Dental plan!

ivytwine

reap-a-rat wrote: »

Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry?!

On now on Sky 1!

Lisa's Pony was on earlier, I love that slumberland dream sequence!

Noccy_Mondy

Operator: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.

Orim

Mark McGwire: Do you want to hear the terrifying truth, or would you like to see me sock a few dingers!?
Townsfolk: Dingers! Dingers!

I'm watching a documentary about steroids and it mentioned Mark McGwire being involved in a steroid scandal. It showed this clip and revealed a joke in the Simpsons that I was only fully appreciating 15 years later. It's just breathtaking how good Simpsons was at times.

dan1895

Orim wrote: »

Mark McGwire: Do you want to hear the terrifying truth, or would you like to see me sock a few dingers!?
Townsfolk: Dingers! Dingers!

I'm watching a documentary about steroids and it mentioned Mark McGwire being involved in a steroid scandal. It showed this clip and revealed a joke in the Simpsons that I was only fully appreciating 15 years later. It's just breathtaking how good Simpsons was at times.

It's scary that I'd consider that a "new" episode.

Fishyfreak

Skinner: Congratulations, Simpson. You just fell for our sting and won yourself three months detention. There's no such thing as Scotchtoberfest.
Willie: There's not? Ya used me, Skinner! Ya used me!

& an all time Willlie classic:

Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies! Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!
Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
Willie: You just made an enemy for life!

dr.fuzzenstein

Groundskeeper Seamus: "This is your doin', Willy! I'll turn your groin to puddin'!"

Groundskeeper Willy: "Ach! Ya speak like a poet, but ya punch like one too!"

ivytwine

Ooh, he card read good!

Fishyfreak

Bonjourrrrr, ya cheese-eatin surrender monkeys.

Kilkenny14

ivytwine wrote: »

Ooh, he card read good!

Milhouse: I have nothing to offer you but my love Mr. Burns: I specifically said, no geeks! Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool!

Youzername

This :pac:

cml387

Lisa: Can I go downstairs and see what Dad's doing?
Marge: I wouldn't bother him, honey. He's making some sort of model for a contest. He says it's really high-tech stuff that we wouldn't understand.
Homer: [opens basement door] Marge, do we have any elbow macaroni and glue-on sparkles?

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Oooh, sounds delish. Let me just throw on some blue jeans and.... Wait a minute! Who is this?

Welsh Megaman

Dear Edna,

I've never answered a personal ad before, but I found yours irresistable. My name is...Woodrow.

I like holding hands and dinner by candlelight.

And, oh yes...I really hate yo-yo's.

dr.fuzzenstein

cml387 wrote: »

Lisa: Can I go downstairs and see what Dad's doing?
Marge: I wouldn't bother him, honey. He's making some sort of model for a contest. He says it's really high-tech stuff that we wouldn't understand.
Homer: [opens basement door] Marge, do we have any elbow macaroni and glue-on sparkles?

SMITHERS
Our first little genius is Ralph Wiggum.

Ralph comes on stage with a modified Malibu Stacy Dream House.

SMITHERS
It's pretty good sir.

BURNS
Hot tub? Media room? It's supposed to be a power plant not Aunt Beulah's bordello. Thank you. Get out. Next!

Ralph doesn't move. Chief Wiggum calls from off screen.

WIGGUM
Uh, Ralphie, get off the stage sweetheart!

Ralph takes the doll house and leaves. Martin Prince is up next.

MARTIN
Behold, the power plant of the future, today!

BURNS
Yuck. Too cold and sterile. Where's the heart?

MARTIN
But it really generates power. It, it's lighting this room right now.

He turns a knob, dimming the auditorium lights.

BURNS
You lose. Get off my property. Lets have the next child.


Again, you can just quote the whole episode, but what made it for me:



LOVEJOY
Frank Grimes, or "Grimey," as he liked to be called, taught us that a man can triumph over adversity. And even though Frank's agonizing struggle through life was tragically cut short, I'm sure he's looking down on this right now...

Lovejoy's voice fades as the camera pans to a sleeping Homer.

HOMER
(snores) Change the channel, Marge!

The mourners laugh.

