Dental plan!

dr.fuzzenstein

Kent: Tonight on `Eye on Springfield', we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years!
Man: [hic!] Kill me! [hic] Kill me!

Welsh Megaman

VoteQuimbyVoteQuimbyVoteQuimbyVoteQuimby...aah.

Fishyfreak

Welsh Megaman wrote: »

VoteQuimbyVoteQuimbyVoteQuimbyVoteQuimby...aah.

"If you were running for Mayor, he'd vote for you"

pajor

Fishyfreak wrote: »

"If you were running for Mayor, he'd vote for you"

"Hey four eyes.. vote for Quimby!"

dr.fuzzenstein

Welsh Megaman wrote: »

VoteQuimbyVoteQuimbyVoteQuimbyVoteQuimby...aah.

This time he really is the lesser of two evils!

Omackeral

When the new sporting franchise the Springfield Meltdowns came to town.


Carl: I've got Melt Mania!

Lenny: And I've got Downs Syndrome!

Burt Macklin

Burns: Men, there’s a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.

Milhouse: (to his mom and dad) I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he’s coming back.

Burt Macklin

Bart: Come on, man, everyone knows the first day of school is a total ****.

Seymour: Well, if by "****" you mean educational fun, then stand back it's **** time!

Limerick Dude

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

This time he really is the lesser of two evils!

krudler

Marge, I'm never going to church again!
Homer..are you actually giving up your faith?!
No, no no no no...well yes.

dr.fuzzenstein

Marge: Tomorrow night, it might be nice to go out for dinner

Homer: Tomorrow night? Friday? Pork chop night? Marge! We haven't missed
pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87!

dr.fuzzenstein

Lisa: Dad, as you know, we've been swimming. And we've developed a taste for it. We both agree that getting our own pool is the only way to go. Now before you respond, you must understand that your refusal would result in months and months of, "Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad?"
Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our new arrangement by the adding of chocolate to milk.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate all of the food in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.

MultiUmm

Homer: Okay don't panic, remember what the instructor said! - If you ever get into trouble all you need to do is..... Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all, nothing at all, NOTHING AT ALL!

Ahh, stupid sexy Flanders!

iDave

Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob, a man twice convicted of attempted murder.

Vote Sideshow Bob!

ivytwine

krudler wrote: »

Marge, I'm never going to church again!
Homer..are you actually giving up your faith?!
No, no no no no...well yes.

Marge you always take someone's else's side! Flanders... the water department... God...

paddylonglegs

"When a fire starts to burn,
There's a lesson you should learn,
Something, something and you'll see
You'll avoid catastrophe........D'oh!

RobbingBandit

reap-a-rat

The front of the Krusty-O's box - "Only sugar has more sugar!"

RainyDay

Skinner: "Doggone it. I'm less popular than the hornet's nest in the gym".
Chalmers: "You said you were getting rid of that nest.
Skinner: "Uhm, We trade the honey for chalk and yard sticks".
Chalmers: "Hornets make honey?"
Skinner: "Better than Wasp honey. Not as good as Bee".
Chalmers: "Is this how you talk on dates?"
Skinner: "I wish my dates were this interesting".

Noccy_Mondy

Homer: Mr. Burns has a mother? She must be a hundred million years old!
Smithers: She has limited capacities. All she can do is dial and yell.

*****

Mr Burns: Get going! And answer those phones, install the computer system, and rotate my office so the window faces the hills.

*****

Homer: Okay Mr. Burns Here are your messages:
"You have thirty minutes to move your car."
"You have ten minutes to move your car."
"Your car has been impounded."
"Your car has been crushed into a cube."
"You have thirty minutes to move your cube."
Homer: [Phone Rings] Hello?
Mr. Burns: Is it about my cube?

dr.fuzzenstein

Car Saleswoman: Thinking of saying goodbye to gas?
Bart: You betcha :burps:
Marge: Bart! :farts: well, that shut me up.

Sunglasses Ron

Taft, you old dog!

longhalloween

This one is a bit obscure:

Allen Wrench: You put it together yourself! All you need is me, Alan Wrench!
Homer: He's named after what he is.
Bart: Hey, cool costume!
Allen Wrench: [Robotic voice] It's not a costume. They found me in a meteor!
Marge: Where do you keep your sparkplugs?
Allen Wrench: [Normal voice] Sparkplugs? Third aisle. [Robotic, to Bart] Help! I need tungsten to live! Tungsten!

krudler

ivytwine wrote: »

Marge you always take someone's else's side! Flanders... the water department... God...

"Dad, you saw the big cheese? what was he like?
Nice smell, perfect teeth, a class act all the way."


That's probably my favourite episode, definitely in the top 5. Homer turning on the tv to find some boring current affairs program being replaced by a football game cracks me up. And there's some brilliant quotes from it.

"I found...a PENNY!!!"

"Fire! whatdoIdo whatdoIdo?! ohh the song, when a fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn, something something then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe.....d'oh!"

"Dear lord, guide Homer to the matress square and true.."
*shoves Homer out window, bounces off matress back into flaming house with comical sound effect*
"oh...kay..."

MagicIRL

Shopkeeper: [Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled]
Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

Burt Macklin

Sushi Restaurant Hostess: This is our karaoke bar. Now it is empty, but soon it will be hopping with drunken Japanese businessmen.

ivytwine

longhalloween wrote: »

This one is a bit obscure:

Allen Wrench: You put it together yourself! All you need is me, Alan Wrench!
Homer: He's named after what he is.
Bart: Hey, cool costume!
Allen Wrench: [Robotic voice] It's not a costume. They found me in a meteor!
Marge: Where do you keep your sparkplugs?
Allen Wrench: [Normal voice] Sparkplugs? Third aisle. [Robotic, to Bart] Help! I need tungsten to live! Tungsten!

I love that scene. It's so odd!

Absoluvely

*Fifteen seconds to core meltdown.*

Ari: Just do what you did before. :eek:

Homer: Eenie meenie miney moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eenie meanie miney - MOE. (pushes button)

*Crisis has been averted. Everything is super.*

Ari: Do you even know what button you pushed?! :mad:

Homer: Sure! Moe.

RobbingBandit

Burt Macklin wrote: »

Sushi Restaurant Hostess: This is our karaoke bar. Now it is empty, but soon it will be hopping with drunken Japanese businessmen.

Japanese guy. I was born in the wagon of a traveling show, my momma used to dance for the money they'd throw papa would do what ever he could.