Dental plan!

toastedpickles

Noccy_Mondy wrote: »

Homer: Marge, where's that...metal... dealy...you use to...dig...food?

A spoon??

Yeah! yeah!

ivytwine

A customer asked "HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT" at work yesterday (I work for a betting company).

It was all I could do not to reply:

"On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies."

pajor

"Moon Pie!" What a time to be alive!

Heisenberg1

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

Homer begs Marge to take him back into the house

Homer: Wait a minute...wait, that's it! I know now what I can offer you
that no one else can: complete and utter dependence!

Marge: Homer, that's not a good thing!

Homer :Marge I've only been away from you for a day and I'm as dirty as a French.

dr.fuzzenstein

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

Homer :Marge I've only been away from you for a day and I'm as dirty as a French.

eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding

Dirty Dingus McGee

From El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)


Homer steps up to "Firehouse Ned's Five-Alarm Chili."

Homer: Five-alarm chili, eh?
Ned: Uh-huh.
Homer: [eats some] One, two... hey, what's the big idea?
Ned: Oh, I admit it. It's only two-alarm, two-and-a-half, tops. I
just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.
Todd: Daddy? Are you going to jail?
Ned: We'll see, son. We'll see.



Moe, on his relationship to Homer,
"I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm."


Bart: Hey look! Is that dad?
Lisa: Either that, or Batman's really let himself go.

FarmerBrowne

Come in, come in. Mayday! I'm losing your transmission!

Limerick Dude

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding

"Oh...My tattered rags are caught on your coffee table......"

Poor Homer!

dr.fuzzenstein

FarmerBrowne wrote: »

Come in, come in. Mayday! I'm losing your transmission!

I said FRENCH FRIES!!!

pajor

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

I said FRENCH FRIES!!!

Mr. Peterson, you can take this job and...fill it. And one more thing.. I never once washed my hands! That's your policy, not mine!

ivytwine

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

I said FRENCH FRIES!!!

Do we sell.... French fries?

Sinister Kid

number 8 *burp*
number 8 *burp*
number 8 *burp*
number 8 *burp*
number 8 *burp*
number 8 *burp*
number 8 *burp*
number 8 *burp*

haro124

Marge: I'll be there with bells on.

Susan: Bells? Where exactly will you be attaching them to that tattered Chanel suit?

Evelyn: Don't worry, Marge. Her idea of wit is nothing more than an incisive observation humorously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing.

AdolfHipster

Where would you kids like to eat?

THE SPAGHETTI LABORATORY!

FACE-STUFFERS!

Professor Fijay Cornicopia's Fantastic Food Magorium & Great American Steakery!

Dirty Dingus McGee

From Sideshow Bob Roberts

Bob: I]on the radio[/I But it would be terribly myopic of me to blame
all my current woes on one spiky-haired little simpleton.
Barlow: Mm hm, myopic. Or to say the least, intransigent. Now you
mentioned some woes there.
Bob: Well...you see, Birch, I'm presently incarcerated.
I]scene switch to prison where a riot is taking place[/I
Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! Attempted
murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize
for attempted chemistry? Do they?
I]Bob ducks as a toilet smashes overhead[/I


Singers: Without a Mayor Quimby, our town would really sink,
We wouldn't have a tire yard, or a mid-size roller rink.
We wouldn't have our gallows, or our shiny Bigfoot trap,
It's not the mayor's fault that the stadium collapsed.
Voice: Quimby. If you were running for mayor, he'd vote for you.
Paid for by the "Mayor Quimby for Mayor" Mayoral Committee.



Abe: That Quimby fellow promised to build us a Matlooock Expressway.
How're you going to top that, smart guy?
Bob: Hmm. Well, how's this? I'll not only build the expressway, I
will spend the rest of this afternoon patiently listening to your
interminable anecdotes.
Abe: Hot ziggety-zam! Me first.
I]old people surround Bob, grinning[/I
Not many people know I owned the first radio in Springfield.
Weren't much on the air then, just Edison reciting the alphabet
over and over. "A!" he'd say, then "B". "C" would usually follow
--
Bob: I]groans[/I Oh...

