Dental plan!

Heisenberg1

Kent Brockman: [Voicing-over an aerial shot of the Simpsons' home, during a news broadcast] This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at eight o'clock for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came, and when Marge Simpson put the cat out... possibly because it was harassed, we don't know.

Noccy_Mondy

Dondelinger: Alright, here are your exams, fifty questions true or false.
Homer: True.
Dondelinger: Homer, I was just describing the test.
Homer: True.
Dondelinger: Look Homer, just take the test and you'll do fine.
Homer: False.

RobbingBandit

Krusty: I'm gonna need a shoe box full of blow to get through this dreck.

ivytwine

Noccy_Mondy wrote: »

Dondelinger: Alright, here are your exams, fifty questions true or false.
Homer: True.
Dondelinger: Homer, I was just describing the test.
Homer: True.
Dondelinger: Look Homer, just take the test and you'll do fine.
Homer: False.

My wife recently passed away. I thought that maybe teaching would ease my loneliness-

Homer: Will this be on the test?

paddylonglegs

Grandma simpson(singing): how many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man

Homer: SEVEN!

Lisa: No dad, it's a rhetorical question.

Homer: rhetorical eh? .......EIGHT!

ivytwine

paddylonglegs wrote: »

Grandma simpson(singing): how many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man

Homer: SEVEN!

Lisa: No dad, it's a rhetorical question.

Homer: rhetorical eh? .......EIGHT!

Do I know what rhetorical means?!

Noccy_Mondy

Jane: We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
Homer: How much is this free resort weekend?
Glen: It's free.
Homer: And when is this weekend?
Glen: It's this weekend.
Homer: Uh-huh. And how much does it cost?
Glen: Um, it's free.
Homer: I see. And when is it?
Glen: It's this weekend.
Homer: And what are you charging for this free weekend?

****

Homer: Nanananananana LEADER Nananananananana LEADER ... LEADER, LEADER BATMAN! I mean LEADER!
(And yes I've checked and there are the right number of na's in it :pac: )

ivytwine

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Homer: (to Marge on their 10th wedding anniversary) Do you think we'll make it to 25 years?

Bart: Nothing should.


:pac:

I wish Matt Groening had followed this advice! :pac:

Sunglasses Ron

Sunglasses Ron

ivytwine wrote: »

I wish Matt Groening had followed this advice! :pac:

I'm not sure he even watches it any more let alone has any creative input.

dr.fuzzenstein

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

I'm not sure he even watches it any more let alone has any creative input.

I'm sure he's not upset at the cheques rolling in.

RobbingBandit

Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby, Vote Quimby.

Youzername

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

Kent Brockman: [Voicing-over an aerial shot of the Simpsons' home, during a news broadcast] This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at eight o'clock for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came, and when Marge Simpson put the cat out... possibly because it was harassed, we don't know.

Now, this technology is new to me, but...I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices!

catallus

Why would anyone want to touch a girl's butt?? That's where cooties come from!!

RainyDay

Homer: I don’t eat anything new unless I’ve eaten it before.

Bart: Come on dad, be a foodie. You’re already a fatty and a drunkie.

krudler

EatthepuddingEatthepuddingEatthepuddingEatthepudding...

wnolan1992

Oh Marge! You saved me from the danger you put me in! I'm so happy! And angry...

michaelr666

Stealingmoneyfromthechurchcollectionplate!

haro124

Bart: Uh, yes. I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass, first name Hugh. Moe: Hold on, I'll check. (to crowd) Hugh Jass. Oh, somebody check the men's room for Hugh Jass. (a man approaches Moe) Hugh Jass: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass. Moe: Telephone. (Moe hands Hugh the phone) Hugh: Hello, this is Hugh Jass. Bart: Uh, hi. Hugh: Who's this? Bart: Bart Simpson. Hugh: What can I do for you, Bart? Bart: Uh, look. I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now. Hugh: All right, better luck next time.

Burt Macklin

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

I'm not sure he even watches it any more let alone has any creative input.

Matt created the characters, but beyond that he's never really had any creative input. He was a showrunner for two seasons and has one solo writing credit in the 25 years the show has been on the air.

The people most responsible for shaping the show's humour are guys like Sam Simon, George Meyer, John Swartzwelder, etc.

Rega

You will die a terrible terrible death

pajor

Homer: 'I've come around on hipsters. It takes a lot of guts to all wear the same hat.'

RobbingBandit

Mayor Quimby: Get that punk's name, nobody makes a fool of Diamond Joe Quimby

Noccy_Mondy

Wiggum: I hate to interrupt your fun, boys, but I got a few complaints that your game is crooked.
Homer: Heh-heh, and how.
Wiggum: Gee, I hate to close you down, maybe we can reach a little, uh...understanding here.
Homer: I understand.
Bart: Um, hey, Dad, I think he wants...
Homer: Not right now, son, Daddy is talking to the policeman.
Wiggum: Lemme put it this way. I'm looking for my friend Bill. Have you seen any Bills around here?
Homer: No. He's Bart.
Wiggum: Argh. Listen carefully and watch me wink as I speak, okay?
Homer: Okay.
Wiggum: The guy I'm really looking for, wink, is Mr. Bribe, wink wink.
Homer: ... It's a ring toss game.
Wiggum: Alright, that's it, I'm shutting this game down!

haro124

Nobody likes Milhouse!

RobbingBandit

Homer: Moe! The new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture.
Moe: Oh, boy! Move over, liquor license. (takes a framed license down from the wall)
Lenny: (reading license) Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and it's only good in Rhode Island … and it's signed by you.
Moe: Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to get that updated, uh, for this state and, real.

Rega

Now I'm not saying Mr Burns is incontinent

Noccy_Mondy

Homer: [leaning against the trampoline in resignation] All right. All right, you win for now. But someday you'll RUST! RUST I TELL YA! [He starts laughing insanely and falls to his knees]

Lyrical

Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me?

ivytwine

I know this has been posted, but it's one of the best moments of the series.