Dental plan!

ivytwine

"Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back, suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn’t good enough for her!”
“It’s good to see you Willie.”



THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID THE FIRST TIME YA SAW ME!!!!!

corblimey

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Dear Mom and Dad. I no longer fear Hell because I’ve been to Kamp Krusty. Our nature hikes have become grim death marches. Our arts and crafts center is, in actuality, a Dickensian work house. In the cabin, Bart makes it through the days relying on his unwavering belief that Krusty the Clown will come through. But I am far more pessimistic. I am not sure this letter will reach you as our line of communication has been cut. Now the effort of writing has made me light headed, so I close by saying…Save us! Save us NOW!

...which always puts me in mind of:

Dear Lisa, as I write this, I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown and [voice changes to that of a man] replaced by the benevolent general Krull. All hail Krull and his glorious new regime! Sincerely, Little Girl.

Trebor176

Kent Brockman: Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.

Grampa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

Welsh Megaman

Barney's film had heart, but 'Football In The Groin' had a football in the groin.

Acciaccatura

"My knob tastes funny"

"Please refrain from tasting the knob"

dr.fuzzenstein

Welsh Megaman wrote: »

Barney's film had heart, but 'Football In The Groin' had a football in the groin.

Coming Eudora!

DazMarz

Let's just say it moved me to a bigger house!

Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet...

Burlap_Sack

"drink up, judah ben hurr"

wnolan1992

"Ow! My groin!"

Rega

WELCOME
THRILLHO

dr.fuzzenstein

wnolan1992 wrote: »

"Ow! My groin!"

And the Oscar goes to...

Hidden Cyclone

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such telethons as "Out with Gout '88" and "Let's Save Tony Orlando's House"

haro124

Adjuster: "Just one more question before I approve the case. This place you were at, Moe's, is this a business of some sort?"
Homer's Brain: "Don't tell him you were at a bar. (gasps) But what else is open at night?"
Homer: "It is a pornography store. I was buying pornography."
Homer's Brain: "Heh heh. I would have never thought of that."

Royce McCutcheon

Sideshow Mel: "Touchdown Avenue"? Delightful!
Jimbo: Who ya talkin' to? Your imaginary girlfriend?
Sideshow Mel: Oh! Isn't your mother a well-known whore?
Jimbo: (gasp) You win this round, Mel.

Homer: Are we gonna let politics get in the way of our friendship?
Ray Patterson: Friendship? You told people I lured children into my gingerbread house.
Homer:[Chuckles] Yeah.That was just a lie.

ireland.man

Carl: Hey, I hear we're going to Ape Island.

Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.

Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?

Carl: Apes, but they're not so big.

corblimey

Let's see, social security number: nought, nought, nought ... nought, nought ... nought, nought, nought, two. Damn Roosevelt! Cause of parents' death: got in my way.

corblimey

Arnie Pye: Everything's snowed in, all I can see is white!
Kent Brockman: Arnie, please. The ski conditions.
Arnie Pye: (upside down) Mayday, mayday! I think I'm flying into a mountain! Tell my wife I love--
Kent Brockman: That's great, Arnie.

corblimey

Wiggum: All right, Colossos, you're free to go. But stay away from Death Mountain.
Dr Colossos: (stamps foot) But all my stuff is there!

Hidden Cyclone

Lisa, never ever stop in the middle of a hoedown!

Hidden Cyclone

Kent: When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind? This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be. So, professor: would you say it's time for everyone to panic?

Professor: Yes I would, Kent.

Welsh Megaman

We've been Yentl'd!

corblimey

Grampa: Put it all on 41. [nudges Homer] I've got a feeling about that number.
Croupier: The wheel only goes to 36.
Grampa: Okay, put it all on 36. [nudges Homer] I've got a feeling about that number.

Omackeral

Martin: Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
Bart: Yes.

(In the next shot they all have ice cream)

Nelson: Bart, can we weigh the car at that weigh station?
Bart: Yeah.

Milhouse: Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker?
Bart: I don't see why not.

Hitchhiker: Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
Bart: Yes.

(In the next shot they all have ice cream again)

Hitchhiker: Well, I didn't think I was rehabilitated, but, uh, I think they just needed the extra bed.

wnolan1992

Nelson: "I didn't think he was going to do Moon River, then BAM, second encore!"

Dirty Dingus McGee

Omackeral wrote: »

Martin: Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
Bart: Yes.

(In the next shot they all have ice cream)

Nelson: Bart, can we weigh the car at that weigh station?
Bart: Yeah.

Milhouse: Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker?
Bart: I don't see why not.

Hitchhiker: Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
Bart: Yes.

(In the next shot they all have ice cream again)

Hitchhiker: Well, I didn't think I was rehabilitated, but, uh, I think they just needed the extra bed.

Welcome to Tennessee where Tennesseein' Is Tennebelievin'

RainyDay

Springfield General Hospital - "Quality care or your autopsy is free"

homemadecider

Ah, got you, my rumpy doppleganger!

dr.fuzzenstein

homemadecider wrote: »

Ah, got you, my rumpy doppleganger!

No, that one's already named after me.

wendell borton

"We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it."

paddylonglegs

Love that chewing gum walk
- very wrigley