Dental plan!

dr.fuzzenstein

Did that salesman cut one in the car?

HalloweenJack

toastedpickles wrote: »

After the day i've had this sums it up nicely

Moe: you go through life, you try to be nice to people,you struggle to resist the urge to punch em in the face...and for what?

Reminds me of one of my favourite Gil quotes:

Oh, this is bad, this is really bad! You work, and you slave, and you steal
just enough for a sweet lick of that shiny brass ring... don't I get a lick?
Doesn't Gil get a lick?

corblimey

Smithers: Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything, I'd just like to say that.... I... love you.
Burns: Hm?
Smithers: In those colors! (to himself) Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time!

Orim

"Hall of Famer Whitey Ford now on the field pleading with the crowd for... for some kind of sanity...
And a barrage of pretzels now knocking Whitey Ford, unconscious.
...this is a black day for baseball"

Dirty Dingus McGee

Sometimes when going to watch Offaly play I feel like following Homers lead and shouting.

"Hurry up and lose so we can all get outta here!"

ivytwine

Orim wrote: »

"Hall of Famer Whitey Ford now on the field pleading with the crowd for... for some kind of sanity...
And a barrage of pretzels now knocking Whitey Ford, unconscious.
...this is a black day for baseball"

You could call them Whitey Whackers!

FarmerBrowne

For the day that is in it:

Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.

wnolan1992

Tape: All is well... all is well... all is well.... TURN TAPE OVER!

Homer: We leave the kids with you for 3 hours and county takes them away?!
Grandpa Oh bitch, bitch, bitch!

Homer: I'm only fit to take care of this houseplant... LOUSY HOUSE PLANT! [starts strangling]

Cletus: Papa, I cut myself on the screen door again!
Homer: WHY YOU COTTON PICKIN'! [starts strangling]
[pause]
Wait, no. I've got to pass this class for my kids... Son, let's stop all this fussin' and a feudin'.
Cletus: I LOVE YOU PA!
Homer: I LOVE YOU TOO CLETUS!

Dirty Dingus McGee

FarmerBrowne wrote: »

For the day that is in it:

Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.

HOMER: Hmm, I bet this place sells illegal fireworks ... just act casual, like you buy them all the time.
Yeah, uh, why don't you give me that porno mag ... bottle of Old Harper ... box of condoms ... some panty shields ... illegal fireworks -- and a disposable enema. Meh, make that two!
EMPLOYEE: Sorry sir but the sale of illegal fireworks is strictly forbi -- (notices customer leaving) come with me.


MARGE: (later, seeing what Homer bought) Hmmm, I don't know what you have planned for tonight, Homer, but you can count me out.

dr.fuzzenstein

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Tape: All is well... all is well... all is well.... TURN TAPE OVER!

Homer: We leave the kids with you for 3 hours and county takes them away?!
Grandpa Oh bitch, bitch, bitch!

Homer: I'm only fit to take care of this houseplant... LOUSY HOUSE PLANT! [starts strangling]

Cletus: Papa, I cut myself on the screen door again!
Homer: WHY YOU COTTON PICKIN'! [starts strangling]
[pause]
Wait, no. I've got to pass this class for my kids... Son, let's stop all this fussin' and a feudin'.
Cletus: I LOVE YOU PA!
Homer: I LOVE YOU TOO CLETUS!

Toilet paper hung in improper overhand fashion?!

wnolan1992

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Toilet paper hung in improper overhand fashion?!

Dogs mating on living room table?!

Wise Old Elf

Stupid babies need the most attention

ivytwine

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Cletus: Papa, I cut myself on the screen door again!
Homer: WHY YOU COTTON PICKIN'! [starts strangling]
[pause]
Wait, no. I've got to pass this class for my kids... Son, let's stop all this fussin' and a feudin'.
Cletus: I LOVE YOU PA!
Homer: I LOVE YOU TOO CLETUS!

