Dental plan!

Dirty Steve

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Welsh Megaman

Homer Simpson: So, Mr. Malloy, it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him.

Principal Skinner: How ironic.

JaseBelleVie

One of the funniest exchanges on the show ever.

Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?

Homer: New glasses?

Marge: No. He looks like something might be disturbing him.

Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.

Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.

Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.

Marge: That's not what I meant!

Homer: It was, Marge. Admit it.

Dirty Dingus McGee

Mr Burns: Look at that comic book fellow, calmly eating candy like a Spaniard

Galway K9

Episode on now, great line.

Homer: what are the odds of being sick on a Saturday ......1000 to 1.

Trebor176

(On the Plywood Pelican)

Mr. Burns: I only flew it once at an altitude of six feet, for a distance of four feet, then we discovered that rain makes it catch fire, then the Furor fired me.


(After a kite being flown by Mr. Burns is struck by lightning)

Mr. Burns: What's this strange sensation in my chest?

Smithers: I think your heart's beating again.

Mr. Burns: Oh, that takes me back!

dr.fuzzenstein

Marge, where do we keep the socks that don't smell like feet?

Rawr

Trebor176 wrote: »

(On the Plywood Pelican)

Mr. Burns: I only flew it once at an altitude of six feet, for a distance of four feet, then we discovered that rain makes it catch fire, then the Furor fired me.

Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose. Hop in!
Smithers: But sir I...
(Burns pulls out a gun)
Mr. Burns: I said hop in.

Nerdkiller1991

Rawr wrote: »

Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose Moose. Hop in!
Smithers: But sir I...
(Burns pulls out a gun)
Mr. Burns: I said hop in.

Fixed.

RainyDay

From one of my favourite episodes last night;

Maggie hands Moe one of her books to read:

'"Alice in Wonderland," huh? Ah, this must be a takeoff on that Alice in Underpants movie I saw.

Ha. It's nice to be with someone who can't understand the horrible things I say.

White rabbit, chicks popping mushrooms? This is like the Playboy Mansion.'



Mobster Louie: I could whack my own mother now.
Fat Tony: I'm glad you brought that up.
Mobster Louie: Kill my mother? She makes such good pasta sauce.
Mobster Legs: - It comes from a can.
Mobster Louie: - She's a corpse.




Moe: It looks like we have to make a trip to little Italy.
Homer: I'll get our little passports.

RainyDay

And while we're on the subject of mobsters

Welsh Megaman

Martin Prince: [in the Pool-Mobile] Take your best shot! I'm wearing seventeen layers!
[all kids gather around Martin and snatch all of them]
Martin Prince: [gasps] I brought this on myself.
[runs away]

Mooching war widows!

SEPT 23 1989

My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball; but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

MUFC91CS

Artie Ziff: Didn't your father ever read to you?

Lisa: He tried to once but got confused and thought the book was real. He's still searching for that chocolate factory. It consumes him.

Rawr

MUFC91CS wrote: »

a: He tried to once but got confused and thought the book was real. He's still searching for that chocolate factory. It consumes him.

German Plant Owner: We understand, Homer. After all, we are from the land of chocolate!'
Homer: Mmm... The land of chocolate...

====(slips into Land of Chocolate dream)====

German Plant Owner: Homer? Homer?!!

Homer: Oh, I'm sorry. We were talking about chocolate?
German Plant Owner: That was ten minutes ago!

obriendj

German Managers: Attention workers, we have completed our evaluation of the plant. We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order... Simpson, Homer. That is all.

Wise Old Elf

Hello Mr. Thompson





I think he's talking to you.

Every time I see this episode I sing along to this....badly.

Sideshow Bob:

"And a two and a three and
We sail the ocean blue,
And our saucy ship's a beauty;
We're sober men and true,
And attentive to our duty.


I'm called Little Buttercup — poor Little Buttercup,
Though I could never tell why,...


What, never?
No, never!
What, never?
Harldy ever!
He's hardly ever sick at sea!


For he himself has said it,
And it's clearly to his credit,
That he is an Englishman!
He remains an EeeennngLISHmaaaan!"

RobbingBandit

Sideshow Bob: Very well Bart. I shall send you to Heaven before I send you to Hell!

Wise Old Elf

BARTHOWDOYOULIKEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK

Wise Old Elf

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

Every time I see this episode I sing along to this....badly.

Sideshow Bob:

"And a two and a three and
We sail the ocean blue,
And our saucy ship's a beauty;
We're sober men and true,
And attentive to our duty.


I'm called Little Buttercup — poor Little Buttercup,
Though I could never tell why,...


What, never?
No, never!
What, never?
Harldy ever!
He's hardly ever sick at sea!


For he himself has said it,
And it's clearly to his credit,
That he is an Englishman!
He remains an EeeennngLISHmaaaan!"

I, um, never do that, don't know what you're talking about.

Summer wind

I hope you know I'm too tense to pretend I like you.

STOP. BOTHERING. MY. BLANCHE!!

RobbingBandit

Homer:That little nerd saved my life.

Marge:And our marriage. With his latest invention, the snore converter.

Marge:Goodnight, Homie.

Homer:Goodnight, honey.

(SNORING) (SWEET DREAMS MUSIC PLAYING) Artie: He's a loser, Marge. Dump him!

Artie: (SINGING) I travel the world and the seven seas I am watching you through a camera!

reap-a-rat

Sky 1 is on fire this week, rolling out the quality old episodes!

wnolan1992

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

Every time I see this episode I sing along to this....badly.

Sideshow Bob:

"And a two and a three and
We sail the ocean blue,
And our saucy ship's a beauty;
We're sober men and true,
And attentive to our duty.


I'm called Little Buttercup — poor Little Buttercup,
Though I could never tell why,...


What, never?
No, never!
What, never?
Harldy ever!
He's hardly ever sick at sea!


For he himself has said it,
And it's clearly to his credit,
That he is an Englishman!
He remains an EeeennngLISHmaaaan!"

I'm so happy I'm not the only one.

I absolutely lose my nut on the last line every time. "hhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee reeeeemaaaaaaaainnnnnnnnnssss an EEEeeeennnnnnnnggggggggLIIIIIIISSSSSHHHHMAAAAANNNNNNNNN!"

Nerdkiller1991

Wise Old Elf wrote: »

BARTDOYOUWANTTOSEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK

Fixed.

dr.fuzzenstein

It is the biggest injustice in the history of mankind that this thread hasn't gone over 1000 thanks yet.

ivytwine

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

It is the biggest injustice in the history of mankind that this thread hasn't gone over 1000 thanks yet.

Quick everyone thank your post.