Dental plan!

Galway K9

Wise Old Elf wrote: »

When a fire starts to burn
There's a lesson you must learn
Something, something then you'll see
You'll avoid catastrophe.....
D'oh!

You tried your best and failed miserably....the lesson is: never try!

Genghiz Cohen

Galway K9 wrote: »

You tried your best and failed miserably....the lesson is: never try!

I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try.

Omackeral

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try.

Lisa: You promised to take us to the lake.

Homer: I promise you kids lots of things. That's what makes me a good father.

Lisa: Actually keeping promises would make you a good father.

Homer: No, that would make me a great father.

ivytwine

Omackeral wrote: »

Lisa: You promised to take us to the lake.

Homer: I promise you kids lots of things. That's what makes me a good father.

Lisa: Actually keeping promises would make you a good father.

Homer: No, that would make me a great father.

Lisa: Fathers have to say that stuff.

Homer: Dad, am I as cute as a bug's ear?

Grandpa: No, you're as homely as a mule's butt!

Precious flower

ivytwine wrote: »

Lisa: Fathers have to say that stuff.

Homer: Dad, am I as cute as a bug's ear?

Grandpa: No, you're as homely as a mule's butt!

Marge: Homey, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?
Homer: Of course not, Marge. Just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident, he didn't wanna have me.
Marge: You didn't wanna have Bart.
Homer: I know, but you're never supposed to tell the child.
Marge: You tell Bart all the time. You told him this morning.
Homer: But when I do it, it's cute.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Precious flower wrote: »

Marge: Homey, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?
Homer: Of course not, Marge. Just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident, he didn't wanna have me.
Marge: You didn't wanna have Bart.
Homer: I know, but you're never supposed to tell the child.
Marge: You tell Bart all the time. You told him this morning.
Homer: But when I do it, it's cute.

Lisa: But it's not fair. Adults always blame kids for everything.
Homer: Well if kids are so innocent why is every bad named after them? "Acting childish." "Kidnapping." "Child abuse."
Bart: What about adultery?
Homer: Not until you're older, son.

Dozen Wicked Words

Homer: So you think you know better than this family, eh? Well as long as you're in my house you'll do what I do and believe what I believe! So butter your bacon!
Bart: Yes father.
Lisa: Mom, dad, my spiritual quest is over!
Homer: Hold that thought... Bacon up that sausage, boy!
Bart: But dad, my heart hurts!

J. Marston

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

Mmmmm, 64 slices of American cheese.

63.

62.

61.

Homer: 2.......................1.

Marge: Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese?

Homer: I think I'm blind.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Lisa: But it's not fair. Adults always blame kids for everything.
Homer: Well if kids are so innocent why is every bad named after them? "Acting childish." "Kidnapping." "Child abuse."
Bart: What about adultery?
Homer: Not until you're older, son.

It's the principle Smithers. Nobody steals from Monty Burns, be it my Sunday newspaper or my loutish oaf of a son.

RobbingBandit

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

It's the principle Smithers. Nobody steals from Monty Burns, be it my Sunday newspaper or my loutish oaf of a son.

Old Jewish Man: The old grey mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...

Cake Man

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Old Jewish Man: The old grey mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...

Snake: "That's Little Bandit! And it sounds like she's in pain! Screw the honour system, Little Bandit needs me"
(Opens unlocked jail and escapes)
"Stop that's my car!"
(Sniffs fumes and coughs)
"That smells like regular!?? She needs premium dude, PREEEEMIUM......DUUUUUUUUDE!"

Mushy

I know this is for quotes, but just saw this on (everybody's favourite site) Joe.ie: http://www.joe.ie/entertainment/pic-here-are-the-top-ten-simpsons-moments-of-all-time-as-selected-by-one-of-the-shows-most-influential-fans/474784

What moments would you have included?

Dirty Dingus McGee

Mushy wrote: »

I know this is for quotes, but just saw this on (everybody's favourite site) Joe.ie: http://www.joe.ie/entertainment/pic-here-are-the-top-ten-simpsons-moments-of-all-time-as-selected-by-one-of-the-shows-most-influential-fans/474784

What moments would you have included?

The Gay steel mill is my favorite moment of all time.

The St Patricks day riot and the 5 minutes slagging off Ireland at the start of the Beer Baron episode would be one of my favorites as well.

Summer wind

You go through life you try to be nice to people
You struggle to resist the urge to smash their face in, and for what?

Pierce_1991

Summer wind wrote: »

You go through life you try to be nice to people
You struggle to resist the urge to smash their face in, and for what?

When the weight of the world has got you down
And you want to end your life,
Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
And problems with the wife,
But don't throw in the towel,
'Cause there's a place right down the block
Where you can drink your misery away.
At Flaming Moe's
(Let's all go to Flaming Moe's,
Let's all go to Flaming Moe's)
Where the liquor in a mug
Can warm you like a hug.
(Flaming Moe's)
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away,
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away!

RobbingBandit

Pierce_1991 wrote: »

When the weight of the world has got you down
And you want to end your life,
Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
And problems with the wife,
But don't throw in the towel,
'Cause there's a place right down the block
Where you can drink your misery away.
At Flaming Moe's
(Let's all go to Flaming Moe's,
Let's all go to Flaming Moe's)
Where the liquor in a mug
Can warm you like a hug.
(Flaming Moe's)
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away,
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away!

Homer: Must kill Moe, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, Must kill Moe, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

FarmerBrowne

Marge: Lisa needs to go to the museum tomorrow, and I think you should take her.
Homer: Museum? Tomorrow? Oh, oh, Marge, I'd love to, but I was planning on...
Homers Brain: Sleeping? Eating a big sandwich? Watching TV? Spending time with the boy!
Homer: Spending time with the boy! The boy needs attention, Marge.
Marge: Homer, I've been talking to Lisa, and I'm concerned about your relationship with her.
Bart : Me too, Mom. I think you're drifting apart.
Homer: Shut up, boy.
Marge: Homer, please.
Homer: Marge, you don't understand. I can't do it because...
Homers Brain: You're trapped. If you were smarter, you might think of something. But you're not, so you just might as well...
Homer: All right, all right, I'll take her. Lousy brain.

iDave

Fine I'll walk in the mud!

Summer wind

Slow down, this pavements for regular walkin, not for fancy walkin!

MUFC91CS

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

Rega

You can do it Otto
You can do it Otto
Help each other out
That'll be our motto

toastedpickles

Hello, joe!

Rega

toastedpickles wrote: »

Hello, joe!

Iron helps us play

From now on the baby sleeps is the crib

RobbingBandit

Bart: Can't sleep clown will eat me.

Because we're on characters mental traumas:

Flinstoes chewable morphine!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

Because we're on characters mental traumas:

Flinstoes chewable morphine!

Simpson - Hom-er Simp-son -
He's the greatest guy in his-tor-eee -
From the - town of Springfield -
He's about to his a chestnut tree...

(Crashes into chestnut tree)

RobbingBandit

Younger Abe: Homer you're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly, if a strange man offers you a ride I say take it.

Nerdkiller1991

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Younger Abe: Homer you're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly, if a strange man offers you a ride I say take it.

"Lousy traumatic childhood!"

Summer wind

Well it's 1 AM, better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.