Dental plan!

RainyDay

Marge: Come inside, Homer.
Homer: Excuse me, Marge, I want to be alone with my thought.

dr.fuzzenstein

Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to school children.

Rawr

corblimey wrote: »

Mr Burns: Relax, Simpson. I just brought you in here for a friendly hello...
Homer: Whew...[heart slows down]
Mr Burns: ...and goodbye! You're fired!
Homer: Gnk! [heart speeds up]
Mr Burns: But, wait. Perhaps I'm being too hasty. You are highly skilled...
Homer: Whew...[heart slows down]
Mr Burns: ...at goofing off!
Homer: Aaargh! [heart beats faster]
Mr Burns: Now don't worry, Homer. You're the kind of guy I could really dig...
Homer: Whew...[heart slows down]
Mr Burns: ...a grave for!
Homer: Aaargh! [heart beats faster than anything]
Mr Burns: Your indolence is inefficacious!
[Homer stares blankly] [heart beats normally]
Mr Burns: That means, you're terrible!
Homer: Aarrggghh! [heart goes crazy]

[Homer's spirit floats away]
Smithers: Mr. Burns, I think he's dead.

Mr. Burns: Oh, dear. Send a ham to his widow.

Homer: Mmm... ham.
[Homer's spirit returns to his body]

Smithers: No, wait - he's alive!

Mr. Burns: Oh, good. Cancel the ham!

Homer: D'oh!

corblimey

Ned: Oh, I admit it. It's only two-alarm, two-and-a-half, tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.
Todd: Daddy? Are you going to jail?
Ned: We'll see, son. We'll see.

Beanntraigheach

Homer sulking:

Stupid Flanders!
Go ahead Marge, have a ball.
What if they came back and I was dead from not eating. They'd cry their eyes out: "we should have never gone to the Flanders', Oh why did we go to the Flanders' house and leave Homer all alone with no food!"
And I'll be laughing, laughing from my grave: Heh-Heh-Heh.

Heisenberg1

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to school children.

Absolute quality.

Rawr

Homer: Thanks for giving me my job back, Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns: I'm afraid it's not that simple. As punishment for your desertion, it's company policy to give you the plague.

Smithers: Uh, sir, that's the "plaque."

Mr. Burns: Ah, yes, the special de-motivational plaque to break what's left of your spirit. For you see, you're here... forever.
[Smithers screws the plaque to the wall]

DON'T FORGET
YOU'RE HERE
FOREVER

Mr. Burns: [reading] "Don't Forget - You're Here Forever."

Homer later modifies that sign with pictures of Maggie.

DOITFOR
HER


(That's one of those rare really touching moments in the Simpsons. Unlike now, where they'll just give you the 'sad music' to indicate emotion.)

dr.fuzzenstein

Announcer: And now, Avis Rent-A-Car is proud to present the second best band in America. Will you welcome Garfunkel, Messina, Oates, and Lisa singing their number two hit, "Born to Runner-Up." [Band begins to play; audience boos]
Lisa: Why would they come to our concert just to boo us?

Realt Dearg Sec

Rawr wrote: »

Homer: Thanks for giving me my job back, Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns: I'm afraid it's not that simple. As punishment for your desertion, it's company policy to give you the plague.

Smithers: Uh, sir, that's the "plaque."

Mr. Burns: Ah, yes, the special de-motivational plaque to break what's left of your spirit. For you see, you're here... forever.
[Smithers screws the plaque to the wall]

DON'T FORGET
YOU'RE HERE
FOREVER

Mr. Burns: [reading] "Don't Forget - You're Here Forever."

Homer later modifies that sign with pictures of Maggie.

DOITFOR
HER


(That's one of those rare really touching moments in the Simpsons. Unlike now, where they'll just give you the 'sad music' to indicate emotion.)

Yeah, another one being when Homer's mother leaves, and says goodbye to him on a remote desert highway, and it ends with him sitting on the car looking up at the stars. Gets me every time.

dr.fuzzenstein

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

Yeah, another one being when Homer's mother leaves, and says goodbye to him on a remote desert highway, and it ends with him sitting on the car looking up at the stars. Gets me every time.

And Glenn Close does a good "D'oh!"

Realt Dearg Sec

Shelbyvillian: We just got word there's Springfield kids in town.
Bart in disguise: Curse those handsome devils!

EagererBeaver

"Steve Sax and his run in with the laaaaaw..."

