Dental plan!

Rega

Well, a friendly Springfield hello there, neighbors.
You know, we think some kids of ours may be missing in your town.

Missing children? Sounds like Springfield's got a discipline problem.

Maybe that's why we beat them at football nearly half the time, huh?

marcbrophy

Got to go!
My damn wiener kids are listening.

corblimey

Homer: And I won't rest until I've gotten a hot dog.
Marge: Homer, this is a cemetery.
Man: Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here.
Homer: Woo hoo!
Marge: What do you do, follow my husband around?
Man: Lady, he's putting my kids through college.

corblimey

Number 2: Why did you think a big balloon would stop people?
Scientist: Shut up! That's why!

EagererBeaver

Zzzzaaaappppppp!

EagererBeaver

Public school can be intimidating to a young child, particularly one with as many flamboyantly homosexual tendencies as your son.

Bart's gay?

Bart?! Whoops, wrong file.

corblimey

Let's see, what's Marge's birthday? Barney is April twentieth, same as Hitler's,

Beanntraigheach

At last I have a garment fine enough to be married in.

Rawr

Love letter from Homer:

[sloppily scrawled]
Maybe it's the beer talking Marge
but you got a butt that won't quit.
they got those big chewy pretzels here
merJanthfGRRfHGUIVfrr
five dollars??!!!? get outta here [scrawl]

McChubbin

The X-Files episode is one of my favorites!
(Homer is on a treadmill in just his underwear, hooked up to a number of monitors.)
MULDER: Wait, Scully... what's the purpose of these tests?
SCULLY: No reason. I thought he could stand to lose a little weight.
MULDER: His jiggling...is...oddly hypnotic...

corblimey

Lisa: But it explains why there's no record of Jebediah Springfield before 1796. He was Hans Sprungfeld until then.
Hurlbut: That's preposterous. Get out! You're banned from this historical society! You, and your children, and your children's children -- for three months.

Thargor

This is brilliant:

https://vimeo.com/154727398

corblimey

Ned: Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of "Impy & Chimpy" I've ever seen!
Carl: Yeah, you should be very proud, Homer, you, uh... got a beautiful home here.

"Lucky for you this was just a warning gator. The next one won't be corked".


Any of ye like of Rock Bottom on FB? Its the best page ever.

corblimey

And now, please rise for our opening hymn, uh..."In the Garden of Eden," by I. Ron Butterfly.

corblimey

Homer: Is this cartoon going on the air live?
June: No, Homer. Very few cartoons are broadcast live, it's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists.

http://www.thewrap.com/the-simpsons-to-air-live-episode-al-jean-tells-us-how-theyll-pull-it-off/

GAAman

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel

iDave

You fly boys crack me up.

RainyDay

GAAman wrote: »

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel

I've been waiting for years for the chance to use this line in real life.

Realt Dearg Sec

Grampa: What's wrong with your wife?
Homer: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
Grampa: Flu?
Homer: No.
Grampa: Protein deficiency?
Homer: No.
Grampa: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
Homer: No.
Grampa: Unsatisfying sex life?
Homer: N - yes. But please, don't you say that word.
Grampa: What, seeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeeeex.

Beanntraigheach

*Bart in Springfield Retirement Castle*

Bart: I'm here to see my grampa.
Old Man: Here I am, sonny.
Bart: You're not my grampa.
Old Man: Aw come on, gimme a chance. Hey, can your grandfather do this?....http://i.imgur.com/FvKvkgT.gif

corblimey

Quimby: Henceforth, this date shall forever be known as Flaming Moe's Day!
Advisor: Uh, sir, this is already Veterans' Day.
Quimby: It can be two things!

mansize

My last pay check bounced! My children need wine!

jazz101

Let's just say it moved me.. TO A BIGGER HOUSE

Omackeral

jazz101 wrote: »

Let's just say it moved me.. TO A BIGGER HOUSE

Oops, I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud.

corblimey

Bart: I'll go, disguised as you.
Lisa: But what if he wants to hold hands?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he wants to kiss?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if...
Bart: You don't want to know how far I'll go.

Omackeral

Bart: *staring drunkenly into a TV camera* What are you looking at?!?

Kent Brockman: "What are you looking at?", the drunken words of an innocent child.

EagererBeaver

Omackeral wrote: »

Bart: *staring drunkenly into a TV camera* What are you looking at?!?

Kent Brockman: "What are you looking at?", the drunken words of an innocent child.

John Bull's Fish & Chips

jazz101

There's no such thing as Scotchtoberfest!
There's not?!

YA USED ME SKINNER! YA YOOOOOOSED ME!

flyton5

My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm thirty one years old.