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Dental plan!

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    #5702
    Welsh Megaman
    Registered Users Posts: 72,611 ✭✭✭✭Welsh Megaman


    Marge, can you set the oven to cold?


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    #5703
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Marge,where do we keep he socks that don't smell like feet?


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    #5704
    Noccy_Mondy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,845 ✭✭✭Noccy_Mondy


    Homer: (while building a barbeque pit): Yeah, that's one fine lookin'... (The pieces to the BBQ pit fall in the cement) Stupid Lisa! Cement drying. AHH! English side ruined, must use French instructions! Le grille? What the hell is that?!?
    Ah, that's one fine lookin' barbeque pit. (puts the box down) Why doesn't mine look like that?! (hits the barbeque pit) Why must everything in life be so hard? Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry!?
    Marge (to Bart): How's your father's project coming along?
    Bart: I think he's almost done. (Outside, Homer rams an umbrella into the pit and it opens) He's done.

    *****

    Marge: You've created something people truly love. You really are an artist.
    Homer: No, I'm just a nut who couldn't build a barbecue. You'll always be the artist in this family.

    (While at the museum) Homer: Aw, why does art hate me? I never did anything to art. (notices that his arm is stuck through a painting) Uh, let's get out of here.


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    #5705
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,131 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Just heard Krusty may be the character they are killing off.:(:(:(

    His best line imo.

    Krusty:I'm gonna' need a shoebox full of blow to get through this dreck.


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    #5706
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    RobbingBandit wrote: »
    Just heard Krusty may be the character they are killing off.:(:(:(

    His best line imo.

    Krusty:I'm gonna' need a shoebox full of blow to get through this dreck.


    Maud Flanders: Excuse me Edna we are not talking about love here We are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!

    Krusty: Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down


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    #5707
    Orim
    Registered Users Posts: 4,971 ✭✭✭Orim


    Let's just say it moved me...TO A BIGGER HOUSE!


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    #5708
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Orim wrote: »
    Let's just say it moved me...TO A BIGGER HOUSE!

    Incontinent old man wins miss teen america.


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    #5709
    DazMarz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    Kids, it's time to tell you about Krusty's expensive new suit... his sexual harassment suit!


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    #5710
    longhalloween
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭longhalloween


    Marge: Homer I'm going out to get something for dinner
    Homer: Steak?
    Marge: No, money's too tight for steak.
    Homer: Steak?
    Marge: Uhhh, yeahhh....steak....


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    #5711
    Lyrical
    Registered Users Posts: 115 ✭✭Lyrical


    Marge Homey, I'm very proud of you, but don't you think you're spending too much time with Ned? Your family needs you too.

    Homer Oh, of course you'd say something like that,Marge.You've hated Ned for years! In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe.

    Marge That was you!

    Homer Love, Marge. Don't hate, love.

    Bart The Flanders are a bunch of geeks, man.

    Homer: The Flandereses are not geeks! OK, Rod and Todd are, and the wife has a thing for me, but she hides it behind a mask of low key hostility but we've gotta give this thing a chance! I want the two families to take a trip together this weekend.

    Bart No way, Jose!

    Homer Yes way!

    Lisa Don't worry, Bart. It seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons. My advice is to ride it out, make the occasional smart-alec quip, and by next week we'll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.

    Bart Ay, caramba!

    Lisa That's the spirit


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    #5712
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,875 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Vegas Wife: Hon, think you could Irish Up this coffee?

    Flanders: Ooo sorry, we don't use the "I" word in this house.


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    #5713
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,875 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Marge: Lisa, you got a letter.

    Lisa: It's from my pen-pal Anya!

    Anya:

    Dear Lisa, as I write this, I am very sad.
    Our president has been overthrown and
    replaced by the benevolent general Krull.
    All hail Krull and his glorious new regime!

    Sincerely, Little Girl.


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    #5714
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,131 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    German Language Krusty: HEIL HEIL


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    #5715
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,131 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Orim wrote: »
    Let's just say it moved me...TO A BIGGER HOUSE!

    Oh, I said the loud part quite and the quite part loud!