LENNY
That's our Homer!

Everybody laughs as Grimes' coffin is lowered into the ground. Fade to credits.

Sky King

Marge: I got the popcorn... did you rent Waiting to Exhale?

Homer: No, they put me on the Waiting to Exhale waiting list but they said don't hold your breath.

Lockstep

Ralph:Why do people run from me?
*Pisses himself*

---

Sunday school teacher: "Uh, Ralph...Jesus did not have wheels."

---

Homer: But Marge, what about dessert?
Marge: For God’s sakes, you can pull the lid off your own can of pudding!
Homer: Fine! I will!…Oh no, my pudding is trapped forever. So I can open my own can of pudding, can I? Shows what you know, Marge. Mmmaaaaarge!!!!!

Youzername

"You will have to speak up....!!"



".....I'm wearing a towel!!"

ivytwine

Kilkenny14 wrote: »

Milhouse: I have nothing to offer you but my love Mr. Burns: I specifically said, no geeks! Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool!

Poor old Milhouse :P

Mr Burns: You! Foodbag! Do you have a son?

Homer: Yes, sir, I do.

Mr Burns: And is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?

Homer: Oh all the time! Have you have heard of this kid called Milhouse? He's this little weiner who-

Mr Burns: Fascinating. Good night.

RobbingBandit

James Bont: So, do you expect me to talk?
Scorpio: I expect nothing from you, except to die and be a very cheap funeral. You're gonna die now!

DazMarz

Hank Scorpio: Stop him! He's supposed to die!!!

(Homer rugby tackles Bont to the ground. Scorpio and a group of his stormtroopers walk over)

Scorpio: Nice work, Homer! When you get home tonight, there's going to be another storey on your house! Thank you.

(Homer and Scorpio walk off. Scorpio's stormtroopers riddle Bont with machineguns)

(Later, at home)

Homer: I tackled a loafer in work today!

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

This is the moment we've feared, people.
Many of you thought it would never happen but I insisted we spend two hours every morning training for it.
You all thought I was mad.
Many of you requested to be transferred to another peanut factory.

haro124

Homer: (walking out of store to his car) Lousy big shot, thinks he's so big 'cause he's got a lot of guns, if he didn't have any guns I'd show him a thing or two… (at home, pacing the hallway in front of Lisa's bedroom) …let's see him walk into my store and then we'll see who's worried about five-day waiting periods…
Lisa: Dad…it's 3 A.M! Can't you mutter in your room?
Homer: Marge kicked me out.
Lisa: (groans) All right. Go ahead.
Homer: Pushy kids think they can tell me what to do in my house, Why, I tell you these parents these days they don't know how to rear children...

toastedpickles

So the next time you see the sheriff, shoot him! -crowd gasps- A smile!

paddylonglegs

Homer: look, maggie lost her baby legs!

wnolan1992

Homer: (to Marge on their 10th wedding anniversary) Do you think we'll make it to 25 years?

Bart: Nothing should.


:pac:

Youzername

Homer: Oh! And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember that time I took a home wine making course and forgot how to drive?

Marge: That's because you were drunk!

Homer: And how...

Lyrical

I thought about Homer's response to "what's your worst quality" during an interview recently .


Smithers: What would each of you say is your worst quality?
Man 1: Well, I'm a workaholic.
Man 2: I push myself too hard.
Homer: Well, it takes me a long time to learn anything,
I'm kind of a goof-off...
Smithers: Okay, that'll do.
Homer: ... a little stuff starts disappearing from the workplace...
Smithers: That's enough!

His response to the follow up question always makes me laugh.

Smithers: There's a problem with the reactor. What do you do?
Homer: There's a problem with the reactor!? We're all going to die!
Aaaaaaagh

Heisenberg1

Kent Brockman: Top of the morning to ye on this gray, grizzly afternoon. Kent O'Brockman live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.

ivytwine

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

Kent Brockman: Top of the morning to ye on this gray, grizzly afternoon. Kent O'Brockman live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.

Drunkenness, violence, destruction of property- is this what we think of when we think of the Irish?

Heisenberg1

Kent Brockman: "What are you lookin' at?" - the innocent words of a drunken child.