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Dental plan!

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    #7922
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,477 ✭✭✭valoren


    corblimey wrote: »
    Lisa: I believe you're required to provide a vegetarian alternative.
    (Lunchlady Doris picks up a hot dog in a bun, shakes the weiner out, and slaps the bun down on Lisa's tray)
    Doris: Yum. It's rich in bunly goodness.
    Lisa: Do you remember when you lost your passion for this work?

    *Pushes Independent Thought Alarm button*


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    #7923
    wnolan1992
    Registered Users Posts: 14,009 ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    valoren wrote: »
    *Pushes Independent Thought Alarm button*

    Skinner: "That's two independent thought alarms in one day! The children are over-stimulated. Willie! Remove all the coloured chalk from the classrooms!"

    Willie: "I warned yeh! I warned yeh didn' I? That coloured chalk is forged by Lucifer himself!"


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    #7924
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school.


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    #7925
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Ralph: That's where I saw the leprechaun.

    Bart: Riiiiiight.

    Ralph: He told me to burn things.



    [Later]

    Leprechaun: Ahh, you've done grand, laddie. Now you know what you have to do. Burn the house down! Burn 'em all!


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    #7926
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Homer: Man, the last nine months sure were crazy.
    Bart: I'll say. I learned the true meaning of Columbus Day.
    Marge: I enjoyed a brief but memorable stint as Sideshow Marge.
    Lisa: I became the most popular girl in school, but blew it by being conceited.
    Bart: And then I learned the true meaning of winter.


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    #7927
    Beanntraigheach
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    Lionel Hutz, alias Miguel Sanchez, alias Dr. Nguyen Van Phuoc


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    #7928
    briany
    Registered Users Posts: 13,777 ✭✭✭✭briany


    Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because mother hid my car keys as punishment for talking to a woman on the phone.

    She was right to do it.


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    #7929
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.


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    #7930
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    "Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness" -- poorness is underlined -- "in impotence and in potence, in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-navigated --" ... and it goes on like this.


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    #7931
    the groutch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,096 ✭✭✭✭the groutch


    corblimey wrote: »
    Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school.

    He's 40 years old, times 25 grand.

    Whoa! He's a millionaire!

    Plus in the summer he paints houses.

    He's a billionaire!


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    #7932
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Oh, Lisa, you and your stories.
    "Bart is a vampire."
    "Beer kills brain cells."
    Now let's go back to that... building... thingy, where our beds and TV... is.


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    #7933
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,998 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    AURORA BOREALIS!?


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    #7934
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,876 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »
    AURORA BOREALIS!?

    May I see it?


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    #7935
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,998 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »
    May I see it?
    "...Nnnno."


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    #7936
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »
    "...Nnnno."

    Agnes: Seymour, the house is on fire!

    Skinner: No, Mother, it's just the Northern Lights.

    Chamers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.

    Agnes: (Screams)


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    #7937
    Comic Book Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,472 ✭✭✭Comic Book Guy


    Max Power doesn't snuggle, you strap yourself in and feel the G's!


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    #7938
    Cake Man
    Registered Users Posts: 2,839 ✭✭✭Cake Man


    Beanntraigheach wrote: »
    Lionel Hutz, alias Miguel Sanchez, alias Dr. Nguyen Van Phuoc



    ...was paid 8 dollars for his 32 hours of babysitting. He was glad to get it.


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    #7939
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Comic Book Guy wrote: »
    Max Power doesn't snuggle, you strap yourself in and feel the G's!

    Trent: So where to eat? You like Thai?
    Homer Max Power: Tie good. You like shirt?


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    #7940
    strawdog
    Registered Users Posts: 399 ✭✭strawdog


    Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
    Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"


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    #7941
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭Rawr


    strawdog wrote: »
    Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
    Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

    Homer: In America...First you get the sugar...then you get the power...then you get....the Women...


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    #7942
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users Posts: 6,417 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Rawr wrote: »
    Homer: In America...First you get the sugar...then you get the power...then you get....the Women...

    I nicked it. And I'd do it again.


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    #7943
    Comic Book Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,472 ✭✭✭Comic Book Guy


    Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!


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    #7944
    Peregrine
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,402 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peregrine


    Iron helps us play!

    Bahahahahaha!

    Hello, Joe!


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    #7945
    Comic Book Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,472 ✭✭✭Comic Book Guy


    I'll have a white wine spritzer............


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    #7946
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users Posts: 6,417 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Comic Book Guy wrote: »
    I'll have a white wine spritzer............

    Spritzer...spritzer.


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    #7947
    wnolan1992
    Registered Users Posts: 14,009 ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    EagererBeaver wrote: »
    Spritzer...spritzer.

    Am I the only one who always thought that that was the only drink Ned had that night, and that the joke was the he got so wasted on one drink?


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    #7948
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    wnolan1992 wrote: »
    Am I the only one who always thought that that was the only drink Ned had that night, and that the joke was the he got so wasted on one drink?

    I think that actually was the joke.


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    #7949
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    Ned: My name is Ned.
    All: Hello, Ned!
    Ned: It's been 4,000 days since my last drink. It was my first -- and last -- blackberry schnapps.

    [flashback of Ned and Maude in bed]

    Maude: Ned, did you clip Ann Landers today?
    Ned: [climbing into bed] Ann Landers is a boring old biddy!
    Maude: [gasps] Ned!

    [back to reality]

    Ned: [sobbing] I was more animal than man!


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    #7950
    HalloweenJack
    Registered Users Posts: 7,220 ✭✭✭HalloweenJack


    Love that episode.

    "One betting disk please."

    "Can I get your more libations?"
    "What?"
    "Do you want more booze?"
    "Oh yes, two more of these please. What about you Ned?"


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    #7951
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    HalloweenJack wrote: »
    Love that episode.

    "One betting disk please."

    "Can I get your more libations?"
    "What?"
    "Do you want more booze?"
    "Oh yes, two more of these please. What about you Ned?"

    From the same episode.

    Homer:Well, well, so flawless Flanders needs help from stinky pants Simpson.
    Flanders: Haha, yeah I guess I do.
    Homer: Welly, welly, welly, Mr. Clean wants to hang with Dirty Dingus McGee
    Flanders: How about it Homer, will you teach me the secrets of your intoxicating lust for life?
    Homer: Wellity, wellity, wellity...
    Flanders: Stop that! Will you help me or not?
    Homer: Let's do it.


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