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Dental plan!

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    #6602
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Ruth Powers: You sure can see a lot of Springfield from this bluff.

    Marge: Indeed, but there is so much smoke coming from one place. In fact, if I didn't know any better it is coming from our house.

    [Simpson residence. Lionel Hutz is furiously burning papers in fireplace]

    Lisa: Mr. Hutz, why are you burning so many papers?

    Lionel Hutz: As of now Lionel Hutz no longer exists. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!


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    #6603
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Sideshow Bob: Ah, Mr. Simpson, you're forgetting the first two noble truths of the Buddha.
    Homer: I am not!


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    #6604
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    jamesbere wrote: »
    Jane: A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia.
    Homer Simpson: [gets given a leaflet] Hmm. Makes Sense.
    Jane: We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
    Homer Simpson: How much is this free resort weekend?
    Glen: It's free.
    Homer Simpson: And when is this weekend?
    Glen: It's this weekend.
    Homer Simpson: Uh-huh. And how much does it cost?
    Glen: Um, it's free.
    Homer Simpson: I see. And when is it?
    Glen: It's this weekend.
    Homer Simpson: And what are you charging for this free weekend?
    Bart Simpson: Come on, Dad. The team's arriving.
    Homer Simpson: [being dragged away by Bart] It's free, right?

    Homer: Out of my way, jerkass!


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    #6605
    eisenberg1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    Mill house." Bart, trust me, it's better to walk in on both parents, than to walk on just one parent"


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    #6606
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    jamesbere wrote: »
    Jane: A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia.
    Homer Simpson: [gets given a leaflet] Hmm. Makes Sense.
    Jane: We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
    Homer Simpson: How much is this free resort weekend?
    Glen: It's free.
    Homer Simpson: And when is this weekend?
    Glen: It's this weekend.
    Homer Simpson: Uh-huh. And how much does it cost?
    Glen: Um, it's free.
    Homer Simpson: I see. And when is it?
    Glen: It's this weekend.
    Homer Simpson: And what are you charging for this free weekend?
    Bart Simpson: Come on, Dad. The team's arriving.
    Homer Simpson: [being dragged away by Bart] It's free, right?

    Na na na na na na na na, leader!


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    #6607
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »
    Na na na na na na na na, leader!

    BAT-MAN! I mean LEA-DER!


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    #6608
    toastedpickles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,607 ✭✭✭toastedpickles


    The ‘garage’? Hey fellas, the ‘garage’! Well ohh-la-di-da, mister Frenchman.

    Well, what do you call it?

    A car hole!


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    #6609
    Hoop66
    Registered Users Posts: 2,362 ✭✭✭Hoop66


    500 dollaridoos?

    Tobias!


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    #6610
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    Bruno Dundridge: Ooh! Ah, that's it. I'm going to report this to me member of parliament.
    [yells out window]
    Bruno Dundridge: Hey, Gus! I got something to report to you.
    [Later, as Gus tends his swine]
    Gus: That's a bloody outrage, it is! I want to take this all the way to the Prime Minister.
    [they go down to a lake]
    Gus: Hey! Mr. Prime Minister! Andy!
    Prime Minister: [floating naked on an inner tube with a beer] Eh, mates! What's the good word?


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    #6611
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Marge: I feel so guilty. The Van Houtens split up at our party.

    Homer: Marge, please that was 20 minutes ago.


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    #6612
    reap-a-rat
    Registered Users Posts: 1,005 ✭✭✭reap-a-rat


    Snotaul Goodman wrote: »
    Marge: I feel so guilty. The Van Houtens split up at our party.

    Homer: Marge, please that was 20 minutes ago.

    You shouldn't have served those North Korean fortune cookies. "You are a coward"; no-one wants to hear that after a nice meal.


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    #6613
    RainyDay
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,925 ✭✭✭RainyDay


    Mayor Quimby: It is with great pride that I turn over the safety of this city to the first four people who showed up.
    Homer: Mm-hmm.
    Quimby: Your sense of civic duty and this pamphlet that came with the fire extinguisher are all the training you need or shall receive.
    (Homer, Moe, Apu and Principal Skinner start to congratulate each other. Lenny and Carl run in)
    Carl: We're here to join the volunteer fire department.
    Moe: You're too late... beat it! (Carl and Lenny walk out sadly) Lousy civilians... I wish I could burn them all!
    Quimby: Easy there, Fire Chief Moe.


