let me handle this, Marge. I've heard them all: "I like you as a friend," "I think we should see other people," "I no speak English"...
Lisa: I get the idea.
Homer: "I'm married to the sea," "I don't want to kill you but I will"...
Marge Simpson: Honey! Lisa, I'd tell this boy that you're very flattered, but you're just not ready for this kind of thing.
Lisa: Thanks, Mom.
Homer: And if that doesn't work, six simple words: "I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

dr.fuzzenstein

Marge: You're not my husband!
Fake Homer: Ya, please forgive my unexplained two week absence. To make it up to you we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaraunt then have a night of efficient German sex.

I'm German and this one slays me every time. Killer pickup line for me!

Wotsername

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Marge: You're not my husband!
Fake Homer: Ya, please forgive my unexplained two week absence. To make it up to you we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaraunt then have a night of efficient German sex.

I'm German and this one slays me every time. Killer pickup line for me!

I'm so glad you consider it satisfactory.

pajor

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Marge: You're not my husband!
Fake Homer: Ya, please forgive my unexplained two week absence. To make it up to you we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaraunt then have a night of efficient German sex.

I'm German and this one slays me every time. Killer pickup line for me!

Horst: Homer, could ve have a word with you?
Homer: No.
Horst: I must have phrased that badly. My English is, how you say, inelegant. I meant to say, may we have a brief friendly chat.
Homer: No.
Horst: Once again, I have failed. [consults phrasebook]
We request the pleasure of your company for a free exchange of ideas.
Homer: Agghh! [runs away in panic]

And then basically quote that whole episode.

Heisenberg1

pajor wrote: »

Horst: Homer, could ve have a word with you?
Homer: No.
Horst: I must have phrased that badly. My English is, how you say, inelegant. I meant to say, may we have a brief friendly chat.
Homer: No.
Horst: Once again, I have failed. [consults phrasebook]
We request the pleasure of your company for a free exchange of ideas.
Homer: Agghh! [runs away in panic]

And then basically quote that whole episode.

Mr Burns: You'll see the Statue of Liberty wearing liederhosen before you see Germans running my plant.

Kent Brockman: Well then sir, why are you meeting them then?

Mr Burns: So I can look uncle Fritz square in the monocle and say nein!

Classic episode

Heisenberg1

Jimbo: Hey Simpson, wanna trade belts?

Bart: Well, not really, 'cause yours is just a piece of extension cord.

Kearney: Hey, dude, he's ragging on your cord.

Jimbo: Get him!

RobbingBandit

Mr Burns: Hans and Fritz, why that's just John and Frank.

Smithers: You looking sharpen today in mein herr.

Heisenberg1

Homer: You used to be a boxer just like me?

Moe: Yup. They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Moe.

Moe: Fun's over, fellas! If you're gonna beat up my friend in my bar, there's a two-drink minimum.


Interviewer #1: Champ, do you feel remorse for your crime?

Drederick Tatum: Oh, yes. Believe me, my god, if I could turn back the clock on my mother's stair-pushing, I would certainly, reconsider it.

Interviewer #2: Drederick, ah, what do you think of Homer Simpson?

Drederick Tatum: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.

Interviewer #3: Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ?

Drederick Tatum: Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.