Dental plan!

Comic Book Guy

Heard this one again on Today FM earlier to mark the show's 30th birthday.

Kent Brockman: Lisa Simpson is no longer Little Miss Springfield. She was stripped of her crown in a ceremony earlier today.......it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen Homer Simpson filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under "do not write under this space" he wrote "okay".

Raconteuse

So, girlie, ye like rollerskatin'?

No.

Yeah, everybody loves rollerskatin'.

Cake Man

Two classics from Luigi:


"Hey, Salvatore! Break out the cheap hooch for Mr. No Tip and the dried-up zombie he's a-captured"


Luigi (to Krusty when he enters his restaurant): "You don't want to sit with the rest of this scum"
*other people in restaurant grumble and get mad*
Luigi: "I only consider you scum-a compared to Krusty"
*people forgive him*
Luigi (cheerfully): "Yeah, you see how you scum"

MUFC91CS

Marge: We don't think you're slow. But on the other hand, it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything.
Homer: Do you think I don't want to? It's those TV networks Marge. They won't let me. One quality show after another, each one more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once - just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves. But they won't, they won't let me live.

Ipso

Dear baby. Welcome to Dumpville, population you.

RobbingBandit

Everybody in the USA hates their stupid neighbor

Raconteuse

Mmmm... I CAN feel three kinds of softness.

AndrewJRenko

Sea Captain, hangs up the phone: "Call me back Ishmael".

Chancer3001

Now this is the room WITH electricity..

But it has too much electricity

So i don't know you might want to wear a hat

Apu

paddylonglegs

It’s a little airborne, it’s still good, it’s still good

Rawr

Well, if you wanted to make Serak the Preparer cry, mission accomplished!!

Ipso

HA HA HA HA HA! That's the funniest anecdote I've ever heard, now you tell one.

AKF

Homer: Stand aside, Marge, I'm taking the boy deer hunting. He's going to grow up straight for once!
Marge: What?! You never went hunting before, and you're perfectly straight.
Homer: Oh yeah? How long since you've had a baby?


Lisa: But Dad, it's barbaric. How does killing a deer make you more of a man?
Homer: It just does. Name me one gay Indian.




They may be homers 2 greatest lines in the history of the show.

Ipso

Moe: What about Lisa, there might be hope for her.
Homer: No, she's a vegetarian.
Moe: Jeez, Homer. You and Marge aint cousins, are you?

paddylonglegs

Zzzzzzap, zzzzzzap

P.Walnuts

AndrewJRenko

Nelson : Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.

Nerdkiller1991

RobbingBandit

Ha January 1st Better get started on the old taxes

paddylonglegs

Marge: You must love ringing in the new year all the time.
Server: please kill me

AndrewJRenko

Marge : Homer, don't be offended, but I've obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding.
Homer : Well, these seem to be in order. I'll be out back in the hammock.

Raconteuse

Homer: "Now I'm no big city lawyer..."

Crowd: *stunned gasp* :eek:

Sephiroth_dude

Granpa Simpson "Which one you is the mailman?"

paddylonglegs

Can I come too?

Dr. Colossus

Scorpio: Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bont?

Mr. Bont: Scorpio, you're totally mad.

Scorpio: I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk.

Mr. Bont: So, do you expect me to talk?
Scorpio: I don't expect anything from you except to die and be a very cheap funeral.

RobbingBandit

Stop him he's supposed to die

P.Walnuts

Dr. Colossus wrote: »

.

Stay away from Death Mountain!

Dr. Colossus

P.Walnuts wrote: »

Stay away from Death Mountain!

But all my stuff is there!

05eaftqbrs9jlh

Well, if by “****” you mean educational fun, then stand back, it’s **** time!

Ipso

Look, there’s Robert Downey Junior filming a shootout for his new movie.
Where are the cameras?