Dental plan!

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Well you're certainly doing your job today Mr Sun.

Oh rats.

ivytwine

I fell 8000 feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. Course, folks were tougher in those days. I was up and jitterbugging that very night!

RobbingBandit

Indian Casino Owner: If you want to see your future, throw a prized item into the fire. [Bart throws something in the fire and it pops] Not a firecracker!

Bart: Hey, I bought it off an Indian on your reservation.

Indian Casino Owner: That's crazy talk!

Bart: No, it's true.

Indian Casino Owner: No, that's my brother, Crazy Talk. We're all a little worried about him.

dr.fuzzenstein

Monkey knife fight!

Burlap_Sack

Homer: From this day forward, I am an inventor!
Guy: Do us a favour, invent yourself some underpants!

paddylonglegs

Quimby: well I'll be. Eh, long pants

ivytwine

Hey you! Get that steel drum out of, eh, the mayor's office!

Sorry mon!

Noo

Big Steve wrote: »

Kent Brockman: This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at eight o'clock for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came, and when Marge Simpson put the cat out... possibly because it was harassed, we don't know.

One of my favourites ever!
I remember jokes like that going completely over my head when watching as I child. Makes the older episodes so much funnier watching now!

iDave

Lousy 2 legged pants

Noccy_Mondy

Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back, or you can go out there and find your dog.

Bart: You're right, dad! [leaves]

Homer: Rats! Almost had him eating dog food!

Hootanany

krudler wrote: »

Lisa needs braces.

Don't gettit

Red Pepper

William Bonney (Billy the Kid) and his evil gang of undead henchmen have risen from the ground.

Billy the Kid: Now let's rob the bank, give the money to the poor, then rob the poor, and shoot the money!

ivytwine

It's an old fashioned hole diggin! By gar, it's been a while!

toastedpickles

ivytwine wrote: »

It's an old fashioned hole diggin! By gar, it's been a while!

This canary died of natural causes...

BACK IN THE HOLE!!!!!!

Padkir

paddylonglegs wrote: »

Quimby: well I'll be. Eh, long pants

Read the other one; the non-duck one.

larrykinney

Lenny: My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!

Nerdkiller1991

toastedpickles wrote: »

This canary died of natural causes...

BACK IN THE HOLE!!!!!!

"AAAAAAAH!"

larrykinney

FarmerBrowne wrote: »

We're picking up the weirdo and that's final

'I didn't think I was rehabilitated but I guess they needed the bed....'

paddylonglegs

More dogs Lumley

dr.fuzzenstein

At first, I thought prohibition was a good thing.
People were drinking more and having a lot more fun.
But without beer, prohibition doesn't work.

McChubbin

"Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say, take it."

krudler

larrykinney wrote: »

'I didn't think I was rehabilitated but I guess they needed the bed....'

I didn't realise for years that the hitchhiker they pick up is the guy from the Texas Chain Saw Massacre, the references you miss as a kid.

Professey Chin

krudler wrote: »

I didn't realise for years that the hitchhiker they pick up is the guy from the Texas Chain Saw Massacre, the references you miss as a kid.

THAT'S WHO IT IS! :eek:

krudler

"Oh Monty you're the devil himself.."
"WHO TOLD YOU!..oh"

krudler

Professey Chin wrote: »

THAT'S WHO IT IS! :eek:

sure is, animal bone necklace and all

All Hail President Murphy

Uh-oh, that's Joh Judge Schneider. He's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.

You did?

Well replace the word kinda with repeatedly and the word dog with son.

Galway K9

Marge: Sting, you look tired
Sting: I can't stop when one of my fans needs me!
Marge: actually, i dont think I've heard him play any of your records
Homer: Shhh...Marge....hes a good digger

RobbingBandit

Homer: "Don't worry, son. Just 'cuz you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life."

Fishyfreak

Herb: [on phone] Okay, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna hang up, call me back, and say the exact opposite of everything you just said. Goodbye.
[hangs up]
Herb: Bart, Lisa, come over here.
Lisa: What is it, Unkie Herb?
Herb: I want you to hear what the guys down at the plant think of your old man.
[phone rings]
Herb: Hello?
Engineer: Um, Homer Simpson is a... brilliant man with lots of well thought-out, practical, ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.



This was on last night, i'm still laughing!

Galway K9

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Homer: "Don't worry, son. Just 'cuz you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life."

It's too big!

Reporter: Timmy, where are your parents?
Bart: [through radio] Ah, I have no family! I tried to enroll in school, but your Principal Skinner turned me away because of my shabby clothes.
[The citizens gasp. Principal Skinner is took surrounded by people taking pictures of him.]
Principal Skinner: He's a liar.
People: Booo!