Dental plan!

Riddle101

Bart: Hey that's ZZ Top..... YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!
Jewish Guy: Eh maybe a little.

Peregrine

"She'll go three hundred hectares on a single tank of kerosene"

"What country is this car from?"

"It..no longer exists but take her for a test drive and you'll agree zagvranenslogdityev!"


"PUT IT IN H!"

paddylonglegs

Can I see your copy of Swank, Armen?

Omackeral

paddylonglegs wrote: »

Can I see your copy of Swank, Armen?

UP YOURS, CHILDREN!

ivytwine

In some ways I hate that episode, but I love this scene...

Homer: Okay, once more. Where are we going?
Edna: To Capital City.
Homer: And why are you and the old lady in the car?
Agnes: We're gonna talk Armin Tamzarian into coming back.
Homer: And why is Marge here?
Marge: I came up with the idea.
Homer: And why am I here?
Marge: Because the streets of Capital City are no place for three unescorted ladies.
Homer: Why are the kids here?
Marge: Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them.
Homer: And why is Grandpa here?
Abe: Because Jasper didn't want to come by himself!
[Jasper looks at Abe]
Homer: Fair enough.
Abe: Hello beautiful!
Agnes: In your dreams!
Abe: We'll see about that! Zzzzzzz... Hello beautiful!

corblimey

Burns: Alright Simpson, let’s go over the signals. If I tuck the bill of my cap like so...
Homer: Yeah.
Burns: ... it means the signal is a fake.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Burns: However, I can take that off by dusting my hands thusly.
Homer: Got it.
Burns: If I want you to bunt, I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but THRICE....
Homer: (thinks) Uh-oh, I don’t understand a word he’s saying. Why doesn't he just let me bat? I wish I was home with a big bag of potato chips. Mmmm, potato chips.

dr.fuzzenstein

[Marge is filming Homer sitting in the dugout at a softball game. Homer starts to scratch his crotch]
Marge Simpson: Oh, dear.
[points the camera at her feet]
Marge Simpson: Children, tell me when your father stops scratching himself.
[long pause]
Marge Simpson: Kids...?
Bart Simpson: We'll tell you, Mom.

Tarzana2

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10603578_821726411218844_2366983795241956599_n.jpg?oh=21bd6134e092b5b0aede20f2e45ddf29&oe=5564EB46&__gda__=1430007806_99b1e19b922bdab184228bc70cef665a

Just appeared on my FB newsfeed. I genuinely lolled.

Burlap_Sack

Ranger: Hey, what is going on here? Who are you people? This is a lookout post. Where is Ranger McFadden?

Drunk: (slurred; appears to be the ranger) I was just happy to see some of the nice people!

Ranger: Quiet, you drunk. Where's Ranger McFadden?

McFadden: Right here, sir. Right behind the drunk.

Rawr

Burlap_Sack wrote: »

Ranger: Hey, what is going on here? Who are you people? This is a lookout post. Where is Ranger McFadden?

Drunk: (slurred; appears to be the ranger) I was just happy to see some of the nice people!

Ranger: Quiet, you drunk. Where's Ranger McFadden?

McFadden: Right here, sir. Right behind the drunk.

Smokey the Bear Robot: Only who can prevent forest fires?
[out of choices "you" and "me", Bart presses "you"]
Smokey the Bear Robot: You pressed "You" referring to me. The correct answer was you.

Pierce_1991

Sex cauldron! I thought they shut that place down!

Peregrine

After seeing Bart's comet hurtling towards the earth.

E-mail (Nerd kid): Oh, no, no, no, no. This isn't right at all!
Database (Nerd kid): It must be coming toward us with a FANTASTIC speed!

Bart: Huh?
Lisa: Don't you realise what's happening, Bart? Your comet is going to collide with the earth and every living thing in its path will be killed!
Bart: I knew you'd try to find something wrong with my comet, Lisa. You've always been petty and small, right from the beginning.