Omackeral

Marge: This town is a part of us all... a part of us all... a part of us all! Sorry to repeat myself but It'll help you remember!

*Bart replays the voice in his head later*
Bart: Hey that does work.




Bart: Milhouse, you and me will be Omega team, Todd, you and Data are 'Team Strike Force'. Nelson, that leaves you and Martin.
Martin: Team Discovery Channel!
Nelson: Aww... your wussiness better come in handy




Milhouse: Is this the untimely end of Milhouse?
Milhouse #2: But Milhouse is my name!
Milhouse: But I thought I was the only one!?
Milhouse #2: A pain I know all too well...
Milhouse: So this is what it feels like... when doves cry!

dr.fuzzenstein

Lisa: [picks up a pencil holder] Ooh, I want to get the Krünk.
Marge: Mmmm, you don't want something that overshadows the pencils. [holds up another pencil holder] How about this Pöpli?
Lisa: Mom, no! Everyone at school picks on the Pöpli kids..even I do. [under her breath] I just hate them so much.

wnolan1992

Marge: The way I see it, if you raise three kids who can knock out and hog-tie a complete stranger, you must be doing something right.


:pac:

Absolutely love the Babysitter Bandit episode. Noticed something in it there earlier that I'd never noticed before - Arnie Pie in the Sky? Originally Bill Pie!

Sunglasses Ron

Various celebrities and first ladies posing with those moronic "bring back our girls"/ "real men don't but girls" placards struck me as being about as meaningful and productive bandwagoning as this was.

Jester252

Love Homer to the Max, can't think of a single quote without laughing. Also contains my number one Simpsons line

Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson! I don't want to snuggle with Max Power.
Homer: Nobody *snuggles* with Max Power, Marge. You strap yourself in and feel the Gs.

Jester252

Love Homer to the Max, can't think of a single quote without laughing. Also contains my number one Simpsons line

Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson! I don't want to snuggle with Max Power.
Homer: Nobody *snuggles* with Max Power, Marge. You strap yourself in and feel the Gs.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Why is it that, when I head the word "school", followed by the word "exploded", I immedaitely thought of the word "SKINEEEERRRRR!!!!!"

Sunglasses Ron

Jester252 wrote: »

Love Homer to the Max, can't think of a single quote without laughing. Also contains my number one Simpsons line

Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson! I don't want to snuggle with Max Power.
Homer: Nobody *snuggles* with Max Power, Marge. You strap yourself in and feel the Gs.

This. :pac:

His gesticulating as he says it kills me :pac:

AdolfHipster

Don't you kids know anything? The serpent of Rehoboam? The well of Zohassadar? The bridal feast of Beth Chadruharazzeb?

dr.fuzzenstein

AdolfHipster wrote: »

Don't you kids know anything? The serpent of Rehoboam? The well of Zohassadar? The bridal feast of Beth Chadruharazzeb?

Jesus?

eoin1981

Pat Custard wrote: »

A gun is not a weapon Marge .. it's a tool, like a butchers knife or a harpoon .or .... an alligator. If we didn't have a gun the King of England could barge in here and start pushing you around .. do you want that ?? huh ?? do ya ??

Krusty - "We need guns to defend ourselves, shoot large and delicious animals and for keeping the king of England out of your face"

haro124

Martin: Uh, sir, why don't you just use real cows?
Painter: Cows don't look like cows on film. You gotta use horses.
Ralph: What do you do if you want something that looks like a horse?
Painter: Eh, usually we just tape a bunch of cats together.

toastedpickles

Excuse me, Edna. I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X, in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!

Sex Cauldron!? I thought they closed that place down!?

pajor

"And dad, well you kind of went berserk when Burns couldn't remember your name."

"BERSERK IS RIGHT!! :mad:
May I have some ice tea please?"

Welsh Megaman

You think THAT'S beeeeeed?

Remember the time we met that yellow family from Springfield in a feeble attempt to revive ratings?