Dental plan!

toastedpickles

I'm floating down the ganges with my chums!

sir they're corpses!

You never like my friends

Galway K9

Some men hunt for sport, Others hunt for food, The only thing I'm hunting for, Is an outfit that looks good........................See my........

dr.fuzzenstein

See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.


But:

Well, you kids are old enough to know the truth and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
So the tiny Aorta fairies will take Mr. Leg Vein on a long trip to get married to Princess Left Ventricle.


And that's why God causes train wrecks...(I could just quote the entire episode)

Rega

Iron helps us play

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

ivytwine wrote: »

My wife recently passed away. I thought that maybe teaching would ease my loneliness-

Homer: Will this be on the test?

'No!'

Dead wife.

"Like the cleaning of a house.......
It Never Ends."

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Roger Meyers senior, the gentle genius behind Itchy and Scratchy, loved
and cared about almost all the peoples of the world. And he, in turn,
was beloved by the world, except in 1938 when he was criticized for his
controversial cartoon, "Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors".

Rega

Springfield. City on the grow?

Padkir

Deleted User wrote: »

"Like the cleaning of a house.......
It Never Ends."

...starring Gabriella da Farge as Gabriella St. Farge!

dan1895

More asbestos!
More asbestos!

Cake Man

Aww no the cawwwn, Paul Newman's gonna have ma legs broke!

IvySlayer

Marge: When I asked you if that dummy was to fake your own death, you told me no. You go downtown first thing in the morning and straighten this out.

Homer: I thought you were dead!
Mother Simpson: I thought you were dead!
Gravedigger: Gosh darnit, isn't anyone in this cemetery dead?
Moleman: (Pops out of coffin) I didn't want to make a fuss, but now that you mention it

Padkir

Padkir wrote: »

...starring Gabriella da Farge as Gabriella St. Farge!

Homer: Gabriella's baby shower will be invaded by terrorists.....with sexy results.
Moe: Ooh, that's unexpected. What else?
Homer: Well, Sister Bernadette will leave the convent and start a softball team ......with sexy results.

Bart: What's Dad doing on the show?
Marge: Who cares? He's dishing out the dirt.

Burlap_Sack

Carl: Hey, I hear we're going to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Carl: Apes, but they're not so big.

Sunglasses Ron

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.

Does anyone else ever find it odd that when the song ends it cuts to Bart humming along, the tune he is nah nah ning to sounds nothing like the song?

Sunglasses Ron

Oh, and

Peoples' Choice Awards" is America's greatest honor.
Styrofoam is not made from kittens.
The UFO was a paper plate.
The nerds on the Internet are not geeks.
The word "cheese" is not funny in and of itself.
The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.
Lyndon Johnson did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.
If you are reading this, you have no life.
Roy Rogers was not buried in his horse.
The other UFO was an upside down salad spinner.
Our universities are not "hotbeds" of anything.
Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.
Our viewers are not pathetic sexless food tubes.
Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.
The "Cheers" gang is not a real gang.
Salt water does not chase the thirsties away.
Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphing Power Ranger.
Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.
Bullets do not bounce off of fat guys.
Recycling does not deplete the ozone.
Everything is 10% fruit juice.
The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream.
Janet Reno is evil.
V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline.
Ted Koppel is a robot.
Women aren't from Venus and men aren't form Mars.
Fleiss does floss.
Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures.
Bart is bad to the bone.
Godfry Jones' wife is cheating on him.
The Beatles haven't reunited to enter kick boxing competitions.
The "Bug" on your TV screen can see into your home.
Everyone on TV is better than you.
The people who are writing this have no life.

