Dental plan!

paddylonglegs

Krusty: my house is dirty, buy me a new one

dr.fuzzenstein

Lyrical wrote: »

Judge: I can see you sincerely want your children back, .............................
Homer: Shut up, Judge!

If you leave milk out, it can go sour. Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool wet sack.

Galway K9

Royce McCutcheon wrote: »

Patterson: Sorry I'm late, everyone. [accusingly to Homer]: Somebody tampered with my brakes.
Homer: Well then you should've been there early.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, he got you there, Ray.
Patterson: Oh, come on, people. This man has promised round-the-clock trash pickup, that's impossible.
Homer: Not if we hire more men, and my men'll do all your messy jobs. They'll wash your car, scrub your shower, air out your stinkables.
Patterson: I can't believe what I'm hearing.
Homer: Well you better turn up your hearing aid, Pops.
Patterson: Pops? I'm only two years older than you.
Homer: Do we want Old Man Patterson here with his finger on the button?
Patterson: What button? What the hell are you talking about?
Homer: [mocking] "What? What? What? What button? Where am I? Who took my false teeth?"

Ray Patterson: Oh gosh. You know, I'm not much on speeches, but it's so gratifying to... leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. You're screwed, thank you, bye.
Moe: He's right. He ain't much on speeches.

ivytwine

Done, and done!

And I mean done!

Noccy_Mondy

#icebucketchallenge

ivytwine

Oooh a head bag! Those are full of... heady goodness.

Sky King

Kent Brockman:
Springfield will have it's first annual 'Do What You Feel' festival this Saturday whenever you feel like showing up. It will be a welcome change to our 'Do As We Say' festival, started by German settlers in 1946.

haro124

Welfare Guy: And you've all passed the drug test. Except for Marge. Marge, you tested positive for crack and PCP.
Marge: Oh my!
*time passes*
Welfare Guy: Okay, the retest says you're clean. Sorry about the mistake.
Marge: The only thing I'm high on is love. Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little LSD is all I need.

corblimey

Homer: Scully, you're cut. Eh, Brooks, Greoning, Simon, you're all cut. Castellaneta, gone. Kavner, cut. Cartwright, cut. Smith, sorry, cut. Azaria and Shearer, you're cut. Firestone, you're cut, so is Judge. Namath, you stay. All of those people are cut. Bill Schultz and Wolf and Silverman. Goldreyer, O'Brien, Doyle, Selman. I don't know what you're doing here because you're all cut. Peitila, Bridge, Kuwawawa. There's so many cuts here, look I just post 'em up and you just see where your name is. Ooh, look at how many cuts there are there. Oh boy, you're cut - all of you. He's cut, I cut you.
Woman in Gracie Films logo: Shh.
Homer: You're cut too, shushy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saKRZEMqdis

Limerick Dude

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

If you leave milk out, it can go sour. Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool wet sack.

And garbage goes into the garbage can people...I can't stress that enough!

Galway K9

Limerick Dude wrote: »

And garbage goes into the garbage can people...I can't stress that enough!

Marge: The only thing I am high on is love! Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little L.S.D. is all I need!
Homer is shocked by what Marge unitentionally said and ushers her out.
Homer: Come on Marge, let us get out of here before they change their minds about us!

The best part of that episode is when you watch it for the first time, and the Social services van pulls out for the NEW FOSTER HOME, and pulls into the flanders next door.

DazMarz

Don't panic! To find Flanders, I just need to think like Flanders!

"I'm a big four-eyed lame-o, and I wear the same stupid sweater every day and-"

THE SPRINGFIELD RIVER!!!

corblimey

Lisa: Dad, is this another one of those situations that could be solved by a simple apology?
Homer: I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

dr.fuzzenstein

Galway K9 wrote: »

Marge: The only thing I am high on is love! Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little L.S.D. is all I need!
Homer is shocked by what Marge unitentionally said and ushers her out.
Homer: Come on Marge, let us get out of here before they change their minds about us!

The best part of that episode is when you watch it for the first time, and the Social services van pulls out for the NEW FOSTER HOME, and pulls into the flanders next door.

Oh no, in the eyes of god they'll be Flandereseseses!

DazMarz

I think that this is one of the more touching moments in this history of The Simpsons. That was one thing that it was able to do, without going overly mawkish or saccharine. It could pull moments of absolute emotion that everyone could relate to.

It's from the episode "Bart Sells His Soul".

Bart trudges home in the rain, having been unable to find the piece of paper with "Bart Simpson's Soul" written on it. Comic Book Guy traded it with Milhouse for Pogs, and has since sold it on and won't tell Bart who he sold it to.

Bart arrives home and starts to pray by his bedside; his voice cracks near tears several times.