Beanntraigheach

Mr Burns: You know it's funny Smithers, I've tried every tincture and poultice and tonic and patent medicine there is, and all I really needed was the blood of a young boy.

later:
We'll get the Simpsons a present; an extravagant present; a mad, unthinkable, utterly impossible present; a frabulous, grabulous, zip-zoop-zabulous present!

Peregrine

Mr Burns: Ahoy hoy? No, you have the wrong number, this is 4246. I suspect you need more practice working your telephone machine. Not at all. Ahoy!

harry Bailey esq

Iron helps us play

dr.fuzzenstein

It's the Krusty Komedy Klassik!

corblimey

Barney: I've learned I have a gift to share with the world. From now on, there'll be a new Barnard Gumbel: hardworking, clean, and sober.
Quimby: Congratulations, Barney, and enjoy your grand prize: a lifetime supply of Duff beer.
Barney: Huh? (pulls up sleeve) Just hook it to my veins!

Rawr

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Iron helps us play

Hello Joe!

paddylonglegs

Galway K9 wrote:

Hank Scorpio: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
Hank Scorpio: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Hank Scorpio: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.
Homer: Mm-Hmm.
Hank Scorpio: That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
Homer: Oh, the hammock district!
Hank Scorpio: That's right.

Apparently this was all ad-lib

corblimey

paddylonglegs wrote: »

Apparently this was all ad-lib

Yeah, when you got Albert Brooks coming in to read your script, you tend not to bother too much with a, y'know, script.

It's a good job that episode didn't go out live...!

Realt Dearg Sec

corblimey wrote: »

Yeah, when you got Albert Brooks coming in to read your script, you tend not to bother too much with a, y'know, script.

It's a good job that episode didn't go out live...!

Very few cartoons go out live. It puts an incredible strain on the animators' wrists.

letsseehere14

-Sounds like Springfield has a discipline problem.

-Maybe that's why we beat them at football nearly half the time.

corblimey

Alison: We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a description of that person.
Professor Taylor: Like, er... oh, I don't know, uh... Alec Guinness.
Alison: Genuine class.
Professor Taylor: Ho ho, very good. Alright Lisa, um... Jeremy Irons.
Lisa: Jeremy's... iron.
Professor Taylor: Mm hmm, well, that's... very good... for a first try. You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it?

Kilkenny14

corblimey wrote: »

Alison: We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a description of that person.
Professor Taylor: Like, er... oh, I don't know, uh... Alec Guinness.
Alison: Genuine class.
Professor Taylor: Ho ho, very good. Alright Lisa, um... Jeremy Irons.
Lisa: Jeremy's... iron.
Professor Taylor: Mm hmm, well, that's... very good... for a first try. You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it?

Well, that's... very good... for a first try. You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it.

KillerShamrock

Mr Burns:Ah! 206 bones full, pouting lips.
Why, this fellow is less a snowman than a god! Well, we've managed to stave off cabin fever for a few hours.
Mr Burns:l- I think we should dress the snowmen.
Homer:Agreed.
Mr Burns:Look at them, smug and secure in their finery mocking us.
Homer: They're just snowmen, Mr.Burns.
Mr Burns: Ah, snowmen have peepers. Peepers to watch- to watch for a moment of weakness.
And then, bam, comes the knock on the head, and we're down! -
Homer:What do we do? -
Mr Burns:Oh, wouldn't you like to know?

letsseehere14

Fatty fat fat fat. Fatty fatty fat fat.

Rawr

Carl: Hey, don't yell at Homer, just because he's a little slow.

(Homer gasps)

Homer's Brain: Something was said, not good. What was it? Don't yell at Homer? Nah, that's okay. What was it... slow! They called you slow!

Homer: (standing up and pointing) How dare you call me that! I--

(We see that it is now night-time. Lenny is in his dressing gown, raiding the fridge.)

Lenny: Hey Homer, are you still here? Boy, you are slow.

Homer's Brain: Something said, not good.

Lenny: Get the Hell out of here!

Realt Dearg Sec

Attention! All honours students will be rewarded with a trip to an archaeological dig. Conversely, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archaeological dig.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

It's good!!! It's good!! it's good... to.. see you all here today....

"Hello. Are you Don Mattingly?

Yes. Yes, I am. Come in. Come in. Can I get you something? What's your name?"

One of the best scenes in that episode IMO