Dental plan!

efb

Ned Flanders/Sir Thomas More: Your Majesty, I work for the Pope, and I think a celibate Italian weirdo knows a lot more about marriage than you

walkingshadow

All of my dreams involve combing my hair.

Welsh Megaman

RoyalMarine wrote: »

Look Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order. You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth! Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do. Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!

Marge: HOMER, DON'T EVER TELL THEM PERSONAL STUFF ABOUT ME AGAIN!!

Homer: (sheepishly) Yes ma'am.

Welsh Megaman

Chief Wiggum: This is it boys, we’ll have to tummy-kiss our way out!

Brhbrhbrhrhbrhbrhb

Rawr

Welsh Megaman wrote: »

Chief Wiggum: This is it boys, we’ll have to tummy-kiss our way out!

Brhbrhbrhrhbrhbrhb

LOU: This is a bouncer one here, Chief.

valoren

Ma cans!

Ma precious antique cans!

Aww look what ya dun to 'em

walkingshadow

This is just your memory Homer- I can't give you any new information.

Peregrine

Given the week that's in it..

Homer: Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in everyday and do it really half-assed. That's the American way!

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Sorry Mr Burns, I have no time for these back door shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!

Welsh Megaman

PRAY FOR MOJO

Sheepy99

HELLO JOE

Wise Old Elf

Iron helps us play.

toastedpickles

Hello my name is mr burns, i believe you have a letter for me?
Ooook mr burns and whats your first name?
........I don't know!

Summer wind

Go out on a Tuesday? Who am I Charlie Sheen?

dr.fuzzenstein

Lisa: I'm impressed that you drew up blueprints, but these are for a go-cart track.
Homer: Did Frank Lloyd Wright have to deal with people like you?
Lisa: Actually, Frank Lloyd Wright endured a lot of harsh criticism.
Homer: Look. I have no idea who Frank Lloyd Wright is.
Lisa: You said his name two seconds ago.
Homer: I was just putting words together.

Grampa: "Welcome home, Son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife?"

Homer: "Never mind, you wouldn't understand."

Grampa: "Flu?"

Homer: "No."

Grampa: "Protein deficiency?"

Homer: "No."

Grampa: "PneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosIIIIIIIS!?"

Homer: "No."

Grampa: "Unsatisfying sex life?"

Homer: "N- yes! But please, don't you say that word!"

Grampa: "What, seeeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had sex."

toastedpickles

Johnny tight lips! where did they hit you??
I aint sayin' nutin
But what do i tell the doctor?!
Tell the doctor to suck a lemon

corblimey

Lottery Draw: Seventeen.
Homer: D'oh!
Lottery Draw: Thirty-two.
Homer: D'oh!
Lottery Draw: Five.
Homer: D'oh!
Lottery Draw: Eight.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Lottery Draw: Forty-seven.
Homer: D'oh!

Rawr

Elmo knows where you live!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

"How mann-yyyy roooads must a man walllk down, before you can calllll him a maaaaan?......"
"Four!"
"It's a rhetorical question, Homer!"
"Oh, I see .... seven!"

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

'It seems the Cat Burglar has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him.'

'How ironic.'

Wise Old Elf

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

"How mann-yyyy roooads must a man walllk down, before you can calllll him a maaaaan?......"
"Four!"
"It's a rhetorical question, Homer!"
"Oh, I see .... seven!"

Dad, do you even know what rhetorical means?

DO I KNOW WHAT RHETORICAL MEANS?!

corblimey

Quimby: Give us back our concert, Simpson.
Homer: So, New Springfield's looking pretty good now, isn't it, with our ample parking, and daily Who concerts.
Roger Daltrey: Daily?
Homer: We'll talk.

RhubarbCrumble

Flanders: I'm a murderer, I'm a murderer, I'm a mur-diddly-urderer!
Bart: If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework.

dr.fuzzenstein

Homer: If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put you in a home.

Grampa: You already put me in a home.

Homer: Then we'll put you in the crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes.

Grampa: [cowering] I'll be good.

Dirty Dingus McGee

In honour of tonights big fight some boxing related quotes

Homer : You used to be a boxer just like me?
Moe : Yup. They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Moe.

Moe : Are you man enough to test every one of your limits?
Homer : Yes!
Moe : And are you man enough to throw a punch should the opportunity arise?
Homer: Yes!
Moe : And are you man enough to give me a sixty percent cut?
Homer: Yes!
Moe: I'll take it.
Homer: Whoo-hoo!

Moe : Fun's over, fellas! If you're gonna beat up my friend in my bar, there's a two-drink minimum.

Reporter #1: Champ, do you feel remorse for your crime?
Drederick Tatum: Oh, yes. Believe me, my god, if I could turn back the clock on my mother's stair-pushing, I would certainly, reconsider it.
Reporter #2: Drederick, ah, what do you think of Homer Simpson?
Drederick Tatum: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.
Reporter #3: Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ?
Drederick Tatum: Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.

Michael Buffer: To challenge the irresistible force of Tatum, we have the immoveable object; he's been called the Brick Hit House and is also known as the Southern Dandy, Homer-r-r Simpson!

Watson: I want to dedicate this fight to my manager, Vinnie, who got me here and then -passed away two weeks ago.
Reporter: Any response?
Tatum: I would also like to dedicate this fight to this manager.
Watson: You can't! -
Tatum: I can!
Watson:You dedicate the fight to your manager!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

(Eye on Springfield)

Kent Borckman: ... and we visit with heavyweight champion Drederick Tatum, who reminisces about growing up in Springfield.
Tatum: Springfield?! Man, that town is a dump. If you ever see me back there, you know I really ****ed up bad.

michaelr666

Why can't we be friends! why can't we be friends!

toastedpickles

Are you an angel??

Yeah homer, I'm an angel

corblimey

Marge: Homer, why aren't you at work?
Homer: The car won't start. I don't feel very good today. I am at work.
Marge: You're afraid to go to work because Frank Grimes will be there, aren't you?
Homer: That's crazy talk. You're crazy, Marge. Get off the road! [honks horn]