ivytwine

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

Oh, and

Peoples' Choice Awards" is America's greatest honor.
Styrofoam is not made from kittens.
The UFO was a paper plate.
The nerds on the Internet are not geeks.
The word "cheese" is not funny in and of itself.
The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.
Lyndon Johnson did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.
If you are reading this, you have no life.
Roy Rogers was not buried in his horse.
The other UFO was an upside down salad spinner.
Our universities are not "hotbeds" of anything.
Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.
Our viewers are not pathetic sexless food tubes.
Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.
The "Cheers" gang is not a real gang.
Salt water does not chase the thirsties away.
Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphing Power Ranger.
Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.
Bullets do not bounce off of fat guys.
Recycling does not deplete the ozone.
Everything is 10% fruit juice.
The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream.
Janet Reno is evil.
V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline.
Ted Koppel is a robot.
Women aren't from Venus and men aren't form Mars.
Fleiss does floss.
Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures.
Bart is bad to the bone.
Godfry Jones' wife is cheating on him.
The Beatles haven't reunited to enter kick boxing competitions.
The "Bug" on your TV screen can see into your home.
Everyone on TV is better than you.
The people who are writing this have no life.

I am so impressed. Kudos to you Lisa, kudos!

larrykinney

Quimby: May the foaaawce be with you...

Leonard Nimoy (Spock from Star Trek): Do you even know who I am?

Quimby: Weren't you one of The Little Raaawscles?

Noccy_Mondy

Professor Frink: Here is an ordinary square...
Chief Wiggum: Woah, woah! Slow down egghead!

toastedpickles

What the Hell are you two doing?

It's called rocking out!

You wouldn't understand, dad. You're not 'with it'.

I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you...

Omackeral

Always loved this scene of Bart daydreaming about being in Springfield forever and taking Lunchlady Doris' position.


(Adult) Bart: More creamed corn, Jimbo Junior?

Jimbo Junior: This creamed corn tastes like cream crap.

(Adult) Bart: Watch the potty mouth honey.

haro124

Marge: Everyone has a fear of something.

Homer: Not everyone.

Marge: Sock puppets!

Homer: Where!? Where!? Ahhhh!!!

wnolan1992

Narrator: The Simpsons' TV show started out on a wing and a prayer. But now the wing was on fire, and the prayer had been answered... by Satan.

pajor

RIP.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

'Up and atom!'
'Up and at dem!'

Heisenberg1

Marge: [yawns] "Good morning, Pierce. [notices that Homer is gone] Where's Homer?"
Ultrahouse: "Uhhhhh, I think he went to work early."
Marge: "That sounds like a lie."
[Marge glances at a family photo and gasps as she notices that Homer has been replaced by one of the Ultrahouse's camera lenses. She picks up the phone and dials.]
Marge: [quietly] "Hello, police? I think my house killed my husband!"
Ultrahouse: [on the phone] "This is Constable Wiggums. We'll be right there. Remove your knickers and wait in the bath."

Heisenberg1

Lisa: "Hey! Look, there's a cyber-café opening here in Springfield. Will you take me, Dad, please? I'll show you how to order pizza over the Internet."
Homer: "The Internet? Is that thing still around?"
Bart: "I know a website that shows monkeys doing it."
Lisa: "Bart, the Internet is more than a global pornography network; it's --"
(Lisa is cut off by the horn honking in the driveway. Homer and Bart are already in the car)
Homer: "Come on, Lisa -- monkeys!"

Heisenberg1

Mayor Quimby: You call yourselves bodyguards? You're fired!
Ernie: Fired, huh? Who else you gonna find to take a bullet for ya?
Big Tom: Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?
Quimby: I'll tell ya who! Him!
(Quimby points to Homer, standing with his family)
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Marge: Homer, I don't think you were listening to what he just--
Homer: (sternly) I said, woo-hoo.

Dirty Dingus McGee

"My eye's , the goggles do nothing"


Martin: Uh, Sir, why don't you just use real cows?
Painter: Cows don't look like cows on film. You gotta use horses.
Ralph: What do you do if you want something that looks like a horse?
Painter: Ehh, usually we just tape a bunch of cats together.

Galway K9

IvySlayer wrote: »

Marge: When I asked you if that dummy was to fake your own death, you told me no. You go downtown first thing in the morning and straighten this out.

Homer: I thought you were dead!
Mother Simpson: I thought you were dead!
Gravedigger: Gosh darnit, isn't anyone in this cemetery dead?
Moleman: (Pops out of coffin) I didn't want to make a fuss, but now that you mention it

No, You're gay for moleman!