Dental plan!

Nib

Marge: Do you notice something different about Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No, the way he's been acting. He seems depressed.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I want to see what's bothering Bart, but I'm afraid I'd be smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge. Admit it.

LoganRice

oh, a gym

corblimey

Uhhh, Homer Simpson is a... brilliant man with lots of... well-thought-out, practical ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.

DazMarz

In the episode "Lisa's First Word", I love the promo that Krusty Burger ran, whereby there was a scratchcard promotion and if the USA won a gold medal in the event on the scratchcard, the participant would win a free burger.

This was mirrored in a promotion that McDonald's ran during the 1984 Olympics (of which it was a main sponsor). If the USA won gold, you got a Big Mac, silver got you a large fries and bronze a free soft drink.

Akin to Krusty's promotion, the cards were "rigged" in such a way that they favoured events in which the Soviets and the Eastern Bloc had always traditionally had superiority. But, of course, the Soviets boycotted the Olympics (much as the USA had done in 1980). This resulted in a huge financial disaster for McDonald's in the States, resulting in the USA winning many more medals than was anticipated and forcing McDonald's to give away a lot of free food.

dr.fuzzenstein

I will personally spit in every 50th burger!

RobbingBandit

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

I will personally spit in every 50th burger!

Homer: I like those odds!

Galway K9

Just Like Erkil!

Sheepy99

JUST EAT THE DAMN ORANGE !!

Cake Man

ivytwine wrote: »

I know Weinstein's parents were upset, Superintendent, but I was sure it was a phony excuse. I mean, it sounds so made up: "yom kip-pur"....

Bart: "Seymour, this is an absent slip signed by Nelson's mother. And this is Nelson's English homework. Notice the identical elongated loops on the d's."

Skinner: "Forgery! So he didn't have leprosy!"

FatRat

This gem of an episode was on RTE the last day.

Fat Tony: I don't get it... Everyone loves rats, but they don't wanna drink the rats' milk??

FatRat

I love Fat Tony, another from the film:

Wiggum: Ah sorry, sorry.. no dumping in the lake!

Fat Tony: Fine, I will put my "yard trimmings" in a car compactor

Lou: Uh chief, I think there was a dead body in there.

Wiggum: I thought that too .. until he said "yard trimmings". See.. you gotta learn to listen Lou.

C14N

Brockman: And, in business news, Groovy Grove Juice Corporation has announced it will miss delivery on its third quarter shipment. A spokesman attributed the production shutdown to a half-witted oaf.
Homer: Aww, it was sweet of those guys to blame an oaf. But really, it was my fault.

corblimey

Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Friday: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down.
Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, giros.
Friday: Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet.

DuchessduJour

"Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as: 'The process of removing weeds from one's garden.'"

DazMarz

DuchessduJour wrote: »

"Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as: 'The process of removing weeds from one's garden.'"

Tell us more about you and Marge!

RobbingBandit

My favourite Fat Tony quote.

Louie: Hey I thought you said Troy McClure was dead.

Fat Tony: No, what I said is that he sleeps with the fishes! You see...

Louie: Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo.

Acciaccatura

(Man on TV): "It's 11 o' clock. Do you know where your children are?"

Homer (to TV): "I told you last night, no!"

From Bart After Dark, where he goes to work at a burlesque house

corblimey

Acciaccatura wrote: »

(Man on TV): "It's 11 o' clock. Do you know where your children are?"

Homer (to TV): "I told you last night, no!"

From Bart After Dark, where he goes to work at a burlesque house

His dinner is getting all cold and eaten

Omackeral

Gloria S.: Johnny-boy hasn't been able to cut it, man-wise, for some time, not that I'd want stench of gin and sour defeat pressed against me.
John S.: That's enough, Gloria!
Reverend Lovejoy: John, why don't you speak?
John S.: She never cooks, she doesn't keep a clean house, she
[shouts]
John S.: smokes and she drinks and she talks profanely! She's the queen of the harpies!
Gloria S.: No, I'm not.
John S.: [shouts] Queen of the harpies!
Gloria S.: No, I'm not!
John S.: [shouts] Here's your crown, Your Majesty. Queen of the harpies!
Gloria S.: Get away from me, you swine!

Rawr

Wiggum: You know you're not supposed to go in there. What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?

dr.fuzzenstein

Do you smell that? That's the smell of justice.

wnolan1992

Rawr wrote: »

Wiggum: You know you're not supposed to go in there. What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?

It's funny, in that episode I always thought Wiggum was a divorced/widowed single Dad. I can't remember whether or not Sarah was ever seen before that.

corblimey

I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?

(the monkey's paw closes its finger and a turkey sandwich materializes)

Hey! Not bad. Nice, hot mustard. Good bread. The turkey's a little dry. The turkey's a little dry! Oh, foe, the cursed teeth! What demon from the depths of hell created thee!

DuchessduJour

Mein bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z
Mein bratwurst has a second name, it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N

Generic Dreadhead

For anyone who would like a daily quote:
https://www.facebook.com/SimpsonsQuotesThatNobodyGetsAnymore

Dirty Dingus McGee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orK_jG4LeLA

Hank Scorpio: Hey, look at my feet. You like those moccasins? Look in your closet; there's a pair for you. Don't like them? Then neither do I!
[throws them out the door]
Hank Scorpio: Get the hell outta here! Ever see a guy say good-bye to a shoe?
Homer: I]chuckles[/I Yes, once.

Heisenberg1

"Next, on Exploitation Theatre, it's Blackula, followed by Blackenstein, and the Blunchblack of Blotre Blame!"

Homer: Funky.

The Strawman Argument

Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
Marge: Are you going to eat it?
Homer: (pause) Yes.

Video link in here

ivytwine

DuchessduJour wrote: »

Mein bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z
Mein bratwurst has a second name, it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N

My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R,
My baloney has a second name, it's H-O-M-E-R

Sheepy99

H: "Hello Mr. Burns, this is your mother"

B: "Oh hello Mater sorry about pulling the plug on you and all who'd have thought you'd pull through and live for another 5 decades??"