Dental plan!

fancy pigeon

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

I hear digging, but I don't hear chopping!

Ooooh a friendly bee... AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

paddylonglegs

Mono = one
Rail = rail

EagererBeaver

Funk dancing for self defence.

Alright, here's the 411 folks. Say some gangster is dissing your fly girl, you just give 'em one o' these!

Beanntraigheach

My cans! My precious antique cans! Ah, look what ya done to 'em.

Rawr

paddylonglegs wrote: »

Mono = one
Rail = rail

And that concludes our extensive three-week course.

corblimey

Marge: Bart's such a handful, and Maggie needs attention, but all the while, our little Lisa's becoming a young woman.
Homer: Oh, so that's it, this is some kind of underwear thing.

EagererBeaver

I sleep in a race car, do you?!

Peregrine

EagererBeaver wrote: »

I sleep in a race car, do you?!

I sleep in a big bed with my wife.

EagererBeaver

I said I don't want any damn vegetables!

Overheal

Ginger: You think you can Irish up this coffee for me?
Ned: Oops, watch the swears honeybear. We don't use the I-word in this house.

dr.fuzzenstein

We flushed your sin sticks down the toilet. Smokers are jokers, smokers are jokers!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

"I’d like another Faberge egg, please.”
“Sir, don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
“I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough!”

DaisyFay

Homer: OK here are your messages: you have 30 minutes to move your car - you have 10 minutes to move your car - your car has been impounded - your car has been crushed into a cube - you have 30 minutes to move your cube
*phone rings*
Homer: Hello?
Mr Burns: Is it about my cube?

Beanntraigheach

One fella came close. Went by the name of Homer.
Seven feet tall he was with arms like tree-trunks and his eyes were like steel, cold and hard.
Had a shock of hair, red like the fires of hell.

corblimey

Krusty: All right, now there can only be one Krusty in each territory, so I hope this works out. Tell me where you're from.
Man 1: Georgia.
Texan 1: Texas.
Texan 2: Uh, Brooklyn.
Man 2: Russia.
Man 3: New Hampshire.
Homer: Homer.

Realt Dearg Sec

corblimey wrote: »

Krusty: All right, now there can only be one Krusty in each territory, so I hope this works out. Tell me where you're from.
Man 1: Georgia.
Texan 1: Texas.
Texan 2: Uh, Brooklyn.
Man 2: Russia.
Man 3: New Hampshire.
Homer: Homer.

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

wnolan1992

Homer: Maggie, the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word.
[Homer leaves room, Maggie removes pacifier]
Maggie: ... Daddy...


Love this moment so much.

Melisandre121

See you in the car.

Best wishes

Milhouse

dr.fuzzenstein

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

Yeah. When I started this clown thing, I thought it would be nothing but glory. You know, the glory of being a clown. I tell you, it's hard, tiring work. But when I see the smiles on their little faces, I just know they're getting ready to jab me with something.
.
.
.
.
Oh yeah...speedholes!

Welsh Megaman

That's some fine spelunking, Lou...mighty fine spelunking.

EagererBeaver

It's Kurns stupid!

No it's not.

Disregard!

Mushy

When will you humans learn that your 'feelings', as you call them, can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?!

Cold War Kid

Oh, and how is... "education" supposed to make me feel smarter?! Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?

That's because you were drunk!

Aaaand how!

Cold War Kid

"Works on contingency, no money down."

Oh, I've been meaning to fix that:

"Works on contingency? No! Money down!"

RobbingBandit

Ashley Grant (the babysitter): You grabbed me in the car!

Homer: Oh that, no. I was just grabbing a gummy Venus De Milo that got stuck to your pants.

Protester: Yeah, right. That's the oldest excuse in the book.

Protesters: Two, four, six, eight, Homer's crime was very great! "Great" meaning large or immense, we use it in the pejorative sense!

Rawr

Mushy wrote: »

When will you humans learn that your 'feelings', as you call them, can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?!

Kirk: Oh, my demo tape!

Homer: (looking at the tape) "Can I Borrow a Feeling?" (laughs) "Can I Borrow a Feeling?" (still laughing) That's your picture on the front! (keeps laughing)

Kirk: Go ahead, Homer, laugh at me.

Homer: But I already did.

EagererBeaver

Insemination complete.

Really? That seemed awful quick.

What are you implying?!

DaisyFay

Martin Prince: Individually we are weak like a twig, but together we form the mighty f*gg*t!!

wnolan1992

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals FLAMING!

dr.fuzzenstein

The screams! The humiliation! The fact that it wasn't me!