Rawr

Nim wrote: »

After seeing Bart's comet hurtling towards the earth.

E-mail (Nerd kid): Oh, no, no, no, no. This isn't right at all!
Database (Nerd kid): It must be coming toward us with a FANTASTIC speed!

Bart: Huh?
Lisa: Don't you realise what's happening, Bart? Your comet is going to collide with the earth and every living thing in its path will be killed!
Bart: I knew you'd try to find something wrong with my comet, Lisa. You've always been petty and small, right from the beginning.

Homer: So there's a comet. Big deal. It'll burn up in our atmosphere and whatever's left will be no bigger than a chihuahua's head.

Bart: Wow, dad. Maybe you're right.

Homer: Of course I'm right. If I'm not, may we all be horribly crushed from above somehow.

RhubarbCrumble

Bart: Then that's not the real Ned Flanders.
Flanders: I'm a murderer, I'm a murderer, I'm a mur-diddly-urderer!
Bart: If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework.

One of my top 5 episodes is on now. The Australian one.

TOBIAS!

suicide_circus

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

One of my top 5 episodes is on now. The Australian one.

TOBIAS!

Can I help you m'am?

Yes I....HEY!

Oh my god! There's nothing wrong with the bidet is there?

Tarzana2

"Tonight on 'Wings'... ah, who cares?"

paddylonglegs

Rawr wrote: »

Smokey the Bear Robot: Only who can prevent forest fires?
[out of choices "you" and "me", Bart presses "you"]
Smokey the Bear Robot: You pressed "You" referring to me. The correct answer was you.

I had to do a safe pass course yesterday. I kept being reminded of this scene

Peregrine

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

One of my top 5 episodes is on now. The Australian one.

*Bart playing with his pocket knife*

Australian man: You call that a knife? THIS is a knife!

Bart: That's not a knife, that's a spoon..

Australian man: Alright, alright, you win. Heh. I see you've played knifey-spooney before.

Rawr

Nim wrote: »

*Bart playing with his pocket knife*

Australian man: You call that a knife? THIS is a knife!

Bart: That's not a knife, that's a spoon..

Australian man: Alright, alright, you win. Heh. I see you've played knifey-spooney before.

Marge: I'll just have a cup of coffee.

Bartender: Beer it is.

Marge: No, I said coffee.

Bartender: Beer.

Marge: Cof-fee.

Bartender: Be-er.

Marge: [spells] C-O...

Bartender: [spells] B-E...

Wise Old Elf

Look at them sideburns! He looks like a girl. Now, Johnny Unitas, there's a haircut you could set your watch to.

I have no idea what I was looking for, but I've only just discovered that it was a real guy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Unitas

My brother had a similar moment when he found out the "God said to Noah...." song is also real!

Chancer3001

ITS KERNS STUPID

Nerdkiller1991

Chancer3001 wrote: »

ITS KERNS STUPID

"No it's not!"

Wise Old Elf

Disregard!

wnolan1992

The teacher strike episode is on Sky atm.

Appropriate much? :P

Nerdkiller1991

wnolan1992 wrote: »

The teacher strike episode is on Sky atm.

Appropriate much? :P

At least it isn't a more recent episode. If it was, I'd crack Purple Monkey Dishwasher.

Sideshow bob: Well, Krusty, this is your Waterloo. Soon you'll be...Napoleon Blown-apart.

Spotlight guy: Ugh, terrible.

Sideshow bob: Oh hush up Leo!

Peregrine

wnolan1992 wrote: »

The teacher strike episode is on Sky atm.

Appropriate much? :P

Lisa, get in here. In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Trebor176

[Moe is teaching Bart's class during the teachers' strike]

Moe: OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath?

[The kids laugh at him]

Moe: Alright, settle down. Anita Bath here?

[the laughing continues]

Moe: Alright, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks!

[The kids enjoy even more laughter]

Moe: Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, Kids? Well, children, I can't help that!

[Moe runs out of the classroom]