Dental plan!

Jazzy

Would anyone care to join me in a belt of scotch?

Dave_

So, in sumation, a man should never be forced to testify against his wife.

salonfire

Lisa: Dad, what if I told you you could lose weight without dieting
or lifting a finger?
Homer: I'd say you're a lying scumbag!



Marge: Homer, has the weight loss tape reduced your appetite?
Homer: Ah, lamentably no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satieties.

Susie_Q

Young Carl: Have you heard about this Internet thing?
Young Lenny: Internet?
Young Carl: Yeah, its the inner netting they invented to line swim trunks. It provides a comforting snugness.

Later in the episode...

Young Carl: I think I just logged on to my internet.

IvySlayer

Homer: Marge, ya gotta help me, I have to do 1 good deed to get into heaven!

Marge: Well, I have a whole list of chores, clean the garage, paint the house ...

Homer: whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm just trying to get in, I'm not running for Jesus!





Bob Dole: Maybe Bob Dole should run, Bob Dole thinks Bob Dole should, actually Bob Dole like to hear about Bob Dole talk about Bob Dole...Bob Dole!

Wompa1

Are you here for the course on Seniality?

No!! I'm here for the course on Microwave Cookery..wait....no, Seniality..

Gunsfortoys

Foster care worker to Bart and Lisa: Now don't worry kids, we're just taking you to.......A FOSTER HOOOOOOOOME!

Wompa1

Ranger: We should take a moment to humour the kids.

KIDS YOUR FATHER'S GOING TO BE JUUUST FINE! ok, now people put on your corpse handling gloves we've got two frozen bodies buried somewhere in this mountain

Bart: Did you hear that Lis? Dad's going to be juuust fine.

krudler

Trab pu kcip

Pick a bar? what the hell is pick a bar?

jebuz

Homer: You su-diddely-uck, Flanders!….Hear ye, hear ye! Ye olde town crier proclaimed crappy by all! Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world!
Chief Wiggum: Good God, he is fabulous.
Principal Skinner: Yes, he's embiggened that role with his cromulent performance.

witty username

Ned Flanders, I mock your value system. You also appear foolish in the eyes of others.


Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent.


I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other.

PaddyBomb

Shhhhh.

..... You're cut too, shushy!

KnifeWRENCH

There's very little meat in these gymmats.

DJP

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

*drops pen in ass crack*

???

Lockstep

Jazzy wrote: »

Would anyone care to join me in a belt of scotch?

It's 9.30 in the morning!

That's ok, I havn't slept in 4 days.

Wompa1

Is it Saint Swiggins day already Aunt Hellllga?

Tis replied Aunt Helllga

blow69

Don't know if this has been posted, but this is a great website.

It's quotes, but with pictures.:)

http://eyeonspringfield.tumblr.com/

Brendog

Cheif Wiggum: "Hells Satans"? Well I've got my eye on you.
Homer: Nice try pig, but we're going the speed limit! Oinkoinkoinkoink
Carl: Haha Oink Oink
Cheif Wiggum: Well You'll slip up sometime and I'll be there to get you.
Homer: Hey pig you can knock me down but you'll never stop "The Cobras"
Cheif Wiggum: "The Cobras"? I thought your name was "Hells Satans"?
Homer: eh....ummm OINKOINKOINK!! *speeds away*

nervous_twitch

Lisa: Look at the "wonders" of the computer age now.
Homer: Wonders Lisa? Or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: Implied... Or implode?

IvySlayer

Principal Skinner: Now I... I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."

Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through...

I]fade to later[/I

Apu: ... it was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had...

I]later[/I

Apu: ... one of the most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?

I]pause[/I

Apu: I mean, thank you, come again.

salonfire

Homer: Hey, Bartly-boobly, care for a steak-a-rooney?
Bart: Sounds crumptly-uptious, dear old duddly-doodly!
Homer: Heh heh, duddly-doodly

Creature

nervous_twitch wrote: »

Lisa: Look at the "wonders" of the computer age now.
Homer: Wonders Lisa? Or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: Implied... Or implode?

Mom, make him stop.

krudler

WEllll if it isnt the captain of the wiener patrol, boning up on his nerd lessons!
Leave him alone Homer!
....egghead likes his booky wook!
Homer!
Just tucking him in!

krudler

So I says to Mable I says..

the purple tin

Hibbert: Congratulations, Mrs. Simpson: you're pregnant.
Marge: Mmm...
Hibbert: Am I to take it that this is I]chuckles[/I an unwanted pregnancy?
Marge: Oh, no, no, not exactly. It's just that I haven't told Homer
yet, and with his new job, I don't know how we're going to be
able to afford this.
Hibbert: Well, you know a healthy baby can bring upwards of $60,000.
Marge: What?!
Hibbert: Well, of course, that was just a test. Er, had you reacted
differently, you'd be in jail right now. Simply a test.
I]laughs uncomfortably[/I

As you can see we don't believe that "fur is murder", but paying for it sure is, a-huh-huh-huh.

Seosaimh77

Oh mercy, he's the real deal!!!

take everything

Homer: [sarcastic] Ooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!

take everything

"SKINNNERRR!"

Seosaimh77

It's all over people, we don't have a prayer

Sam Vimes

[Homer stares at a bowling ball for a while after looking up "marketing",
then leaps forward: "Of course!" He stands in front of the bowling
alley firing a shotgun repeatedly into the air and entreating the
screaming people around him to come and bowl]

Lisa: Mom, make Dad tell the story right!
Marge: That's what really happened.
Lisa: Oh...

[Homer walks dejected through the empty alley]
Homer: My marketing plan attracted a record number of police and fire officials. But few stayed to bowl.