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Dental plan!

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    #7142
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Kuala Lum... Koala Loom.. eh, France!


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    #7143
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    EagererBeaver wrote: »
    Kuala Lum... Koala Loom.. eh, France!

    U-R-GAY


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    #7144
    Beanntraigheach
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    Hens love roosters,
    Geese love ganders,
    everyone else loves Ned Flanders.


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    #7145
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,998 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    Beanntraigheach wrote: »
    Hens love roosters,
    Geese love ganders,
    everyone else loves Ned Flanders.
    "NOT ME!"


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    #7146
    Beanntraigheach
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »
    "NOT ME!"
    Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders.
    :D


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    #7147
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Jebediah Obadiah Zechariah Jedediah Springfield came west in 1838. Along the way he met a ferocious bear and killed it with his bare hands. That's B-A-R-E hands. Although modern historians recently uncovered evidence that the bear in fact probably killed him.


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    #7148
    Galway K9
    Registered Users Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Galway K9


    Beanntraigheach wrote: »
    Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders.
    :D

    classic! lol


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    #7149
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Casablanca - Alternate ending

    (Plane takes off)

    Rick: Louis, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
    (Louis stops and pulls a gun on Rick)

    Sam: Look out, Rick! He's pack'in heat!
    (Sam knocks Louis down with his piano)

    Rick: Good work, Sam. Come on. I'll buy you a falafel.

    (Hitler suddenly emerges from the piano with a grenade)
    Hitler: Not so fast, schmarteneimer!

    (Ilsa parachutes onto the piano, sealing Hitler inside while the grenade explodes.)
    Ilsa: Hope you don't mind my dropping in?

    Rick: Not at all, sweet cakes. You know what to do, Sam.
    (Sam plays a slow melody which leads into a scene of him playing at their wedding)

    The End
    ?

    Lisa: Unbelievable.

    Bart: I'll say. Wasn't it great? And the question mark leaves the door open for a sequel.


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    #7150
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Homer: Yes, sir. I will notice that. Very casual, Mr. Scorpion.
    Hank Scorpio: Don't call me Mr. Scorpion. It's Mr Scorpio, but don't call me that either. Call me Hank!


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    #7151
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,393 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Yay! Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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    #7152
    Galway K9
    Registered Users Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Galway K9


    corblimey wrote: »
    Homer: Yes, sir. I will notice that. Very casual, Mr. Scorpion.
    Hank Scorpio: Don't call me Mr. Scorpion. It's Mr Scorpio, but don't call me that either. Call me Hank!

    Do me a favour would mind hanging this jacket up on the wall for me?


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    #7153
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,876 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    Galway K9 wrote: »
    Do me a favour would mind hanging this jacket up on the wall for me?

    Relax Homer, at Globex we don't believe in walls! In fact, I didn't even give you my coat!


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    #7154
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »
    Relax Homer, at Globex we don't believe in walls! In fact, I didn't even give you my coat!

    No one ever says Italy.


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    #7155
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,876 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »
    No one ever says Italy.

    That's one of the best episodes they ever made. The propaganda video about their new town, where the bum turns into a mail box, is one of the best visual gags in television history.


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    #7156
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Awwww, the Denver Broncos!


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    #7157
    Galway K9
    Registered Users Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Galway K9


    Hank Scorpio: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
    Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
    Hank Scorpio: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third.
    Homer: Uh-huh.
    Hank Scorpio: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.
    Homer: Mm-Hmm.
    Hank Scorpio: That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
    Homer: Oh, the hammock district!
    Hank Scorpio: That's right.


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    #7158
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Back to the hammocks, my friend. You know, there's a little place called Mary Ann's Hammocks. The nice thing about that place is Mary Ann gets in the hammock with you


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    #7159
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Scorpio!
    He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
    Beware of Scorpio!
    His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
    And his employees' health.

    He'll welcome you into his lair,
    Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
    With free dental care and a stock plan
    that helps you invest!

    But beware of his generous pensions,
    Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,
    And on Fridays the lunch room serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
    He loves German beer!


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    #7160
    castletownman
    Registered Users Posts: 11,327 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    How ironic. Now he's blind after a life-time of enjoying being able to see


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    #7161
    Beanntraigheach
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    I'm telling you people the Earth revolves around the Sun.

    Burn Him!


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    #7162
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Beanntraigheach wrote: »
    I'm telling you people the Earth revolves around the Sun.

    Burn Him!

    Photographer: What a story! [takes photo]

    Grampa: You've stolen my soul!


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    #7163
    Valentina
    Registered Users Posts: 4,281 ✭✭✭Valentina


    Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
    Marge: But we did win.
    Lionel Hutz: That's okay. The box is empty.


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    #7164
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Dr. Foster: Would you please tell your son to stop?

    Flanders' Dad: We can't do it, man! That's discipline! That's like tellin' Gene Krupa not to go [starts banging on the desk] "boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom boom bam ba ba ba ba, da boo boo tss!" We don't believe in rules, like, we gave them up when we started livin' like freaky beatniks!

    Dr. Foster: You don't believe in rules, yet you want to control Ned's anger.

    Flanders' Mom: Yeah. You gotta help us, Doc. We've tried nothin' and we're all out of ideas.


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    #7165
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    But we did a Lisa thing last month ... and I'm glad we did. But now I think we should do something that normal people would like.


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    #7166
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Have the Rolling Stones killed


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    #7167
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,876 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    Have the Rolling Stones killed

    But sir...


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    #7168
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    Have the Rolling Stones killed
    Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »
    But sir...

    those....



    ;)


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    #7169
    lazybones32
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,647 ✭✭✭lazybones32


    Homer: When I was a boy I really wanted a baseball mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. Doctor said I might have brain damage.
    Bart: Uh, dad...what's the point of this story?
    Homer: <pause> I like stories


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    #7170
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    corblimey wrote: »
    those....



    ;)

    Alright, I'll bite.

    Do as I say!


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    #7171
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Mr Burns: Relax, Simpson. I just brought you in here for a friendly hello...
    Homer: Whew...[heart slows down]
    Mr Burns: ...and goodbye! You're fired!
    Homer: Gnk! [heart speeds up]
    Mr Burns: But, wait. Perhaps I'm being too hasty. You are highly skilled...
    Homer: Whew...[heart slows down]
    Mr Burns: ...at goofing off!
    Homer: Aaargh! [heart beats faster]
    Mr Burns: Now don't worry, Homer. You're the kind of guy I could really dig...
    Homer: Whew...[heart slows down]
    Mr Burns: ...a grave for!
    Homer: Aaargh! [heart beats faster than anything]
    Mr Burns: Your indolence is inefficacious!
    [Homer stares blankly] [heart beats normally]
    Mr Burns: That means, you're terrible!
    Homer: Aarrggghh! [heart goes crazy]


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