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Dental plan!

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    #7232
    For Forks Sake
    Registered Users Posts: 11,584 ✭✭✭✭For Forks Sake


    Disparaging the boot is a boot-able offence.


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    #7233
    briany
    Registered Users Posts: 13,779 ✭✭✭✭briany


    Beanntraigheach wrote: »
    My friends, tonight we unveil my most diabolical creation: 'Swank'.

    Ice to see you!


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    #7234
    Welsh Megaman
    Registered Users Posts: 72,597 ✭✭✭✭Welsh Megaman


    briany wrote: »
    Ice to see you!

    McBain's Love Interest: Well, you certainly broke up that meeting!

    McBain: Right now, I'm thinking of starting another meeting. In bed!


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    #7235
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    I just have to!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vyANa71gvU


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    #7236
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    Marge: I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger place.

    Homer: No, we won't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.

    Marge: Won't that warp him?

    Homer: My cousin Frank did it.

    Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.

    Homer: He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.


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    #7237
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    Total Disaster Insurance Man: Now this place you were at, Moe's, is this a business of some sort?

    Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar. But what else is open at night?

    Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

    Homer's Brain: Heh, heh, heh. I would never have thought of that.


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    #7238
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    Homer: Son, a woman is a lot like...
    [sees the fridge]

    Homer: a refrigerator. They're about six feet tall, three-hundred pounds... they make ice and...
    [eyes his Duff]

    Homer: No, actually a woman is a more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one.
    [chugs beer]

    Homer: But you can't stop at one...
    [grabs another beer from the fridge]

    Homer: you want to drink another woman.
    [10 beers later]

    Homer: So I says; "Yeah? You want that money? Come and find it! 'Cause I don't know where it is, ya baloney! You... make me... wanna... wretch..."
    [passes out]


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    #7239
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Homer: Moe, I've got a friend named Joey... Joe Joe Junior... Shabadoo.
    Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
    (a man runs out of the bar crying)
    Barney: Wait! Joey Joe Joe!


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    #7240
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    Homer: You know, when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

    Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
    Homer: I like stories.


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    #7241
    Peregrine
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,402 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peregrine


    Fat Tony: Johnny Tightlips, can you see the shooter?
    Johnny Tightlips: I see a lot of things.

    -

    Louie: Johnny Tightlips, where did they hit you?
    Johnny Tightlips: I ain't saying nothing.
    Louie: Well, what do I tell the doctor?
    Johnny Tightlips: Tell him to suck a lemon.


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    #7242
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    Peregrine wrote: »
    Fat Tony: Johnny Tightlips, can you see the shooter?
    Johnny Tightlips: I see a lot of things.

    -

    Louie: Johnny Tightlips, where did they hit you?
    Johnny Tightlips: I ain't saying nothing.
    Louie: Well, what do I tell the doctor?
    Johnny Tightlips: Tell him to suck a lemon.

    Classic

    Or another one of his favorites

    .." ... How is your mother? Johnny Tightlips: Ohhhh .... Who says I got a mother?!


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    #7243
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Heisenberg1 wrote: »
    Classic

    Or another one of his favorites

    .." ... How is your mother? Johnny Tightlips: Ohhhh .... Who says I got a mother?!

    Louie: Oh, that's better. I could whack my own mother now.

    Fat Tony: I'm glad you brought that up.

    Louie: Kill my mother? She makes such good pasta sauce.

    Johnny Tight Lips: It comes from a can.

    Louie: She's a corpse!


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    #7244
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    Homer: Listen, I made a little scrapbook to remember the kidnapping.
    I'm still working on it but as you can see this is that cigarette butt you burned me with.

    Kidnapper #2 You slept like a baby that night.


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    #7245
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Skinner: Kids, this is Robbie the Automaton.
    Robbie: (robotic voice) Greetings, Earth children.
    Lewis: Where are you from?
    Robbie: .... Earth.


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    #7246
    Welsh Megaman
    Registered Users Posts: 72,597 ✭✭✭✭Welsh Megaman


    Krusty The Clown: I heartily endorse this event or product.


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    #7247
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users Posts: 6,422 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Oooohhh Deng Xiaoping died.


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    #7248
    Beanntraigheach
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    Johnny! Johnny!! JOHNNYYYYYYYYYYY!!!


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    #7249
    Reiver
    Registered Users Posts: 782 ✭✭✭Reiver


    Beanntraigheach wrote: »
    Johnny! Johnny!! JOHNNYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

    Would you like to rent the movie sir?


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    #7250
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    EagererBeaver wrote: »
    Oooohhh Deng Xiaoping died.

    Homer: [reading a sign saying 'Gym'] A gime?
    [mispronouncing gym]
    Homer: what's a gime?
    Homer: [upon entering gym] Ooooh! A *Gime*


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    #7251
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    Bart Simpson: [over loud speaker] Hey everybody, vote for my dad, Homer Simpson. If you don't he'll beat us.
    Homer Simpson: [over loud speaker] Why you little... er... No one's gonna beat you, son.
    [under his breath, but still audible]
    Homer Simpson: You're gonna get such a beating!


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    #7252
    Heisenberg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Heisenberg1


    EagererBeaver wrote: »
    Oooohhh Deng Xiaoping died.

    Homer it's just apple cores and old newspapers! Great episode.


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    #7253
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    We're gonna live like kings. Damn hell ass kings!


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    #7254
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    And that horrible act of child abuse became one of our most beloved running gags


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    #7255
    letsseehere14
    Registered Users Posts: 447 ✭✭letsseehere14


    I'll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church.


    Or synagogue.


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    #7256
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Krusty: Have you noticed how there are two phone books: a white one and a yellow one. What's the deal with that?
    Lisa: One's residential, the other is business.
    Krusty: Oh. Well, that makes sense. But what will they think of next? Blue Pages?
    Marge: We have those. They're government listings.


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    #7257
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    A good Simpsons Youtube video here featuring all the newspaper headlines from the show

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pxslZQiyq4

    "The Lincoln Squirrel has been assassinated, we'll stay with this one all night if we have to"


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    #7258
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    ^^^
    They can't seem to decide on a price!


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    #7259
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Leonard Nimoy: And so, from this simple man came the proof that we are not alone in the universe. I'm Leonard Nimoy. Good night.
    Teenager: Uh, Mr. Nimoy, we have ten minutes left.
    Leonard Nimoy: Oh. Uh, fine. Let me, uh, just get something out of my car.
    (runs off camera, gets in car, starts car and drives away)


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    #7260
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    A Solar eclipse. The Cosmic ballet goes on.


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    #7261
    Skylinehead
    Registered Users Posts: 11,690 ✭✭✭✭Skylinehead


    "Well, my work is done here"

    "What do you mean, my work is done here? You didn't do anything!"

    "Didn't I?"


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