Dental plan!

sheesh

ralph: I'm going to bovine university!

krudler

My friends, tonight I unveil my most diabolical creation....Swank! 10 times more addictive than marijuana!
To human misery!
*McBain smashes his way out of a Venus ice sculpture*
Ice to see you!

Susie_Q

Homer, stuck in a pond of mud: "First, I'll pull my legs out with my arms, then I'll pull my arms out with my face"

krudler

Mr Burns having a flashback to him as a kid smashing an Irish worker with a bumper car
"Ah, me legs, who'll provide for me little ones!"
the Mr Burns laughing at it for for days afterward
"What was aI laughing at now? oh yes that crippled Irishman"

one of the best jokes ever

Creature

TV: Springfield has come down with a football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game on Sunday. Warning: Tickets should NOT be taken internally.


Homer: See, because of me, now they have a warning.

krudler

Homer being elected union president.

What does this job pay?
Nothing..
D'oh!
Unless you're crooked
Woo hoo!

krudler

*knock knock*
Who is it?
Goons.
Who?
Hired goons.
Hired goons?

Sgt Hartman

"MY CANS! MY PRECIOUS ANTIQUE CANS! LOOK WHAT YA DONE TO 'EM!"

mfceiling

Bingo at the old peoples home.

24....you sank my battleship

45....you sank my battleship

witty username

Lisa (crying): Miss Hoover called me a PC Thug.

Homer: Aww honey, I've been called a greasy thug too, and it never stops hurting. So here's what we're gonna do: We're gonna grease ourselves up real good and trash that place with a baseball bat.

KeithM89_old

Homer: There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife.
Maude Flanders: Uh, I'm right here.
Homer: [sarcastically] Oh, I see! Then I guess everything's wrapped up in a neat little package!
[after a pause]
Homer: Really, I mean that. Sorry if it SOUNDED sarcastic.

mfceiling

Look surprised and move slowly towards the cake

krudler

Put out an APB, suspect is driving a .......car, of some sort, is heading in the the direction of....whats that place that sells chilli? suspect is hatless!, repeat hatless!

KeithM89_old

"I'm on a road, looks to be asphalt -aw jeez, trees, shrubs - uh, I'm directly under the earth's Sun...now."

My name is URL

I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.

Aldebaran

It's a ghost car!

Dave_

Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a gang!

krudler

You better have a damn good monorail conductor
*cuts to Homer trying to jimmy open the train door with a coat hanger*
Grrrr, I left my keys in there....get a rock.

Busi_Girl08

"Helloooo. I'm an electric caaaar. I don't go very far, or very fast. And if you drive me, people will think you're gaaay"
"One of us! One of us!!"

Chorizo

Carl: "Where are we going?"

Lenny: "Ape Island to capture a giant ape."

Carl: "I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island."

Lenny: "Candy Apple Island? What do they have there?"

Carl: "Apes. But they're not so big."

Ridley

"Hello, I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as 'Lead Paint, Delicious But Deadly' and 'Here Comes the Metric System!' I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's 'Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What'."

----

"Mayor Quimby supports revolving door prisons. Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob, a man twice convicted of attempted murder. Can you trust a man like Mayor Quimby?

Vote Sideshow Bob for mayor."

the purple tin

Homer: Mr. Ploot, Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house, you forgot to mention one little thing. You didn’t tell me it was built on an Indian burial ground...
No, you didn’t...
Well, that's not my recollection...
Yeah? Well, all right, goodbye!
(Homer hangs up the phone and turns to his family.)
Homer: He says he mentioned it five or six times.

The old treehouse of horror episodes were excellent.

cleremy jarkson

Lawyer: Mr. Quimby, did you assault Mr. LaCoste?

Freddy Quimby: Of course not. I love each and every thing on God's green earth.

Lawyer: Therefore, you would _never_ lose your temper over something as trivial as the pronunciation of "chowder".

Freddy Quimby: That's "chowdah"! Chowdah! I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you, especially those of you in the jury!

Busi_Girl08

Martin - "Hey Bart, can we stop for ice-cream?"
Bart - "Yes"
Nelson - "Hey Bart, can we weigh the car at that car-weighing station?"
Bart - "Yeah"
Milhouse - "Hey Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker?"
Bart - "I don't see why not"
Hitchhiker - "Hey Bart, can we stp for ice-cream?"
Bart - "Yes"
Hitchhiker - "Well I don't think I was rehabilitated, but eh...I guess they needed the extra bed"

Overheal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqBSnQuXHGY

Busi_Girl08

"This music speaks to me"
Otto - "Wooaah. My shoes are speaking to me"
Shoes - "Don't be scared."
Other Shoe - "Yeah. We just wanna have fun"



I wish my shoes would speak to me

Professey Chin

Busi_Girl08 wrote: »

"This music speaks to me"
Otto - "Wooaah. My shoes are speaking to me"
Shoes - "Don't be scared."
Other Shoe - "Yeah. We just wanna have fun"



I wish my shoes would speak to me

Enough of this and they will

SeaFields

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

Enough of this and they will

No, no, no...he need to go on All Syrup Super Squishy Bender.

His shoes will talk to him and he may even join the boy scouts too.

Burkatron

Yarr, it's kind of you to deliver these copies of 'Jugs.' They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality... fer about 10 minutes. Harr, Harr, Harr.

Lizard Queen

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women