Dental plan!

RobbingBandit

Mark Hamill: Homer, use the for...

Homer: The Force?

Mark Hamill: The forks, use the forks!

Homer: Oh...

RobbingBandit

Mark Hamill: Hey, thanks, everybody. You know, I'm here today as Luke Skywalker, but I'm also here to talk about Sprint. As you can see here, you stand up to save up to seventeen cents a month over the more dependable providers.

Database: Talk about Star Wars.

Homer: Shut up you stupid nerds, he's trying to save you money on long distance calls.

Welsh Megaman

Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care,
Jimmy Crack Corn and I'm not there,
We built this city on rock and rolllll,
Something something day.

haro124

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

:pac:

Somewhat like Buns trying to flog his sanitised life story to filmmakers.

"Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit!

Spielbergo: Schindler es bueno, Señor Burns es el diablo!!

haro124

Kent Brockman: Tragic news tonight: 120 dead in a tidal wave in Kuala Lala...pure. Kuala Lum...pur...France!

Agent Smith

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Any more non quotey posts and I challenge you all to claw plach.

Now rise for the national anthem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v2Gd5xYM70

That Joke is so so Much better when the link plays Ghost town by the specials :pac:

wnolan1992

Homer: Linguo! Dead!?
Linguo: Linguo is deeeeaaaaddddd...

ivytwine

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Homer: Linguo! Dead!?
Linguo: Linguo is deeeeaaaaddddd...

Sentence fragment is also a sentence fragment!

wnolan1992

ivytwine wrote: »

Sentence fragment is also a sentence fragment!

...

Must conserve battery power.

Sunglasses Ron

[Bart has joined the Bigger Brother program to spite Homer]

Tom: Come on, Bart, you know you're not supposed to talk to strangers.
Homer Simpson: For your information, I'm his father!
Tom: [angrily] His father... the drunken gambler?
Homer Simpson: [pleasantly] That's right! And who might you be?

jebuz

PAINT MY CHICKEN COOP!

dr.fuzzenstein

jebuz wrote: »

PAINT MY CHICKEN COOP!

Make me!

ivytwine

Settle down, nobody cares about your blintzes...

[I love Krusty's expression when he says that].

Dirty Dingus McGee

I just read Maya Angelou died


Kent Brockman : Alright, does anyone have a question for our panel that's not about how much money they make?
[Audience's hands go down]
Lenny: [at microphone] Uh yeah, I'm a techno-thriller junkie, and I'd like to know, is the B-2 bomber more detectible when it rains?
Kent: Oh, what do you think, Tom Clancy?
Tom Clancy: Well, the B-2--
Lenny: No, no, no, I was asking Maya Angelou!
Maya Angelou: The ebony fighter awakens, dabbled with the dewy beads of morn.
Moe: Maya Angelou is black?
Maya Angelou: It is a mach-5 child, forever bound to suckle from the shriveled
breast of congress.
Lenny: Oh, Maya, you're a national treasure!

Rega

I got that joy joy joy joy down in my heart.

Where?

Down in my heart to stay.

paddylonglegs

HOVER BIKES!!!!!!

Heisenberg1

[Dr. Velimirovic and his nurse prepare Moe, who lies on the operating table with his eyes closed, for surgery]
Nurse: Hoo-boy, what a mug.
Dr. Velimirovic: Yeah, you should see his genitals. Would you like to see them?
Moe: I'm awake


Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

Moe: Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch 'em in the face, and for what?

Moe: They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.

Heisenberg1

Homer: "Homer no function beer well without."

Rev. Lovejoy: (preaching at church) This so called "new religion" is nothing more than a bunch of weird rituals designed to take away the money of fools. Now, let's say the Lord's prayer 40 times but first let's pass the collection plate.

Ned: Looks like slim pickings today there, Reverend.
Lovejoy: Oh, my, uh... try the emergency plate, Ned.

Ned: I don't think that gonna do it.

Glen: Your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years, then something might open up in a double.

Homer: Why even unpack?

Homer: Wait, I'm confused about the movie ... so the cops knew Internal Affairs was setting them up?

Glen: What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in there.

Homer: Well, you see when I get bored I make up my own movies. I have a very short attention span.
Jane: But our point is very simple, you see when...

Homer: Oh look! A bird! Hee hee hee!
[Homer runs after the bird]

Sunglasses Ron

Not so much a quote as a very clever blackboard message from late 2000. :pac:

http://bartsblackboard.com/files/2010/02/The.Simpsons.S12E02.jpg

Unfortunately it was not long after this that the Simpsons ceased almost entirely its previous occasional little jabs of sharp political satire (although I pretty much stopped looking out for new episodes about 2002 or 03 I don't ever recall any of them taking the piss out of Bush the way they did repeatedly Bush Sr, Clinton, the Kennedy's, Nixon and so on. Too edgy post 9/11?)

Dirty Dingus McGee

From Barts Comet


Bart: Who names these things [the constellations] anyway?
Skinner: Whoever discovers them. I've been hoping I could find
something that would be named after me.
Bart: And you've never found anything?
Skinner: Once...but by the time I got to the phone, my discovery had
already been reported by Principal Kahoutek...
I got back at him, though...him and that little _boy_ of his.
Anyway, that's why I always keep a cellular phone next to me.




Skinner: Now, this morning we're going to be mapping a small square of
sky that's thought to be empty. It's my hope that it's not.
Bart: So what am I supposed to do exactly?
Skinner: Just write down my findings as I give them to you. Six hours nineteen minutes right ascension, fourteen degrees twenty-two
minutes declination: no sighting.
Bart:Mm hmm.
Skinner: Six hours nineteen minutes right ascension, fourteen degrees
twenty-three minutes declination: no sighting.
Bart: Mm hmm.

Skinner: Six hours nineteen minutes right ascension, fourteen degrees
fifty-eight minutes declination: no sighting. Did you get that one Bart?
Bart: Hell no?
Skinner: Good.

dr.fuzzenstein

Hi, I'm Big Butt Skinner!

haro124

Groundskeeper Willy: If I wanted to see a man eat an orange, I'd have taken the orange eating class.
(cut to orange eating class)
Moleman: The eating of a good orange is a lot like a successful marriage.
Grampa: Just eat the damn orange!

haro124

Bart: (reading Homer's written cue cards) Hello, Mr... Kurns. I bad want... money now. Me sick.
Homer: Oooh, he card-reads good.
Bart: So pick please me, Mr. Burns.
Homer: It's Kurns, stupid!

allanb49

Marge: While you were out "earning" that dollar, you lost $40 by not going to work. The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!

allanb49

Abortions for all

Boo!!!!

Abortions for no one

Boo!!!!

Abortions for some, Miniture American flags for others

YAY!!!!!!

allanb49

Hello? That sounds like a pig fainting!

toastedpickles

Eh mr president, why are you holding hands with your opponent?

We are merely exchanging protein strings, if you have a better way of doing it i think you should suggest it

suicide_circus

Jay Leno: "These days people like observational humor, about things they deal with in everyday life.”

Krusty:“Oh yeah, you mean like when your lazy butler washes your sock garters, and they’re still covered with schmutz!?”

Krusty: “Well, kind of.”

michaelr666

Lisa is praying in church after the doors are frozen

Bart: Lisa, this is neither the time, or the place."

allanb49

You're out there somewhere beer baron, and i'll find you