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Dental plan!

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    #7832
    Beanntraigheach
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    Gabbo!

    Gabbo!

    GABBO!


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    #7833
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,998 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    "All the kids in Springfield are SOBs."


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    #7834
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Lisa: Oh, Grampa! You're not busy, are you?
    Grampa: Well, you're really asking two questions there. The first one takes me back to 1934. Admiral Byrd had just reached the pole, only hours ahead of the Three Stooges ...
    ... and I guess he won the argument, but I walked away with the turnips. The following morning, I resigned my commission in the Coast Guard. The next thing I heard, there was civil war in Spain ...
    ... and, that's everything that happened in my life right up to the time I got this phone call.
    Lisa: Uh huh. So, anything else you want to talk about?
    Grampa: I'm afraid I'd just be repeating myself, honey. Uh, anyway, other people need to use the phone.
    Jasper: Uh-uh. I've already talked to her twenty damn minutes.


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    #7835
    jazz101
    Registered Users Posts: 361 ✭✭jazz101


    Give those glasses to the bailiff!







    And those..


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    #7836
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Homer: Hawaii? What about Hawaii? Moe? Who's going to Hawaii?! Am I going to Hawaii?
    (Wiggum knocks on Homer's cell bars with a nightstick)
    Wiggum: Stop saying Hawaii in there!


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    #7837
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Homer: Yello?
    Bart: Uh, yeah, I'd like to speak with a Mr. Tabooger. First name, Ollie.
    Homer: Ooh, Bart! My first prank call! What do I do?
    Bart: Just ask if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger.
    Homer: I don't get it.
    Bart: Yell out, "I'll eat a booger."
    Homer: What's the gag?
    Bart: Oh, forget it.


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    #7838
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Homer: Please please please, I want to make the team. Clemens, did I make the team?
    Roger Clemens: You sure did!
    Homer: I did! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! In your face, Strawberry!
    Roger Clemens: Wait a minute, are you Ken Griffey, Jr.?
    Homer: No.
    Roger Clemens: Sorry. Didn't mean to get your hopes up.


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    #7839
    Beanntraigheach
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    Mr. Burns: Secondly, instead of beer, you will all drink this. It’s a brain and nerve tonic, rich in proteins and electromagnetic juices. It promotes robust health. It has been known to cause gigantism but only in rare cases. Try some.
    Ken Griffy Jr: It’s like there’s a party in my mouth and everyone’s invited!


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    #7840
    Eutow
    Registered Users Posts: 1,197 ✭✭✭Eutow


    Dr. Hibbert: (Examining Mike Scioscia who is heavily radiated) Mike, try to lift your arm.

    Mike Sciocia: (struggling to lift his left arm) Can't, lift, arm, or, speak, at, normal, rate.

    Dr. Hibbert: It seems that you have an acute dose of radiation poisoning.

    Mike Scioscia: Will, I, be, able, to, play, softball, tomorrow?

    Dr. Hibbert (Chuckling) No. By tomorrow you'll barely be able to breathe.


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    #7841
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users Posts: 6,419 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.

    Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
    (Lou and Eddie laugh)

    Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.

    Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?


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    #7842
    strawdog
    Registered Users Posts: 399 ✭✭strawdog


    Burns: Mattingly, get rid of those sideburns!
    Mattingly: What sideburns?
    Burns: You heard me, hippy.


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    #7843
    strawdog
    Registered Users Posts: 399 ✭✭strawdog


    Burns: Mattingly, for the last time, get rid of those sideburns!
    Mattingly: Look, Mr. Burns, I don't know what you think sideburns are, but-
    Burns: DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, JUST GET RID OF THEM!


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    #7844
    strawdog
    Registered Users Posts: 399 ✭✭strawdog


    Burns: Mattingly! I thought I told you to trim those sideburns?! Go home, you're off the team, for good!!


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    #7845
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Grampa (suffering kidney failure): I don't feel so good. Maybe I oughta eat something.

    Dr. Hibbert: Oh, I'm afraid your eating days are over (trademark chuckle).


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    #7846
    derfderf
    Registered Users Posts: 1,588 ✭✭✭derfderf


    https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=585871718244324&id=555030024661827


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    #7847
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »
    "All the kids in Springfield are SOBs."

    That oughta hold those SOBs,


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    #7848
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,477 ✭✭✭valoren


    Glug! Glug!
    Vroom! Vroom!
    Thump! Thump!


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    #7849
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,998 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »
    That oughta hold those SOBs,
    "Gabbo still #1 in Springfield."

    "Brockman fired."


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    #7850
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    Homer: Animals are crapping in our houses and we’re picking it up. Did we lose a war? That’s not America! That’s not even Mexico.




    Is it just me or is Homer Simpsons campaign for Sanitation Commisioner and his idiotic lowest common denominator populist political ideas seems eerliy similar to Trumps campaign.


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    #7851
    briany
    Registered Users Posts: 13,779 ✭✭✭✭briany


    Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »
    Homer: Animals are crapping in our houses and we’re picking it up. Did we lose a war? That’s not America! That’s not even Mexico.




    Is it just me or is Homer Simpsons campaign for Sanitation Commisioner and his idiotic lowest common denominator populist political ideas seems eerliy similar to Trumps campaign.

    (Obama in his final address to the nation) "You're screwed. Goodbye." (Walks off to the Sanford & Son theme).


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    #7852
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,876 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »
    Homer: Animals are crapping in our houses and we’re picking it up. Did we lose a war? That’s not America! That’s not even Mexico.




    Is it just me or is Homer Simpsons campaign for Sanitation Commisioner and his idiotic lowest common denominator populist political ideas seems eerliy similar to Trumps campaign.

    Do we want old man sanders with his finger on the button?!


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    #7853
    letsseehere14
    Registered Users Posts: 447 ✭✭letsseehere14


    Realt Dearg Sec wrote:
    Do we want old man sanders with his finger on the button?!


    What button?


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    #7854
    Padkir
    Registered Users Posts: 1,289 ✭✭✭Padkir


    Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »
    Do we want old man sanders with his finger on the button?!

    Edit: never mind...


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    #7855
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,876 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    letsseehere14 wrote: »
    What button?

    What button?! Where am I? WHO TOOK MY FALSE TEETH? !


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    #7856
    RainyDay
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,925 ✭✭✭RainyDay


    Marge: Aren't you coming, Ed?
    Ed Begley, Jr.: I prefer a vehicle that doesn't hurt Mother Earth. It's a go cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.


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    #7857
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    RainyDay wrote: »
    Marge: Aren't you coming, Ed?
    Ed Begley, Jr.: I prefer a vehicle that doesn't hurt Mother Earth. It's a go cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.

    Brilliant line. I've been thinking of it constantly since Ed Begley Junior has been appearing on Better Call Saul.


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    #7858
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Paul McCartney: Lisa, before you go, would you like to hear a song?

    Lisa: Wow, that’d be great!

    Paul: Okay, take it Apu!

    [Apu plays bongos and sings while Paul and Linda dance]
    Apu: I’m Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club man, I hope I will enjoy...my show!

    [Lisa backs away slowly]


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    #7859
    Rega
    Registered Users Posts: 759 ✭✭✭Rega


    Out with the old in with the nucleus


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    #7860
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Pro: Smoker.
    Con: Just a sign.


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    #7861
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,876 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    corblimey wrote: »
    Pro: Smoker.
    Con: Just a sign.

    Possible Homersexual.


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