Bart: Are you there, God? It's me, Bart Simpson. I know I never paid too much attention in church, but I could really use some of that good stuff now. I'm... afraid. I'm afraid some weirdo's got my soul, and I don't know what they're doing to it. I just want it back... Please? <Bart starts to cry> Oh, I hope you can hear this...

As if by magic, "Bart Simpson's Soul" flutters down onto the bed in front of him. Overjoyed, Bart hugs the paper to his chest. He looks around, and it is Lisa who has dropped the paper in front of him.

Bart: Lisa? You bought this?

Lisa: With the change in my piggybank.

Bart: There's no change in your piggybank!

Lisa: Not in any of the ones you know about...

Bart: (overjoyed, emotional) Oh, Lis'... thank you! <gives her a peck on the cheek>

Lisa: Happy to do it! But you know, Bart, some philosophers believe that nobody is born with a soul. That you have to earn one through suffering and thought and prayer...

Bart is now eating the piece of paper

Lisa: ... like you did last night.

Bart: (flippant) Uh-huh. <burps>

Cut to: Bart sleeping happily, with a smile on his face, his soul back where it belongs




I always just found that moment so nice, and showed how, despite it all, Bart and Lisa do love each other as brother and sister and come through for each other when it really counts.

Dirty Dingus McGee

Bart: Wow, Dad, you took a baptismal for me. How do you feel?
Homer: I]reverently[/I Oh, Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan.
Ned: I]gasps[/I Wait! Homer, what did you just say?
Homer: I said shut your ugly face, Flanders!
Ned: Oh, fair enough.

Me_Grapes

Hmmmm, I don't agree with his Bart killing policy, buuuut, I do approve of his Selma killing policy.

dr.fuzzenstein

Me_Grapes wrote: »

Hmmmm, I don't agree with his Bart killing policy, buuuut, I do approve of his Selma killing policy.

He is building us a Maaaaaaatlock expressway!

dr.fuzzenstein

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

He is building us a Maaaaaaatlock expressway!

Homer: I know what you're up to, Mayor Terwigiger. And no one in my family's going to stand for it!

Old car horn sounds

Grampa: Move your God damn house, son!

corblimey

Lisa: And guess who's been practicing medicine without a license?
(Dr. Hibbert looks nervous)
Lisa: That's right...Homer Simpson!
Homer: D'oh!

ivytwine

corblimey wrote: »

Lisa: And guess who's been practicing medicine without a license?
(Dr. Hibbert looks nervous)
Lisa: That's right...Homer Simpson!
Homer: D'oh!

“Give her this, and this, and then these.”
“Oh, thank you, doctor.”
“Oh, I’m not a doctor.”

spitfireIRL

Mr. Burns: Something is not right about Larry's upbringing. Send for the boys of Yale at once!

(Burns' office. Two admissions officers from Yale are by his desk)

Mr. Burns: Well, how did the interview go?

Male Admissions Officer: Larry made light of my weight, then suggested my motto ought to be "Semper Fudge". Afterwards he told me to "relax" and "forget about it".

paddylonglegs

MILPOOL_____

gregers85

Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New Glasses?
Marge: No..... He looks like something might be disturbing him...
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses...
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities.... but then I'd be afraid of smothering him
Homer: Yeah.... and then we'd get the chair!
Marge: That's not what I meant
Homer: It was Marge, admit it

Omackeral

paddylonglegs wrote: »

MILPOOL_____

Or when playing Bonestorm and he tried to enter his awesome nickname...



"WELCOME THRILLHO"

ivytwine

gregers85 wrote: »

Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New Glasses?
Marge: No..... He looks like something might be disturbing him...
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses...
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities.... but then I'd be afraid of smothering him
Homer: Yeah.... and then we'd get the chair!
Marge: That's not what I meant
Homer: It was Marge, admit it

Has to be one of my favourite conversations on the show!

Orim

gregers85 wrote: »

Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities.... but then I'd be afraid of smothering him
Homer: Yeah.... and then we'd get the chair!
Marge: That's not what I meant
Homer: It was Marge, admit it

Didn't remember this bit at all. Had to check it. What a scene. It's played out so perfectly.

corblimey

Milhouse: Hey, Bart. Check out my new earring. Pretty cool, huh?
Bart: Milhouse, my mom wears earrings. Do you think she's cool?
Milhouse: No, I think she's hot! Sorry, it just slipped out.

Dirty Dingus McGee

Announcer: Attention on deck! Captain Tenille wishes to address you!
Tenille: [clears throat] I'm a man of few words. [pause] Any questions?

wnolan1992

"I like the cut of your jib."
"What's a jib?"
"Hahah! Promote that man!"