Dental plan!

Galway K9

haha, Little Timmy fell down the well


Marge: "I got you a sweater so you dont get cold down the well!"
Bart: "Its too big!"
Homer: "Dont worry you'll grow into it!"
Marge:"Homer!!!"

SeaFields

Willie on Santa Little Helpers brief visit - I ate the mess he left on the rug. You heard me!

Hockney

Do you hold a grudge against Mongomery Burns?

No! *BUZZ*

Alrigghhht.....maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him! *DING!*

....checks out. OK sir, you're free to go.

Good! 'Coz I got a hot date tonight! *BUZZ*

A date. *BUZZ*

Dinner with friends. *BUZZ*

Dinner alone. *BUZZ*

Watching TV alone! *BUZZ*

AAWWRRRIIIIIGHHHT!!!!! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret Catalogue! *BUZZ*

*sighs*

Sears Catalogue. *DING!*

My name is URL

FBI man 1: Tell you what, Mr. Simpson, from now on your name is Homer Thompson, from Terror Lake. Let's just practice a bit, hmmmm? So when I say hello Mr. Thompson, you say hi.

Homer: Check!

FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.

[Homer stares blankly]

FBI man 1: Now, remember, your name is Homer Thompson.

Homer: I gotcha!

FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.

[again Homer stares blankly]

[FBI men stare at each other]

FBI man 1: [frustrated] Argh... Now when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.

Homer: No problem.

[stepping hard on Homer's foot]

FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.

....


Homer: [whispering to the FBI man 2] I think he's talking to you.

Ridley

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpoYYC7lut8

"'To lift the spider's curse, simply recite a Bible verse...' Um... 'Thou shalt not...' Ah the hell with it." *clobbers spider with rock*

KeithM89_old

Nobody likes Milhouse!!

Galway K9

Hockney wrote: »

Do you hold a grudge against Mongomery Burns?

No! *BUZZ*

Alrigghhht.....maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him! *DING!*

....checks out. OK sir, you're free to go.

Good! 'Coz I got a hot date tonight! *BUZZ*

A date. *BUZZ*

Dinner with friends. *BUZZ*

Dinner alone. *BUZZ*

Watching TV alone! *BUZZ*

AAWWRRRIIIIIGHHHT!!!!! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret Catalogue! *BUZZ*

*sighs*

Sears Catalogue. *DING!*

"No will ya unhook me from this thing, i dont deserve this sort of shabby treatment!" *BUZZ*

Busi_Girl08

Homer - "Marge, since I am not talking to Lisa, could you ask her to pass me the syrup?"
Marge - "Mmm, Lisa could you pass your father the syrup?"
Lisa - "Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if he promises not to use it on any MEAT products."
Bart - "You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup, Fatboy?"
Homer - "Marge, tell Bart that I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning"
Marge - "Tell hims yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart"
Homer - "Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out"
Marge - "Homer, you're not not talking to me, and besides I heard what you said!"
Homer - "Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case"
Bart - "Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to"
Homer - "Bart, GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

Busi_Girl08

STELLAAAAAA!!! STELLLAAAAAAAA!!!






Can't you hear me yellaaaa, you're putting me through helllaaa...

Steeellaa.... STELLAAAAAA!!!

PerrinV2

Comic Book Guy: "That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore. It is worth one hundred and fifty dollars."

Galway K9

"That flower van has been outside our house all night!"

** Van across road - Flowers
By
Irene

Galway K9

"That flower van has been outside our house all night!"

** Van across road -
Flowers
By
Irene

jd007

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kOQZP4cbrw

smokedeels

"you can run, but you can't glide."

flyton5

"Now you know what to do laddie...burn the house down. Burn em all..."



"People, I eh, would like to remind you that eh, we are not offering a child minding service tonight. I have no idea who that man you gave your kids to is."

*shocked gasps from crowd*

silvervixen84

Dad: If you kids can't keep your hands to yourselves, I'm gonna turn this car around and there'll be no Cape Canaveral for anybody!
(Nelson smacks back of his head)
Dad: That's it, back to Winnipeg!

Risteard

'Ladies and gentlemen what you are seeing is a total disregard for the things St. Patrick's day stands for. All this drinking, violence, destruction of property, are these the things we think of, when we think of the Irish?'

krudler

Thats not Krusty!
What do you think I slapped a clown suit on some wino?
Yeah! I so am Crunchy the Clown!


Shopkeeper: [Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled]
Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

krudler

I sentence you to a lifetime on Monster Island!..dont worry, its just a name.
*cut to Lisa and other people running from monsters*
He said it was just a name!
What he meant was that monster island is actually a peninsula!

krudler

Homer!
Hehe, thats what grownups call me, you call me daddy.
Homer!
daddy..
Homer!
DADDY!
Da..
Da..
Domer, hehehehe

krudler

Mr Simpson, about you life insurance application, under where it says "heart attacks" you crossed out "3" and wrote "0"
Oh that, I thought it said "brain haemorraghes"
I see..and do you drink?
I enjoy a snifter of port at Christmas...

take everything

krudler wrote: »

Thats not Krusty!
What do you think I slapped a clown suit on some wino?
Yeah! I so am Crunchy the Clown!


Shopkeeper: [Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled]
Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

Repairman:
[pointing to a Good/Evil switch on the back of the doll]
Yup, here's your problem. Someone set this thing to ``Evil''.

krudler

Mr Burns (in response to The Ramones singing him happy birthday) Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smither: but sir, those arent the..
Mr Burns: Do as I say!


Where are you going Bart?
I'm going to teach some kids a lesson!
I choose to take that literally!
Yes, Barts a tutor now, tute on son! tute on!

dunnomede?

Mr. Burns: Ketchup. Catsup. Ketchup. Catsup. I'm in over my head.

dan1895

And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled?

take everything

Clown college episode- another one of my favourites:

Homer: That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm
going to clown college! [leaves]
Bart: I don't think any of us expected him to say that.


Krusty: These Krusty brand balloons are three bucks each. But get a
cheap one and what happens? It goes off, takes out the eyeballs
of every kid in the room! What's _that_ going to cost you?
[to accountant] Hey, Bill, what did that cost us?


Man: [walking up] This is the happiest day of my li -- ow!
Krusty: Heh heh.
Homer: [grabs his diploma] Got it! No shock for me, hee hee! [runs off]
Krusty: Oh yeah? [Krusty pounces on him and shocks him repeatedly]

krudler

take everything wrote: »

Clown college episode- another one of my favourites:

Homer: That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm
going to clown college! [leaves]
Bart: I don't think any of us expected him to say that.


Krusty: These Krusty brand balloons are three bucks each. But get a
cheap one and what happens? It goes off, takes out the eyeballs
of every kid in the room! What's _that_ going to cost you?
[to accountant] Hey, Bill, what did that cost us?


Man: [walking up] This is the happiest day of my li -- ow!
Krusty: Heh heh.
Homer: [grabs his diploma] Got it! No shock for me, hee hee! [runs off]
Krusty: Oh yeah? [Krusty pounces on him and shocks him repeatedly]

I'm seeing double! four Krustys!

Johro

Sign on school: 'Tonight. Parent-Teacher Meeting. Sharing the Blame.'

ballsymchugh

their drunken singing is ruining st Patick's day!

Sam Vimes

Milhouse: My mom says I'm cool