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    #6614
    paddylonglegs
    Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    Hoop66 wrote: »
    500 dollaridoos?

    Tobias!

    900

    Ahem


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    #6615
    wnolan1992
    Registered Users Posts: 14,009 ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    I'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MY MACHINE!

    i'M GONNA CHOP YOU GOOD!

    THAT COST ME SEVEN CENTS!

    I PROMISE I WON'T HURT YOU!


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    #6616
    Peregrine
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,402 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peregrine


    Marge at the Springsonian Museum: Picasso started out realistic then moved on to cubism. By the end of his life, he was just painting crank letters to the editor. They call it his Angry Jerk Period.


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    #6617
    JaseBelleVie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 936 ✭✭✭JaseBelleVie


    Why do we need church shoes? Jesus wore sandals!

    Maybe if he'd had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him!


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    #6618
    Rega
    Registered Users Posts: 759 ✭✭✭Rega


    Excuse me sir, do you like to laugh?


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    #6619
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Burns: Hmm...who's that goat-legged fellow? I like the cut of his jib.
    Smithers: Er, Prince of Darkness, sir. He's your eleven o'clock.


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    #6620
    Me_Grapes
    Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭Me_Grapes


    GABBO


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    #6621
    Me_Grapes
    Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭Me_Grapes


    GABBO


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    #6622
    Me_Grapes
    Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭Me_Grapes


    GABBO!!!!!


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    #6623
    strawdog
    Registered Users Posts: 399 ✭✭strawdog


    space coyote (voiced by Johnny Cash!): find your soulmate homer, find your soulmate

    homer: but how, HOW??

    space coyote: ..this is only your memory. i cant give you any new information


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    #6624
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Me_Grapes wrote: »
    GABBO!!!!!

    Reverend Lovejoy: Everyone is saying "Gabbo this" and "Gabbo that". But no one is saying "Worship this" and "Jericho that".

    Jasper: What's this about Gabbo?


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    #6625
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,998 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    Me_Grapes wrote: »
    GABBO
    Me_Grapes wrote: »
    GABBO
    Me_Grapes wrote: »
    GABBO!!!!!
    "Look, Smithers. Garbo is coming."


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    #6626
    Birneybau
    Registered Users Posts: 10,317 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    "A man so evil Bob Dylan wrote a song to keep him IN prison"

    I fecking loved that line, prison rodeo episode with Michael Keating.


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    #6627
    Me_Grapes
    Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭Me_Grapes


    Kent Brockman Reinier Wolfcastle, star of McBain and the upcoming film Help! My Son Is A Nerd!

    Reinier Wolfcastle My son returns from a fancy East Coast college und I'm horrified to discover that he iz become un nerd.

    Kent Ha-Ha, I'm laughing already.

    Woflcastle (deadpan) It's not a comedy.

    Kent (worried) Oh!!


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    #6628
    Peregrine
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,402 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peregrine


    Marge: Homer, we have a perfectly good bookcase.
    Homer: Yeah, but this is what they're doing on campus. Besides, it's not costing us anything. I swiped the cinderblocks from a construction site.

    At the construction site:
    Construction worker: Sir, 6 cinder blocks are missing.
    Boss: There'll be no hospital, then. I'll tell the children..


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    #6629
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    Mr. Burns is reminiscing about his grandfather's old Atom Smashing Plant]
    Burns' Grandfather: Come on, men! Smash those atoms! You there, turn out your pockets.

    [Two goons seize a waifish worker and turn out his pockets]
    Burns' Grandfather: Aha - atoms! One, two, three, four... SIX of them! Take him away!

    Waif: You can't treat the working man this way! One of these days we'll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we'll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive!

    Burns' Grandfather: The Japanese? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders? Ha ha! Bosh! Flimshaw!

    Mr. Burns: Oh, if only we'd listened to that young man, instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven.


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    #6630
    Peregrine
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,402 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peregrine


    Nucular. It's pronounced nu-cular.


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    #6631
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,998 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    Nim wrote: »
    Nucular. It's pronounced nu-cular.
    "oh, whatever."


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