Dental plan!

Duck Soup

Bart & Lisa, avoiding Groundskeeper Willie in Freddie Krueger Halloween episode mode.

Lisa: Bart, do you realise what this means? The next time we fall asleep we could die.

Grampa: Ehhh, welcome to my world. [starts snoring]

Noccy_Mondy

Hey, he's not happy at all. He lied to us through song! I hate when people do that!
https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/943328_538024252922528_196139106_n.jpg

Heisenberg1

Mayor Quimby: And now, it gives me great pleasure to present the power plant warning sign, which will be visible from the hills to the entire city. And now, a demonstration! The nuclear plant status will be presented as such.
Warning sign: [NO PROBLEM. EVERYTHING IS FINE.]
Strong applause
Warning sign: [MINOR FALLOUT. ROLL UP WINDOWS.]
Moderate applause
Warning sign: [MELTDOWN. FLEE CITY.]
Weak applause
Warning sign: [CORE EXPLOSION. REPENT SINS.]
Audience is in stunned silence over gravity of such a warning; all except for Carl, Homer, and Lenny, who are snickering because they think that warning sign is ridiculous
Homer: Joke's on them. If the core exploded, there would not even be the power to light that sign!"

Sky King

toastedpickles wrote: »

I'd like to introduce you all to a very special woman. She's 200 years old, 500 feet tall, and weighs 400...;) Tons.

This gigantic woman will devour us all! YAAAAGH!

I meant the statue

That reminds me of the unveiling of the Jimmy Carter statue:

'HE'S HISTORY'S GREATEST MONSTER!'

Heisenberg1

Principal Skinner: (to Bart) And you'll be with your friends, Nelson, Jimbo, Dol-. (He realizes that they haven't been released.) Oh dear God!
(Principal Skinner and Groundskeeper Willie rush over to the school with a bunch of mountain bikes)
Principal Skinner: Faster, Willie, faster. Now, we give 'em the bikes, no one sues. (nervous chuckle)
Groundskeeper Willie: (chuckles) What if they're dead, sir?
Principal Skinner: Then we ride these bikes to Mexico and freedom, Willie! Freedom!
Groundskeeper Willie: Freedom. (chuckles, then mutters under his breath) I'll turn ya in at the first tollbooth.

suicide_circus

Homer: From now on, I'm gonna be just like Krusty and tell it like it is. Marge, you're getting a little fat around the old thighs!

Bart: Dad!

Homer: You too, Bart!

Marge Simpson: Oh, knock it off, Homer, you're the fattest one in the car!

Homer: [shocked, hurt] You didn't have to tell it like it is, Marge!

FarmerBrowne

Doctor: Mr. Simpson, you do realize this may result in hair loss, giddiness, and the loss of equilibrium?
Homer: Yeah, yeah, just give me the serum.

dr.fuzzenstein

Bart: Dad, remember those self-hypnosis courses we took to help us ignore Grampa? Homer: Do I ever! It's five years later and I still think I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken, Marge! Marge: I know, I know.


Homer: I swear, that if I ever reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, that my stomach shall become bloated, and my head plucked of all but three hairs... Moe Szyslak: Um, I think he should have to take a different oath. Number One: Everybody takes the same oath!

And again, quote the entire episode...

suicide_circus

Marge: Homer, didn't John seem a little "festive" to you?
Homer: Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam.
Marge: He prefers the company of men!
Homer: Who doesn't?!

pajor

'Fourth notice. Ninety days overdue. We break thumbs!?!'

paddylonglegs

Cat.in.the furnace

iDave

Lousy Smarch weather

FarmerBrowne

Pick a bar? What the hell is pick a bar?

Omackeral

Lisa Simpson: [the Family is at the hospital with Homer having a stem of a flower sticking out of his forehead] Are you gonna remove the flower?

Dr. Hibbert: [laughs] I'm a doctor, not a gardener.

Homer Simpson: Well, can you at least cut the leaves off so I can watch T.V.?

Dr. Hibbert: [Sternly] What did I just say?

paddylonglegs

Yes ma'am. Sideshow bob. Yackin it up on the old yack box

paddylonglegs

Day off, storm on the way, let's batten down the hatches and watch the entire sixth season. Back to back Simpsons gold

Heisenberg1

Free money ding ding ding ding

FarmerBrowne

Luigi Risotto: You don't want to sit with the rest of this scum.
(people get mad)
Luigi: I only consider you scum-a compared to Krusty.
(people forgive him)
Luigi: Yeah, you see how you scum.

homemadecider

Ice cream man ice cream man

Ding ding ding ding ding

krudler

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

What was I laughing about? Oh, yes. That crippled Irishman.

The Simpsons moment that still genuinely cracks me up no matter how many times I've seen it. "Ah me legs God gave me, who'll provide fer me little ones?!"

krudler

FarmerBrowne wrote: »

Luigi Risotto: You don't want to sit with the rest of this scum.
(people get mad)
Luigi: I only consider you scum-a compared to Krusty.
(people forgive him)
Luigi: Yeah, you see how you scum.

"Eh give the kid a plate of the red crap!"

Heisenberg1

Tour guide: That's our sister ship the Athena went down last week with loss of 88 souls.

Marge: I wonder how that happened?

[Homer is taunting a shark]
Homer: Come on Sharky. Call yourself the king of the jungle?

Heisenberg1

Helen: I don't understand why they won't unload our falafel fixings.

Lou: Ship's impounded, ma'am.

Chief Wiggum: Yeah, we, uh, found a couple of barnacles on the hull; that and, uh, the deck was, uh, wet.

Helen: That's crazy! And what are those men doing under my van? [the men flee the van]

Chief Wiggum: Look, lady, if I was you, I would just leap into the air as I am preparing to do. [they both leap and the van explodes]

Heisenberg1

Marge: Homer! Did you tell the mafia they could eliminate my competitors with savage beatings and attempted murder?

Homer: (swallowing beer) In those words? Yes.

Homer: I saw you pouring your heart and soul into this business and getting nowhere. I saw you desperately trying to cram one more salty treat into America's already bloated snack hole. So I did what I could. I did what any loving husband would do! I reached out to some violent mobsters.

Heisenberg1

Announcer:And heeeere cooooome the pretzels!

Whitey Ford pleading for... For some kind of sanity

Uh-oh, and a barage of pretzels now knocking Whitey unconscious

This is a black day for baseball.

Heisenberg1

TV Announcer: "And now let's take a look at a young Charles Bronson in his short lived stint replacing Andy Griffith on The Andy Griffith Show."
Don Knots: "Where's Otis? He not in his cell."
Charles: "I shot him."
Don: "Well that's just... you WHAT?!"
Charles: "Now I'm going down to Emmett's Fix-It-Shop...to fix Emmett."

chops018

Goodnight Springton, there will be no encore

Sky King

'Attention Marge Simpson. We have also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.'

Noccy_Mondy

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tonnes of American pride, Canyonero...

*********

Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts... Canyonero!

Burlap_Sack

Homer: Oh, Lord! Why do You mock me? (looking up at ceiling).

Marge: Homer, that’s not God. That’s a waffle Bart stuck to the ceiling. (Marge pries the waffle off the ceiling).

Homer: Lord, I know I shouldn’t eat Thee, but… (munch munch munch) mmmm…sacrelicious.