Goodman: That's OK, because making a happy home isn't like flipping on a light switch.
Cletus: Uhhhhh, light switch?

TerrorFirmer

Salesman: "But surely you can't put a price on your family's lives!"

Homer: "I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are."

RainyDay

Comic Book Guy: Come back, those are prescription pants

toastedpickles

Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?

Yes!

haro124

Chief Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news; your husband was found DOA.

Marge: Oh my God! He's dead?!

Chief Wiggum: Oh, wait, I mean DWI. I always get those two mixed up.

Mrs. Phillips: My name's Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband's DWI?

Chief Wiggum: Um, why don't you talk to that officer over there? I'm going out to lunch.

Noccy_Mondy

toastedpickles wrote: »

Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?

Yes!

Supernintendo: May I see it?

Seymour: ...No.

Agnes: Seymour, the house is on fire!

Seymour: No, mother. It's just the Northern Lights.

Supernintendo: Well, Seymour, you're an odd fellow. But I must say you steam a good ham.

Noccy_Mondy

Especially for you pickles

Tall Man: Do you find something comical about my appearance when I am driving my automobile?
Nelson: Yes.
Tall Man: Everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall.
[points to his Beetle]
Tall Man: This was the largest auto I could afford. Should I therefore be made the subject of fun, huh?
Nelson: I guess so.
Tall Man: Would you like it if others laughed at YOUR misfortune, hmm? Maybe we should find out!
Tall Man: [Tall man pulls down Nelson's pants and commands him to walk down the main street] Nowwww march!
Tall Man: [honks his car horn while driving behind Nelson] Hey, everyone! Look at this; it's that boy who laughs at everyone! Let's laugh at him!
[the entire crowd yells HA-HA! at Nelson]

toastedpickles

Noccy_Mondy wrote: »

Especially for you pickles

Tall Man: Do you find something comical about my appearance when I am driving my automobile?
Nelson: Yes.
Tall Man: Everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall.
[points to his Beetle]
Tall Man: This was the largest auto I could afford. Should I therefore be made the subject of fun, huh?
Nelson: I guess so.
Tall Man: Would you like it if others laughed at YOUR misfortune, hmm? Maybe we should find out!
Tall Man: [Tall man pulls down Nelson's pants and commands him to walk down the main street] Nowwww march!
Tall Man: [honks his car horn while driving behind Nelson] Hey, everyone! Look at this; it's that boy who laughs at everyone! Let's laugh at him!
[the entire crowd yells HA-HA! at Nelson]

Fcuking love that scene :pac:

TerrorFirmer

Noccy_Mondy wrote: »

Supernintendo: May I see it?

Nerdkiller1991

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

wnolan1992

Rod: You sure did bury him deep Daddy!
Ned: Not so deep that the Lord can't find him. And judge him!
Rod and Todd: Yaay!


Lisa: What's going on?
Jasper: It's an old fashioned hole diggin'! By 'gar it's been a while!


On a related note to that second quote, Lidl currently have label makers on sale. I bought one. Now for some mischief... :P

dr.fuzzenstein

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV1LWhNpTJU

toastedpickles

Bonjourrrr..... You cheese eating surrender monkeys

corblimey

Homer: But wait, you can't kill me for being Krusty. I'm not him! I'm Homer Simpson!
Fat Tony: The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club?
Homer: Uh... actually my name is Barney. Yeah, Barney Gumble!
Legs: The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking pictures of my sister?
Homer: Uh... actually my real name is uh... think Krusty, think... Joe Valachi!
Louie: The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about organized crime?
Homer: Benedict Arnold!
Legs: The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?

Sky King

This is a rock concert, not the bleedin....... splish-splash show!

toastedpickles

Ooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop laaaaane!

Oh by the way, I was being sarcastic

Noccy_Mondy

Well duh.

Noccy_Mondy

Homer: I've figured out the boy's punishment. First, he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no egg nog. In fact, no nog, period. And third, absolutely no stealing for 3 months.