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    #5716
    andyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,641 ✭✭✭andyman


    Lisa: "We are insured, aren't we?"

    Marge: "Homer, tell your child what you bought when I sent you to town to get some insurance"

    Homer: "Curse you magic beans!"

    Marge: "Oh, stop blaming the beans"


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    #5717
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,131 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Mr. Burns: I have to raise sixty million dollars or we're out of business.

    Smithers: Why is that, sir?

    Mr. Burns: I told you - I pissed it away!


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    #5718
    RainyDay
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,925 ✭✭✭RainyDay


    Sneed: Heh. You're not going to grow nothing on the old Simpson place. That's why your daddy abandoned it.
    Homer: Aw, what do you know?
    Sneed: Well, I know you're soil pH is up around 9.6 and you need a 7 to 8 max.
    Homer: Oh, that's just superstition. You watch me -- I'll grow something out there.
    Sneed: Not if you're planting Gummi bears.
    Homer: D'oh! [eats a scoop of bears]


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    #5719
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse?


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    #5720
    toastedpickles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,607 ✭✭✭toastedpickles


    63.......OH HE'S DEAD!! i'VE SENT MY ONLY GRANDSON TO A WATERY GRAAAVE......64!! HE FOUND THE TRESURE!!!!


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    #5721
    Trebor176
    Registered Users Posts: 3,413 ✭✭✭Trebor176


    Where Bart, as a vampire, is about to sink his teeth into Lisa's neck:

    Homer: BART! How many times have I told you not to bite your sis. . .Wait! You are a vampire!

    Grampa: [runs into the room with a hammer and a wooden stake] Quick! We have to kill the boy!

    Marge: How'd you know he was a vampire?

    Grampa: He's a vampire? AHHH!
    [runs off]


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    #5722
    Thargor
    Registered Users Posts: 17,935 ✭✭✭✭Thargor


    Still one of funniest lines from any Simpsons episode:

    http://i.imgur.com/uMuP1lu.jpg

    And the way Homer laughs at it.


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    #5723
    ivytwine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭ivytwine


    Grandpa: Yeah, Smingers did it. Case closed. Now where's my hat? I'm going to the outhouse.
    Lisa: We don't have an outhouse.
    Homer: My toolshed! Oh Dad --


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    #5724
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Marge, I'm pulling an all nighter..make a pot of coffee, drink it then start making burgers.


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    #5725
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    Thargor wrote: »
    Still one of funniest lines from any Simpsons episode:

    http://i.imgur.com/uMuP1lu.jpg

    And the way Homer laughs at it.

    Can I borrow a feeling.
    will you lend me a jar of love
    Hurtin hearts need some healing
    Take my hand with your glove of love


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    #5726
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Marge (about the trust fall): Do I have to do this?
    Rev. Lovejoy: No. Even if your husband were here I wouldn't recommend it.


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    #5727
    Jikashi
    Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Jikashi


    It's time for another episode of the Big Ear Family!

    Krusty (wearing giant ears): Honey I'm home! Uh oh, got some wax in my ears. Beeetter clean 'em!
    (holds up giant cotton bud) Huh? Huh?
    (nobody laughs)
    Uuuuugh, this bit goes on for twelve more minutes...


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    #5728
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    Rawr wrote: »
    Vegas Wife: Hon, think you could Irish Up this coffee?

    Flanders: Ooo sorry, we don't use the "I" word in this house.

    /pedant

    Flanders : Ohh, easy on the swears honey bear, we don't use the I word in this house.


    /pedant


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    #5729
    Jikashi
    Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Jikashi


    Business Cat wrote: »
    /pedant

    Flanders : Ohh, easy on the swears honey bear, we don't use the I word in this house.


    /pedant

    [pedant]
    [/pedant]

    :)


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    #5730
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,131 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Thargor wrote: »
    Still one of funniest lines from any Simpsons episode:

    http://i.imgur.com/uMuP1lu.jpg

    And the way Homer laughs at it.

    Poor Kirk :(

    Kirk:I sleep in a racing car, do you?

    Homer:No, I sleep in a big bed with my wife.


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    #5731
    paddylonglegs
    Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    Can I have the car keys lover? I need to change wigs


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