Dental plan!

krudler

Can't believe this thread is still going, I started it nearly 4 years ago :pac:

Duff gardens!...HURRAHHH!

toastedpickles

krudler wrote: »

Can't believe this thread is still going, I started it nearly 4 years ago :pac:

Duff gardens!...HURRAHHH!

The ‘thread’? Hey fellas, the ‘thread’! Well ohh-la-di-da, mister Frenchman :pac:

wnolan1992

I want to set the record straight.

I thought the cop was a prostitute.

dr.fuzzenstein

krudler wrote: »

Can't believe this thread is still going, I started it nearly 4 years ago :pac:

Duff gardens!...HURRAHHH!

And so we all sing together, duff beer for me, duff beer for you, I'll have a duff, you'll have one too!

Dirty Dingus McGee

I am the lizard queen!

Omackeral

toastedpickles wrote: »

The ‘thread’? Hey fellas, the ‘thread’! Well ohh-la-di-da, mister Frenchman :pac:

Well what do you call it?

A topic-hole.

Royce McCutcheon

Barney: Hey Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left. Yeah yeah, Oh Barney's right. Yeah, lets get some more beer.. yeah.. hey, what about some beer, yeah Barney's right..
Homer: Alright, pipe down everybody!

Genghiz Cohen

Omackeral wrote: »

Well what do you call it?

A topic-hole.

A counterfeit quote ring operating out of my topic hole! I'm gonna tell everybody!
Mods: Not so fast.
[walks slower]
Mods: Maybe you should just stop altogether.

Dirty Dingus McGee

http://deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/homerthevigilante12_thumb.png?w=512&h=384.jpg


“Well, as you can see, when the burglar trips the alarm, the house raises from its foundations and runs down the street, around the corner to safety. . . . Well, the real humans won’t, uh, won’t burn quite so fast in there.”

Hockney

Dear Homer

I.O.U one
emergency donut

Signed

Homer




Homer: He's always one step ahead!

corblimey

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

I am the lizard queen!

Man: [Hands Selma some pills] Give her this... [a couple more pills] and this... [a whole pocketful of pills] and then these.
Selma: Mmmm... thank you, doctor.
Man: Oh, I'm not a doctor.

Jikashi

-Before we begin, is anyone here an investigative reporter?
-I am, and she is.
-Well, I’d like you to please leave.
-Should we take our hidden camera?
-Would you?
-Let’s go, Phil.

Limerick Dude

dub_skav wrote: »

Doctor: We call it, "Three Stooges Syndrome".
Mr. Burns: So what you're saying is, I'm indestructible.
Doctor: Oh, no, no, in fact, even slight breeze could...
Mr. Burns: Indestructible.

And this cute little cuddlebug is Pancreatic Cancer

Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop....Move it Chowder Head!

Galway K9

Limerick Dude wrote: »

And this cute little cuddlebug is Pancreatic Cancer

Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop....Move it Chowder Head!

Indestructible!

Orim

Homer: Oh, I hate folding sheets.
Marge: That's your underwear, Homer.
Homer: Well, whatever it is, it's a two-man job.

dub_skav

Orim wrote: »

Homer: Oh, I hate folding sheets.
Marge: That's your underwear, Homer.
Homer: Well, whatever it is, it's a two-man job.

Salesman: Well, sir, many of our clients find pants
confining, so we offer a range of alternatives for the ample
gentleman: ponchos, muumuus, capes, jumpsuits, unisheets,
muslim body rolls, academic and judicial robes --
Homer: I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a
muumuu.

corblimey

Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, you're fired.
Principal Skinner: Did you just call me a liar?
Superintendent Chalmers: No, I said you were fired.
Principal Skinner: Oh. That's much worse.

toastedpickles

Where’d you get the sugar for that tea?!

I nicked it, when you let your guard down for that split second, and I’d do it again.

Welsh Megaman

Bite my shiny metal ass!










I'll see myself out.

Noccy_Mondy

Bart: "Skinner says the teachers will crack any minute!"
[The teachers spread the message to one another]
Teacher with glasses: "Skinner says the teachers will crack any minute, purple monkey, dishwasher"
Edna: "WELL!! We'll show him! Especially for that purple monkey, dishwasher remark!"

Galway K9

Noccy_Mondy wrote: »

Bart: "Skinner says the teachers will crack any minute!"
[The teachers spread the message to one another]
Teacher with glasses: "Skinner says the teachers will crack any minute, purple monkey, dishwasher"
Edna: "WELL!! We'll show him! Especially for that purple monkey, dishwasher remark!"

Bart: What do you mean the bank's out of money? Insolvent. You only have enough cash for the next three customers.
(customers go wild)
Bank Teller: I...I don't have your money. It's...it's in Bill's house and in Fred's house.
Moe: Hey what are you doing with my money in your house Fred?

chops018

Lenny: Hey, isn't that Homer on the Japanese channel?
Moe: Wait a minute. If that's Homer, who's been putting beers on his tab?
Barney: [dressed unconvincingly as Homer] D'oh! Woo-hoo! Uh.... That boy ain't right!

toastedpickles

After the day i've had this sums it up nicely

Moe: you go through life, you try to be nice to people,you struggle to resist the urge to punch em in the face...and for what?

FarmerBrowne

Oh, my boating arm!

Riddle101

Barney: Next they're going to show my movie.
Bart: You made a movie?
Barney: I made a movies? No wonder I was on the cover of entertainment weekly.

Woman in audience complements Barney's movie
Barney: You're very kind.
Woman: Excuse me, did something crawl down your throat and die?
Barney: It didn't die.

Barney: My name is Barney Gumble, and i'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble this is a girl scout meeting.
Barney: Is it? Or is it that you can't admit you have a problem.

Mr. Burns: OK, Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
Sr. Spielbergo: Schindler es muy bueno, Senor Burns es el diablo.
Mr. Burns: Pish posh! Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod! We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it!

corblimey

Homer: Look at this, Marge: $58 and all of it profit! I'm the smartest businessman in the world.
Marge: Stampy's food bill today was $300.
Homer: Marge, please, don't humiliate me in front of the money.

Galway K9

Riddle101 wrote: »

Barney: Next they're going to show my movie.
Bart: You made a movie?
Barney: I made a movies? No wonder I was on the cover of entertainment weekly.

Woman in audience complements Barney's movie
Barney: You're very kind.
Woman: Excuse me, did something crawl down your throat and die?
Barney: It didn't die.

Barney: My name is Barney Gumble, and i'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble this is a girl scout meeting.
Barney: Is it? Or is it that you can't admit you have a problem.

Mr. Burns: OK, Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
Sr. Spielbergo: Schindler es muy bueno, Senor Burns es el diablo.
Mr. Burns: Pish posh! Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod! We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it!

Ah yes, that episode was on last night Classic episode.

snaphook

toastedpickles wrote: »

Where’d you get the sugar for that tea?!

I nicked it, when you let your guard down for that split second, and I’d do it again.

*slurp*.......Goodbye.

sparkthatbled

For once I have one that hasn't already been posted! It's from S01E03 "Homer's Odyssey"

*Ad on TV for Duff*
Homer: Beer, now there's a temporary solution!"

Sky King

Let's take a look at the crew a little....They're a colorful bunch. They've been dubbed "the Three Musketeers". Heh heh heh ..And we laugh legitimately.
There's a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician.... and a statistician.