Dental plan!

Lyrical

Lisa: What position have you got for me?
[the kids gasps]
Lisa: That's right. A girl who wants to play football. How about that?
Ned: Well, thats super-duper, Lisa. We've already got four girls on the team.
Lisa: You do?
Ned: Uh huh. But we'd love to have you on board!
Lisa: Well... football's not really my thing. After all... what kind of civilized person would play a game with the skin of an innocent pig?
Ned: Well, actually, Lisa, these balls are synthetic!
Janey: And for every ball you buy, a dollar goes to Amnesty International!
Lisa: [crying] I've gotta go!

Orim

Mother Simpson: [sings] How many roads must a man walk down / Before you can call him a man...
Homer: Seven.
Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question.
Homer: OK, eight.
Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?
Homer: Do *I* know what "rhetorical" means?

ivytwine

You're on your own!

suicide_circus

Moe: Awww boy, looks like it's suicide again for me.

corblimey

Homer's Brain: Don't you get it? You've got to use reverse psychology.
Homer: That sounds too complicated.
Homer's Brain: OK, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: All right, I will!

the groutch

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

LENNY Mmm, I wonder what makes it turn.

It's a secret (Shut Up!)

Omackeral

Whoa that's good squishy!!!!

What's it like Bart....Bart....Bart?!

Gjygglngtfjirwweiiizzzzasfhiigdd!@!!!@!

Galway K9

Homer arrives at Moe's.

Moe: Well, well. Look who it is, Mr. "I Don't Need Alky-hol to Enjoy Life." We hate him, right fellas?
Barflies: [grumble]
Homer: Moe, give me a beer.
Moe: Hey everybody, Homer's back.
Barflies: [grumbles]

wnolan1992

Omackeral wrote: »

Whoa that's good squishy!!!!

What's it like Bart....Bart....Bart?!

Gjygglngtfjirwweiiizzzzasfhiigdd!@!!!@!

LET'S GO CRAZY BROADWAY STYLE!

McChubbin

Utter: Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!

Dirty Dingus McGee

wnolan1992 wrote: »

LET'S GO CRAZY BROADWAY STYLE!

Bart and Milhouse:Springfield,Springfield its a hell of a town.
The schoolyards up and the shopping malls down.
The stray dogs go to the animal pound.
Springfield! Springfield!

Sailor:New York! New York!

Bart and Milhouse: New York is that way man

Sailor: Thanks Kid

dan1895

"Good-day sir, you look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife"

corblimey

Faith Crowley: And here are your V.I.P. badges. These will get into place regular tourists never get to see!
Homer: Oh, miss! What does the "I" stand for?
Faith Crowley: Um... "Important."
Homer: Oh, okay. What about the "V"?
Faith Crowley: "Very."
Homer: Miss, just one more que-
Faith Crowley: "Person."
Homer: Uh-huh... What does the "I" stand for again?

dr.fuzzenstein

McChubbin wrote: »

Utter: Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!

No jokes, no taunting--That kid's got bosoms! Somebody get me a wet towel! C'mere you butterball.

Galway K9

On the YLYL6

FarmerBrowne

Needs more dog

RainyDay

Supernintendo Chalmers: The second that boy fails, we're knocking down this school.
Principle Skinner: Please have a little faith.
Supernintendo Chalmers: I hear you, Seymour. (shouts out window to man in JCB) Start the upswing!

wnolan1992

Why I laugh?

Nerdkiller1991

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Why I laugh?

Because you lose brain. UH OH!

Jikashi

Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »

Because you lose brain. UH OH!

Now, let's get back to that... building thingy... where our beds and T.V... is.

Galway K9

Ralph: What's a battle?
Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, lets go.
Superintendent Chalmers: Did that boy say what's a battle?
Principal Skinner: No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.
Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle.
Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so--
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's?

paddylonglegs

Galway K9 wrote: »

Ralph: What's a battle?
Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, lets go.
Superintendent Chalmers: Did that boy say what's a battle?
Principal Skinner: No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.
Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle.
Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so--
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's?

I love their weird ad lib banter

paddylonglegs

Homer:
"Now I'm in Australia
Now I'm in America
Now I'm in Australia
Now I'm in America
Australia
America
'stralia
'merica
*PUNCH

ivytwine

paddylonglegs wrote: »

Homer:
"Now I'm in Australia
Now I'm in America
Now I'm in Australia
Now I'm in America
Australia
America
'stralia
'merica
*PUNCH

HERE IN AMERICA, WE DON'T TOLERATE THAT KIND OF CRAP, SIR!!

snaphook

*surveying a fatal car crash scene*

What a terrible waste.........Hi. I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot."

corblimey

Doctor: Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
Mr. Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?!
Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have thousands of diseases that have just been discovered, in you.
Mr. Burns: You're sure you haven't just made thousands of mistakes?

dub_skav

corblimey wrote: »

Doctor: Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
Mr. Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?!
Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have thousands of diseases that have just been discovered, in you.
Mr. Burns: You're sure you haven't just made thousands of mistakes?

Doctor: We call it, "Three Stooges Syndrome".
Mr. Burns: So what you're saying is, I'm indestructible.
Doctor: Oh, no, no, in fact, even slight breeze could...
Mr. Burns: Indestructible.

Padkir

Crazy Vaclav: She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene.

Kilkenny14

Padkir wrote: »

Crazy Vaclav: She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene.

PUT HER INTO H!

FarmerBrowne

"I want to help you, George Washington"? Pfft, even your dreams are square.